Karma
by kayandkimsmom1
Summary: After years of heartache and longing, will Olivia and Alex finally get what they deserve?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Some of this story will follow cannon, but there will be glaring diversions from it as well. In my world, Alex's mother did not die while Alex was in Witsec and Nick Amaro doesn't leave. The story picks up around season 16-17. Olivia has made sergeant, Alex still works for the ICC, and Noah is about 18 months old. I'm not good at writing sex scenes, so you will have to fill in the blanks yourselves. This is the first thing I've written in like two years so your feedback is welcome.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

"Sergeant Benson, are you willing to raise this child as your lawful child?"

"Yes."

"This child will inherit from you, he will be treated no differently than a biological child. Do you agree?"

"Yes."

"Since everything seems to be in order. I'm going to sign off on the adoption."

Sergeant Olivia Benson smiled in relief as Judge Linden signed her signature with a flourish on the final paperwork. It was finally over. Noah Porter was now Noah Porter Benson; her son.

"I know this has been a long year… a hard process. I'm happy that things worked out for you and this young man." Judge Linden said addressing the wiggling child in the younger woman's arms.

"It was more than worth it. I can't thank you enough, your honor."

"If anyone should be thanked, it should be you. I had a good feeling about you, Sergeant and I'm glad I followed my instincts. You did a wonderful thing taking this child on as your own. All the best to you and your family." The judge said tenderly. "Now… unfortunately, I have to be in court in a few minutes, but you are more than welcome to take all the time you need to finish up here."

"Thank you again, your honor."

"You're welcome, Olivia. You two take care of each other."

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat and kissed her son's cheek as she watched the formidable judge sweep out of chambers. After taking a deep breath, Olivia turned and held out a hand to Noah's court appointed legal representative, Trevor Langan.

"Langan, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye on… well much of anything, but I can't even begin to thank you for everything you did to help make this day possible. You're really not as bad as I thought."

Trevor squeezed her hand gently and chuckled. "Well that is certainly high praise coming from you Sergeant Benson. And it was my pleasure. What you've done for this child is quite admirable. We've both seen what happens to some kids in the system. You probably saved his life."

Olivia shook her head and smiled fondly at Noah. "No. He definitely saved mine."

The attorney watched the new mother and son interact with fondness. It almost made him want to have settle down and have a few of his own… almost. He quickly shook those thoughts away.

"I don't know how you were able to pull it off, but I'm impressed. I really didn't think you'd be able to cut through all the red tape so quickly, especially after the whole mess with Noah's biological father and the shooting. I was sure it would be several more months with the possibility of more living relatives to contact, not to mention the IAB investigation dragging things out."

The attorney paused and stared at her for a moment. "You don't know, do you?"

Olivia frowned. "Know…what?"

"Apparently, you have friends in high places, Sergeant."

Olivia looked even more confused which made the attorney chuckle.

"Let me put it this way. I don't take on these cases for just anyone. The name Cabot carries a lot of weight in certain circles. When you get that call, you answer."

"Cabot? As in Alex Cabot?"

Langan nodded. "I'm sure I don't have to remind you that Alexandra can be quite persuasive. She called me a few months back informing me, in her own charming way of course, that this was a noble cause that I should champion."

"So you weren't appointed by the court?"

"Technically, I was… mainly because so important people suggested I do so. She called me again several days ago. She informed me that all avenues regarding the child's extended family had been pursued and the circumstances surrounding Noah's biological father's death had been settled. There was no reason the adoption should not continue as originally planned."

Olivia's mind was reeling. She hadn't crossed paths with Alex Cabot in well over a year and they hadn't exactly ended on the greatest of terms. They had never been able to regain the closeness they'd had the years before; the years before Velez… before Witsec… before Alex had distanced herself from everyone. The only thing Olivia could think was why. _'Why would Alex go to such lengths to help her?'_

"Now that Judge Linden has signed off on everything. I will take care of processing the final adoption decree. I will make sure you get all of the necessary paperwork for your own files."

Olivia blinked realizing Langan was still speaking. "So… that's it?"

"That's it." Langan smiled and held his hand out once again. "Congratulations… to both of you."

"Thank, Trevor. I… just thank you."

Langan nodded. "Take care, Olivia."

"You too." Olivia let out a soft laugh as she tickled Noah's tummy. She grinned with glee as her son's laughter bubbled through the room. "You ready to go home, son?"

Noah responded with a melodious giggle.

"Yeah. Let's go home."

* * *

Alex glared at the phone on her desk for the umpteenth time almost daring herself to pick it up. She'd received a short call from Trevor Langan an hour ago informing her that Olivia's adoption of Noah Porter had been finalized. He'd also informed her that his client was now aware of the part she had played in making it possible. She knew Olivia would most likely question her motives, but Alex also knew how much Olivia longed to be a mother and if making a few calls and using the Cabot name could make that happen, then so be it.

Alex found herself staring at the phone once again. There was a part of her that wanted to just call to congratulate her old friend. Another part of her was afraid of the reception she'd receive. She and Olivia hadn't exactly been close in recent years.

That fact alone caused Alex to carry a lot guilt. Things had never been the same between them after her stint in Witsec. It had taken a long time for Alex to get her life back on track, which led to three years of isolation and turmoil once she'd returned to New York. Unfortunately while she was rebuilding that life, life had not stopped for everyone else. Life had carried on and the people from Alex's previous life had changed. After a few awkward interactions, Alex was sure there wasn't a place for her anymore. More importantly, she didn't feel there was a place for her in Olivia Benson's life anymore.

The sound of her office phone startled her out of her reverie. "Alexandra Cabot."

"Hello, Alex."

Alex felt her breath catch as she heard that distinctive smooth alto voice floating through the phone. She gripped the handle of the phone until her knuckles went white. "Hello Olivia."

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** This didn't really turn out the way I wanted, but here it is. Comments/Constructive Criticism is welcomed.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

"Hello Olivia.

"Hey."

Alex cleared her throat nervously. "It's been a while."

"Yes, it has."

The silence was thick and stilted.

"Listen, I was calling to ask…"

"Would you like to…"

Their words mingled as they spoke simultaneously. It reminded them both of how they used to talk over one another and sometimes even finish each other's sentences long ago. They both laughed feeling some of the tension ease.

"I'm sorry. There must have been a reason you called. You first." Alex said softly.

"I had an interesting conversation with Trevor Langan today."

Alex swallowed. "Is that so?" _'Here we go.'_

"Mmhm." Olivia waited. When it was clear that Alex wasn't going to be forthcoming, she continued. "Any ideas as to what that conversation was about?"

"Considering the fact that Trevor loves to hear the sound of his own voice, I'm sure it could be a plethora of things."

Olivia couldn't help but snicker. Alex was just as quick witted as ever.

"Apparently, I have friends in high places." Olivia said.

"I don't know about the high places, but no matter what has happened in the past I'd like to think that the term friend would still apply." Alex said sincerely.

"Well...I would say… anyone who would go to such lengths to help me and a child they don't even know is definitely a friend." Olivia said over the lump in her throat.

There was another long moment of silence.

"Look, I don't know how or why you did it but… I just wanted to thank you for making sure Noah's adoption wasn't delayed further."

"The how, you don't need to concern yourself with. As for the why… I think you already know." Alex said.

"Indeed." Olivia said softly. "Listen… I'm having a small celebration for Noah tonight around six. Just a few friends from the station. I'm sure a few of the old gang will make an appearance too. It would be nice to see you… you know… if you're free."

Alex took a deep breath and tried to slow her heart threatening to beat out of her chest. "Um… sure. I have a few meetings, but I should be able to come by."

"Great. You'll get a chance to meet Noah."

"I look forward to it. Your address is still the same, right?"

"It is."

"Ok. Should I bring anything?"

A moment passed before Olivia responded softly. "Just yourself, Counselor. See you soon."

Alex smiled softly as she placed the phone back on the base.

* * *

The small celebration had actually turned into quite the party. It warmed Olivia's heart to see so many familiar faces around the room making small talk and enjoying themselves. Munch and Fin had fallen back into their old banter as if a no time had passed. John Munch without a conspiracy theory was like a fish without water. Dr. Melinda Warner and Dr. George Huang were on the other side of the room with their spouses discussing the upcoming elections. Olivia's half-brother, Simon and his wife were on the sofa busy trying to instruct ADA Barba on how to hold Noah without looking as if he were holding a ticking bomb. The now retired Don Cragen was holding court in the corner keeping Dominick Carisi and Amanda Rollins entertained with wild stories from his early days on the job. It still amazed her how the junior detectives hung on his every word. Everyone Olivia loved and cared about was in this room… with the exception of one person.

 _'No sense in dwelling on it. You knew she probably wouldn't show.'_ Olivia kept reminding herself as she moved around the kitchen. _'You knew better than to get your hopes up.'_

"Hey, why the sad face? This is a day of celebration." Nick Amaro said leaning against the kitchen island.

Olivia placed the last of the cupcakes away before facing him, putting on her best smile. "I'm not sad, Nick. I was just thinking about how blessed I am. Look at this place. Noah is going to be surrounded by all those people now. He finally has a family. I couldn't be happier today."

Nick followed her gaze, taking note of the entire room of friends and family. "Yeah, but he's not the only one that finally has a family, Liv. You do too."

She smiled genuinely. "You're right. I do."

He quickly grabbed two glasses and filled them with champagne. "To family."

"To family."

Two hours later, nearly all of the party guest had cleared out. Amanda was still entertaining Noah in the living-room so Olivia could finish the last of the cleanup in the kitchen. Olivia smiled at the sound of her son's laughter filtering in from the other room as she wiped down the counter. Her brow rose at the familiar sound of Amanda's cell phone ringing.

"Rollins… You're kidding me?... What about Carisi?" The blonde said into the phone. She glanced up as Olivia entered the room with a lifted brow. Amanda mouthed 'Fin' as an answer.

"Go." Olivia responded instantly.

"Actually, Fin, I'm still in the area. I'll meet you there." Amanda said before ending the call. "Fin got a call from a former vic. Thinks her old abusive boyfriend is back."

Olivia nodded. "Let me know if there's something to it."

"Will do. Are you sure I can't help you finish up before I go?"

Olivia gave her a meaningful glare. "Get out of here."

"You got it, boss." The blonde said knowing it would annoy her.

Before Olivia could open the door, they both heard a soft knock. Olivia frowned wondering who it could be.

"I thought you told Fin you'd meet him there?"

"I did." Amanda said shrugging her shoulders.

Olivia glanced through the peep hole and blinked in surprise. She opened the door to find Alex Cabot standing there.

There was a few moments of complete silence, all three women looking at each other. Amanda was the first to break the pregnant pause. "Umm… Nice to see you again Ms. Cabot. Thanks for the invite again, Sarg. I'll fill you in if we find out anything."

Olivia was finally able to look away from the blonde standing outside her door to address the blonde standing next to her. "You do that. Goodnight Rollins."

Neither woman really noticed the young detective's exit. Rollins smirked knowingly at Cabot's mumbled goodbye as she headed towards the elevator. ' _I wonder if those two will ever get a clue.'_

Olivia smiled softly. "You made it."

"I did."

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thank you to those who have taken the time to review and follow this story. I appreciate the feedback. I know I'm a bit rusty. Hopefully, I'll get better as the story progresses.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

Olivia and Alex stood staring at one another in the doorway for what seemed like forever until Alex was finally able to put a few words together. Once she started rambling, she couldn't seem to stop. "I know I'm probably too late, but I didn't want you to think that I had discarded your invitation. That would be rude and I brought a gift, but I know it's late and … I should probably just leave…"

Olivia blinked and shook her head. "No!" She said almost too loudly. "No, don't leave. Please… come in."

Alex eyed her warily. "Are you sure because…"

"Please, Alex… come in." Olivia moved aside allowing the other woman inside. "See? Noah's actually still up."

Alex moved gracefully into the apartment even though she felt completely overcome with uneasiness. "I apologize for missing the celebration. I had an emergency meeting that couldn't be postponed." She said with remorse.

"Oh, that's okay. I understand. I know it was sort of short notice anyway." Olivia said leading her into the living room. She immediately made her way over to the playpen where her son was standing. She lifted him into her arms and turned to face the blonde.

"Alex, this is Noah Porter Benson. Noah, this is a very dear friend of Mommy's. This is Alex."

Alex smiled with genuine happiness as she watched Olivia with her new son. She had always known that Olivia would make a wonderful mother.

"Well hello there, Noah. It's wonderful to meet you." Alex said allowing his chubby hand to grab her finger. "You, young man, just won the Mommy lottery." Alex smirked at the blush rising along the brunette's cheeks.

Noah bubbled with excitement and reached out towards the blonde. Olivia blinked in surprise knowing Noah didn't just allow anyone to hold him.

A look of sheer panic crossed the attorney's face for a moment as she took the leaning toddler into her arms. She had never been good with small children. Noah flashed his toothy grin her way, clutching a clump of golden locks into his hand before resting his head on her shoulder. Alex felt a rush of warmth all over. She was instantly smitten.

"I think he likes you." Olivia said in a soft voice as she watched them. She suddenly frowned. "I should probably warn you though. He's cutting his last two baby teeth in the back so he's likely to drool all over that expensive suit of yours."

Olivia moved to take him back only for Noah to cling to Alex more. After two failed attempts, Alex waved her off. "He's fine, Olivia. A little drool never hurt anyone."

"Alright then. Just don't send me an outrageous bill for dry cleaning that Armani, Counselor." Olivia said with a grin as she placed small cloth over the blonde's shoulder.

Alex handed Olivia the colorful gift bag in her hand so she could hold Noah more securely.

Olivia lifted a brow in question.

"It's just a little something. Go ahead and open it."

Olivia smiled as she pulled out a beautiful memory book titled 'My family, My Journey', several hardback books along with a stunning and obviously expensive silver frame with the words _'Our Family'_ inscribed along the bottom. "Wow. Alex, this is… this is beautiful. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Liv." Alex said falling into those familiar soulful eyes. She didn't even realize that she had slipped and called the other woman by her nickname.

Olivia on the other had did notice. "Well, since you two seem to be getting on so well, I'm going to finish up in the kitchen and get his bath ready… that is if you don't mind watching him for a few minutes?" _'Stay… please say you'll stay.'_

"Of course. Noah and I will be just fine won't we Noah?" Alex said with more confidence that she felt. She carried Noah over to the playpen and handed him a stuffed bear.

Olivia watched them fondly for a moment. It was a little surreal watching the scene play out before her. It was hard to believe what she was seeing. Alexandra Cabot was sitting in her home playing with her son… her son. It was going to take a while for Olivia to get used to that. She watched for a few more precious moments before heading towards the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later, the apartment was now spotless and Olivia was ready to give Noah his bath. When she returned to the living room, what she found touched her deeply. There sitting on her sofa was the woman of her dreams, the woman she had ached for holding her son in her arms reading one of his favorite books. The two looked completely at ease with each other as if they'd known one another for years. It was a scene Olivia never even dreamed of seeing. She leaned in the doorway and took it all in silently wishing the moment would never end.

Alex could feel Olivia's eyes on her but she didn't dare look up. It had always been that way whenever she was in the older woman's presence. It was as if her body sensed the weight of those intense brown eyes.

"And that is how Thomas and his Friends saved the town. The End." Alex said as Noah clapped his chubby little hands. Alex laughed as she watched him. "You're very easy to please, young man. I wish I had you on a few on my juries."

"Don't let that smile fool you. He's actually really picky when it comes to people. But…I think he really likes you." _'Like Mother, Like Son.'_ She thought to herself.

Alex looked up to find the brunette watching from the doorway. She couldn't help but notice how beautiful Olivia looked in the light blue dress. "I'm glad my courtroom voice still garners such a positive response, but judging by his intense babbling I might need to work on my closing statement."

Olivia shook her head and moved into the room. Catching a glimpse of his mother, Noah instantly started calling for his mommy and reaching for her. Olivia knew she'd never grow tired of hearing him say that.

"Someone's had a busy day and is in need of a bath and soft bed for the night." Olivia said in a tone she only used for her son.

"Maybe I should go and let you put him to bed." Alex moved to get up only for Olivia's hand to land on her shoulder holding her in place.

"His bath will only take a few minutes and then he's usually out like a light. You should stay."

"Are you sure? I know it's been a long day for you both." Alex said hesitantly.

"I'd really like for you to stay, Alex… unless you have somewhere to be."

Alex held Olivia's gaze for a long moment trying to read the situation. "No. There is nowhere else I have to be."

Olivia swallowed. "Good. Make yourself at home then. There's actually a bottle of wine breathing on the counter if you'd like a glass. I'll just be a few minutes."

Alex simply nodded and watched the brunette disappear down the hallway before standing and moving over to the counter. She nervously poured herself a glass of Merlot hoping it would calm her nerves. She spent the next few minutes just staring out over the city. The streetlights and traffic below mingled in together casting a soft glow into the dim lighting of the room. She could hear Olivia's soothing voice in the background floating through the otherwise silent apartment. Alex closed her eyes and allowed the sound to calm her racing mind. She wasn't sure how much time had passed before she felt a presence behind her.

Olivia folded her arms across her chest and took in the scenery outside the window. She also took in the scenery standing in her living room. Olivia had always thought that Alexandra Cabot was a beautiful woman. Let's face it. The woman was drop-dead gorgeous. She always had been, but tonight Olivia found the attorney even more stunning. Alex looked the same yet so different from the way Olivia remembered. Alex was still graceful and regal, but there was a softness to her once rigid posture. Her hair was still blonde, but almost golden now with longer more soft flowing waves. And those eyes… they were still as blue as the bluest sea yet there was a wisdom and warmth behind that steely gaze that the brunette had never seen there before. The only way Olivia could describe the woman before her now was… breathtaking.

Alex turned and their eyes met. Olivia moved a few steps closer finally joining her in front of the window. They both stared out at the city. "Even though we both know how cruel this city can be, it's still one of the most beautiful sights to see isn't it?"

Alex turned her eyes taking in the brunette's profile. Olivia was just as gorgeous as she remembered, yet changed. Her hair was much longer now. Her face seemed to be a little softer, but the eyes were just as she remembered. They were still expressive, still unfathomably soulful. Those were the eyes she saw in her dreams every night. The eyes that she had never been able to forget.

"I've never seen anything quite so exquisite." Alex said keeping her eyes fastened on the older woman's profile.

Olivia could feel those intense blue eyes on her. Her skin tingled as if she were being physically caressed. She swallowed hard knowing it was now or never. She and Alex had played this game of cat-and-mouse for years; one party always retreating before feelings could be openly expressed. After everything she had endured the last couple of years, Olivia had come to realize that tomorrow wasn't a guarantee. There had been times when she thought she wouldn't live to see another day. Because of that, she had made a promise to live in the now and grab happiness with both hands wherever she could find it. No matter the outcome, Olivia refused to live with the 'what ifs' any longer.

"You know… I was really angry with you for a long time, Alex." Olivia said softly.

Alex had turned her gaze back towards the window, staring out at nothing and everything all at once. Olivia could see her take a deep breath as her shoulders slumped slightly. "I know you were."

"I tried to rationalize it away. I tried to convince myself that I had no right to be angry at you, that it was your life and your choices. I tried to make myself believe that what I felt was the loss of a friend… and nothing more."

"You had every right to be angry at me, Liv."

"I know I did." Olivia said turning to face the younger woman.

Both knew where this was going. This was the point where they usually changed the subject or pretended to be talking about something else. Tonight was different though. Alex knew they were about to lay everything out in the open after years of avoiding it. It was long past due.

"I know that because… I didn't just lose my friend. At least in my heart, it didn't feel like I did." Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat.

"What did it feel like?" Alex asked so softly Olivia nearly missed it.

"It felt like… I lost the woman that I loved." _There_ , Olivia thought. She'd finally said it.

A single tear fell from Alex's eye as she dropped her head in both fear and relief. Olivia slowly lifted her chin and gently wiped the lone tear away before cupping Alex's cheek. Alex turned, eyes falling shut as she leaned into the touch. Each gravitated towards the other until they were nearly touching.

"I know it sounds crazy, but losing you nearly killed me… even though you were never really mine." Olivia breathed out.

"Yes, I was." Alex said taking the last step, pulling the brunette into a tight embrace. "I've always been yours, Olivia."

Olivia felt dizzy from the rush of emotions surging through her body. She held on to Alex as if she would disappear into thin air. Unable to hold it any longer, a deep sob erupted causing Alex to pull the older woman even closer. Over a decade worth of tears were given as an unspoken offering for the time they'd wasted. Soon only the soft murmurings of comfort could be heard in the silence of the room.

"How can you ever… forgive me? I wasted so much time, caused us both so much pain." Alex lamented.

Olivia met familiar blue eyes and sighed. "There's nothing to forgive. We _both_ wasted too much time. We _both_ chose to settle because we were afraid."

"I don't want to waste any more time."

Olivia waited with abated breath hoping to hear the words she'd dreamed of hearing since she first laid eyes on Alexandra Cabot.

"I'm… I'm in love with you, Olivia. I've loved you for so long that I can't even remember a time when I didn't. I'm so sorry I never told you."

Olivia blinked and a slow smile moved over her features. She stared at Alex with a look of dumb wonder as she rested her forehead against Alex's. "Will you do something for me?"

"Anything." Alex promised.

"Will you say that one more time? I feel like I've waited my entire life to hear that."

"I love you, Olivia." Alex placed a gentle kiss on Olivia's cheek. "Je t'aime ma cherie." A kiss to the forehead followed. "Je t'ai toujours aime'." Olivia's eyes closed as soft lips found her other cheek. "Tu es l'amour de ma vie." Was whispered before soft lips covered her own.

It was a kiss nearly fourteen years in the making. Soft, yet filled with passion and longing. Olivia's hands found their way into long blonde locks while Alex's hand mapped out the line of her love's back. Olivia held on for dear life as her knees buckled as Alex's tongue searched the contours of her mouth. ' _Good lord the woman can kiss'_

Only the burning need for oxygen forced the two woman apart. Foreheads touching, their eyes opened and finally met.

"Wow." Olivia whispered.

Alex met her eyes and smiled. "I love you, Olivia and I'll say it in every language that I know and in every kiss… if you wish."

Alex kissed her passionately once more before taking a step back. She found Olivia's hands and laced their fingers together. A small smile graced her features as she noticed how perfectly their hands fit together. They stood there simply staring at each other as if trying to memorize every inch of each other.

"Is this really happening… finally?" Olivia asked.

Alex smirked. "I certainly hope so. Otherwise, I'm going to be really pissed when I wake up from this dream."

The comment made the usually stoic sergeant laugh out loud. This was the quick witted Alexandra Cabot that she knew and loved. _'Loved'_ she thought. She loved Alex and Alex loved her back. After all these years, everything was finally out in the open. No more longing for the unknown; no more hiding. This was their new reality and it looked better than all the fantasies and daydreams her mind could ever conjure.

"I could also just pinch you. I've heard that works too." Alex said noticing the faraway look on the brunette's face.

Olivia jumped as she felt the brief pain on her arm. "Ow! Hey! That hurt."

Alex laughed. "Oh, you big baby. Would you like me to kiss it and make it better?"

Olivia blinked at the openly seductive tone of the attorney's voice. She swallowed hard. "Umm… actually that sounds pretty damn great."

Alex was leaning in to do just that when the sound of a soft cry erupted over the monitor on the counter. Olivia gave her a regretful look as she stepped away. Suddenly, the reality of their worlds was back in full force. The soft cries reminding them that it wasn't just the two of them in the world anymore.

"I… I just need a second to…"

"Go. I won't disappear."

"You promise?" Olivia asked looking her in the eyes.

Although said lightly, Alex could see the fear behind those dark eyes and it hit her like a ton of bricks. She knew she had been the one to put the doubt there. It nearly broke her heart to think that her disappearing was really a part of Olivia's reality.

"I promise. I'll be right here." Alex said with purpose.

Olivia nodded before rushing down the hall towards her son leaving Alex to ponder what had just happened. Alex turned back towards the window and noticed a photo of a smiling Olivia with her son. She ran a finger over the image and sighed.

 _"You better be sure about this Cabot."_

 **TBC**

Google Translations:

Je t'aime ma cherie: I love you my darling

Je t'ai toujours aime': I have always loved you

Tu es l'amour de ma vie: You are the love of my life

* * *

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I struggled with this chapter. I don't know why. I just had a block today. I hope it turned out okay. I'm sorry it's so short. Hopefully, I'll feel inspired to write more tomorrow. All mistakes are mine.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

"Everything okay?" Alex asked as Olivia returned a few minutes later.

"Yeah. He just need Mr. Quackers."

Olivia nearly laughed at Alex's confused look. "Fin gave him this fuzzy stuffed duck. We named him Mr. Quackers. He loves that thing and can't sleep without it."

Alex nodded. There was an awkward silence between them. It was as if the spell had been broken and the tension was back. Olivia's heart sank a little. "Is this going to be a problem?"

"Is what going to be a problem?"

Olivia swallowed hard almost afraid of the answer she might receive. "I have a kid now, Alex."

"I know. We've met."

"We're kind of a packaged deal, you know?"

"I gathered that." Alex tilted her head. "Where are you going with this, Liv?"

"It's not just me anymore. Every choice I make affects him now. I have to put him first… no matter how I might feel."

"I'm not going to lie. I've never… been seriously involved with anyone with children. But… " Alex shrugged her shoulders. "It's not like it was ever a deliberate choice. It just never happened."

"Are you saying that you _never_ turned down a date from someone after you found out they had kids?" Olivia asked skeptically.

Olivia smirked when she saw Alex's cheeks blush an adorable shade of rose.

Alex sighed. "Okay, you might have a point, but I was at a different stage in my life and…" She took a step closer and took Olivia by the hand. "None of those people were you. So, you have a son. He's beautiful by the way. I happen to find him as charming as his mother."

Olivia felt some of her anxiety going away, but not all. "So, what you're saying is… you still want to…"

"Olivia, I don't take the words I love you lightly. I can count on one hand the number of people I've said it to in my entire life. I love you… which means that I will love your son because he is a part of you. How could I not?"

Olivia still felt a little uneasy. The last thing she wanted was to start something with Alex only for it all to fall apart later. She didn't think she'd be able to take losing Alex all over again, not after everything they'd said to one another tonight. "A lot of people would see a child as baggage or at the very least, an obstacle."

"Well, I'm not a lot of people." Alex said looking Olivia straight in the eyes. "And…I know that we'll have to take things slowly and we have so much to talk about… but I want to try. I want this. Don't you?"

Olivia finally breathed with relief seeing the blonde speak with such confidence. "Of course I do."

"Good." Alex said in relief.

"Good." Olivia grinned.

Glancing at the clock, Alex winced. "It's getting late and I should be going."

Olivia actually whined which made Alex chuckle. She couldn't help but capture those pouty lips in a soft kiss. "I have an early flight tomorrow."

"A flight?" Olivia asked in confusion. "You're leaving?"

"Yes. I have to meet with opposing counsel in London tomorrow. I'm due back in three days."

Olivia tried not to feel disappointed. She'd forgotten that Alex's work with the ICC meant that she often had to travel for her cases. She tried to push down that old fear that was trying to rise up again. She wondered if she would always worry when Alex had to leave. _Don't worry Olivia. It's just work. It's only three days._ Olivia thought to herself.

"I really should go. If I stay any longer I will be tempted to never leave."

Olivia wrapped her up in a tight embrace. Her lips found Alex's delicate neck. "I'm more than okay with that idea."

Alex laughed and wiggled away. She pointed an accusing finger towards the brunette. "You… You are dangerous. And I'm going to go before I do something reckless and find out just how dangerous you can be."

Olivia wiggled her brows in a suggestive way causing Alex to laugh out loud as they walked to the door hand in hand.

"Three days huh?" Olivia said staring at the floor.

"I'll call you as soon as I can." Alex said making sure she looked Olivia in the eyes.

Olivia managed a small smile. "You'd better. Good night, Counselor."

"Good night, Sergeant. I'll see you soon."

They shared one last kiss before Alex slipped out the door. Olivia leaned back against the door and sighed. "Three days."

 **TBC**

* * *

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to review.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thank you for the feedback. I think I have a better idea as to where I plan to take the story. I feel like I'm getting back into the groove of writing again. Things will start to pick up a bit in the coming chapters. I'm not in a rush though. I hope you all continue to follow. Like always, all mistakes are mine.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

Doubt was such a small word. It was little five letters, but it held so much power. Doubt had kept Olivia Benson from the happiness she'd so rightly deserved for many years. She had at times doubted her abilities as a detective. It didn't matter that she was of the most decorated officers in the NYPD. She doubted her ability to be a mother when the adoption agencies had turned her down, even though everyone who knew her knew what a great mother she would be someday. Most of all Olivia doubted her ability to love and be loved in return. That fear stemmed from her past. How could she be in a loving relationship when all she'd ever known were brief one night stands and a string of unsuccessful short flings. Yes, doubt and Olivia Benson had a long standing relationship.

Olivia glanced at the picture sitting proudly on her desk and she couldn't help but smile at her son's chubby grin staring back at her. So many wonderful things had happened over the course of the past year. She had been promoted to Sergeant and was on her way to making Lieutenant. She was now the mother of a beautiful baby boy. She'd also gained the knowledge that the woman of her dreams loved her as well. The loving relationship she'd always yearned for was right there within her reach. All she had to do was go for it. Most people would be on cloud nine. So, Olivia had to ask herself why wasn't she? The answer was pure and simple… doubt. The doubts were still there.

After Alex left Olivia's apartment three nights before, Olivia had laid awake in bed replaying every detail from the entire night over and over in her mind. Alex loved her and wanted to try. But that's when the doubts started. It all came back to the moment Alex said she had an early flight. Alex was leaving. In Olivia's mind, Alex was **_always_** leaving. She left to go into Witsec. She left after the Connors Trial. She left to go half way across the world to play legal crusader in the Congo. Alex was **_always_** leaving, always leaving **_her_**. This time, it was London, but what about next week or the next?

Rationally, Olivia understood that traveling was a part of Alex's job. Alex worked for the Office of the Prosecutor for the International Criminal Court. Even though the attorney's home based office was located in New York, the job required the attorney to travel to the Netherlands, Rome, London, and only god knows where else at the drop of a hat. Olivia didn't know if she could handle waiting for the moment when Alex would disappear from her life for good.

The doubts had taken over and that was the true reason Alex's calls and texts had gone unanswered for the past three days. Alex hadn't worried much when Olivia hadn't returned her call the first day. She'd simply left a message that she'd landed safely in London and would call again when she had the chance. She knew better than most what Olivia's job was like. By the second day, Alex still wasn't all that worried just a little annoyed. When all her texts and calls went unanswered by the third day, she'd dialed the front desk of the 1-6 precinct and asked if Sergeant Benson was in. Once she knew Olivia was in her office and not lying in a hospital bed or even worse on a cold slab in the morgue, she went past aggravated and worried on to royally pissed.

Alex started piecing the evidence together like the brilliant prosecutor she was. It didn't take long to figure out what was going on. Olivia was deliberately avoiding her. If there was one thing Alex knew hadn't changed about Olivia over the years was the older woman's tendency to run. Olivia was pushing her away, that much was obvious. The question was why.

After a long and tedious flight back to NYC, all Alex wanted to do was take a long hot bath and sleep. However, that would not be in the cards just yet. There was a very important stop she had to make first. As she moved through the throng of bustling travelers in JFK airport and out into the New York air, Alex was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by her mother's driver. She flashed him a weary but grateful smile.

"Hello Joseph. Not that I'm not happy to see you, but I don't recall requesting you to pick me up."

"Good evening, Ms. Alexandra." He said tipping his hat and taking her garment bag with practiced ease. "Mrs. Cabot knew you were returning home today. She knew you would be tired and insisted I drive you home. She says you work too hard as it is. I happen to agree."

Alex rolled her eyes at her mother's and Joseph's mothering, but secretly appreciated it. "Well thank you both, but I could've just taken a cab. There's actually a stop I need to make before I go home."

Joseph patiently held open the door to the sleek black Mercedes. "Mrs. Cabot is not in need of my services this evening, so I can take you wherever you'd like, Ms. Alexandra."

Alex shook her head. In all the years she had known the man, she had never managed to get him to drop the Ms. and just call her Alex. She placed a quick kiss on the older gentleman's cheek. The familiar scent of his 'Old Spice' aftershave took her back to her childhood for a brief moment making her smile despite her weariness. Joseph had been one of the few permanent fixtures in her life. He was like family and she loved him dearly.

As they pulled out into the busy Manhattan traffic, Joseph spied Alex through the rear view mirror. She had lain back against the cool leather seat and closed her eyes. To those who did not know the young attorney well, she would have appeared completely relaxed. However, Joseph Barry did know her. He'd known Alex since she was a precocious little four year old which is why he recognized the slight wrinkle between her eyes and the slight stiff upper lip as signs that something was weighing on her heavily.

"Where to Ms. Alexandra?"

Piercing blue eyes of steel opened and pinned his through the mirror. He saw that same resolute gaze he'd seen when she was a child and was determined to prove her point. "Manhattan's 16th Precinct."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Alex entered the 16th precinct and took a moment to glance around. It had been nearly two years since she'd set foot inside. It was different than she remembered. Some of the desks had been repositioned. The lighting seemed to be a little brighter. There were obvious updates to the technology and equipment around the room. She could remember when the budget was so little, the detectives wrote most of the leads and information on dry-erase boards and posted the pictures of suspects, witnesses, and evidence up with thumbtacks. She could still picture Olivia leaning back in her old, rickety desk chair going over a theory while she sat on the edge of the desk hanging on the woman's every word.

"Well if it isn't my favorite Counselor." Came a familiar voice pulling her out of the memory.

Alex turned and smiled. "Detective Tutuola. Long time no see."

He flashed her a charming grin before pulling her into a warm hug. She wholeheartedly returned it. He pulled away and gave her the once over. "Still looking like a million bucks, baby."

Alex blushed in spite of herself. She always found something about the burly detective charming. "Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."

He shrugged his shoulders and stroked his goatee playfully. "Well you know, I try."

Alex chuckled and shook her head before turning serious. "How is your son Kenneth and his partner?"

Fin looked touched that she remembered his son and his partner Alejandro. "They're both doing well. Alejandro is finally fully recovered. They got hitched a few months ago actually." He scratched the back of his neck and looked a little sheepish. "Now, they're talking about maybe making me a grandfather."

Alex's brows shot up. "Wow. You ready for that? Although, I could see you being a granddad." She said as she touched his greying goatee.

Fin nodded and smiled. "When you say it like that, you make it sound all sexy. So yeah. I think I am ready for it… as long as my kid is happy. That's all that really matters to me these days."

Alex ran a hand down his arm giving his hand a gentle squeeze. She knew that the tough detective had come a long way in accepting his son's sexuality. "Good for you, Fin."

"So…" He smothered a grin when he saw her glance towards Olivia's office. "What brings you by? You ready to give up that fancy office at the ICC and come play in our neck of the woods again?"

"We'll have to see about that, but I was actually hoping to have a word with your sergeant. Is she here?" She asked.

"Nah, she had a meeting with the big wigs over at One PP earlier." He glanced at his watch. "She should be back soon though. She called to check in a few minutes ago."

An idea formed in Alex's head. "Great. I'm going to wait for her in the office. And Fin?" She waited until he met her eyes and pinned him with a knowing look. "I don't want you to tell her that I'm here."

Fin looked at her for a moment gauging her intentions. "Alright, I guess you know what you're doing. But if Liv hands me my ass I'm pointing her in your direction."

"I promise… your ass will be least of her worries." She said before striding towards the office.

Fin shook his head. "Damn, I've missed you Cabot." A wave over her shoulder was her only response.

Less than ten minutes later, a frustrated Olivia strode into the precinct. If there was one thing she hated about her job as commanding officer was the politics. With Nick still on leave and Rollins in court, the usually bustling precinct was pretty empty. She saw Fin across the room going over a few old cases and giving tips on procedure with Carisi. She was glad to see her most senior detective taking on a more teaching roll with the junior detectives. If she was going to become the new Lieutenant soon, Fin was the obvious choice to move up as the new Sergeant. She knew he had his apprehensions about it, but with Amaro not in favor with One PP they didn't really have a choice.

"Hey guys." She said in greeting. "Everything good here?"

"Yep. Rollins checked in before she went home for the night. She said everything went good in court today, apparently Barba was on fire."

"Good. At least there is at least some good news in my day. Listen, I have some calls to make in the office. Is there anything else I need to know?

Fin slowly shook his head discretely eyeing the office. "Nah, as a matter of fact, Carisi and I were about to go grab some dinner."

Carisi frowned. "But you just said…"

"I **_said_** … I had a craving for a salad man." Fin said giving him a hard look. Carisi swallowed hard and nodded.

"Yeah, you want us to bring you something Sarg?" The younger detective asked kindly.

She shook her head and chuckled. "No thanks, Carisi. I'll be heading home soon. I'm glad you two are eating heathier though."

"You know us. We're all about being healthy. See you later, boss." Carisi said hustling to catch up to Fin.

Olivia raised a curious brow as she watched them rush out. She knew they were up to something and would likely find out sooner or later. With a long sigh, she turned and entered her office. Moving directly over to the desk, she placed her leather satchel down and looked out the window. Years of experience allowed her to sense that she was not alone in the room. Olivia's hackles rose and she froze. Hand on her weapon, she turned slowly to find none other than Alexandra Cabot seated across the room. She was dressed in a killer black suit, legs crossed perfectly, with her hands folded primly in her lap. It was a picture of beautiful elegance until she reached the piercing blue eyes staring back at her from behind black frames. They looked enraged. The phrase 'the devil wears prada' suddenly came to mind.

"Alex." Olivia swallowed. _"At least I know what those two were up to now."_ She mumbled.

"So… you remember my name. That rules out amnesia. That answers one of my questions. Let's see how you do with the others, shall we Sergeant."

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews, messages, and feedback. I appreciate it. I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Please feel free to continue to let me know what you like and dislike. Like always, all mistakes are mine.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

Olivia cleared her throat. "You're back?"

"So it seems. I told you I would be back in three days. I also recall telling you that I'd call you."

Olivia moved around the front of the desk and leaned back against it. Alex pinned her with a glare. Blue eyes scanned the Sergeant's body from head to toe as if performing an actual x-ray. Olivia felt a shiver run through her.

"I don't see any injuries. Were you injured in some way?"

Olivia slowly shook her head already knowing where this was going. "No, I wasn't injured."

"I'm glad to hear that. That was one of the thoughts that crossed my mind. It was not a pleasant feeling to experience being an ocean away and all."

A long beat of silence fell between them before Alex spoke again.

"Has Noah been ill or hurt in any way?"

"No, Alex…"

"Did you catch a new case?"

"No."

"Was your phone damaged or lost in some type of chase or accident?"

"No."

"Then I gather you received my messages?"

"Yes, but…"

Alex held up a finger before standing. She clasped her hands behind her back and paced, the sound of her stilettos clicking against the floor with each measured step.

"So let me see if I have all the pertinent information correct. You received my calls. You were not hindered by or busy with a new case. You were not injured nor was your son ill. Yet, you chose not to even bother to reply to any of my messages or calls. Does that about sum it up, Sergeant?"

"Alex…"

"Olivia, I'm very good with words, exceptional to be honest. It's what I do and I understand them quite well. I am also not a woman too fragile or weak to accept rejection. So if you have changed your mind and want nothing to do with me, all you have to do is say it. I never took you for a coward." Alex said gathering her purse heading for the door.

Olivia rushed to place a hand over the door before the blonde had the chance to open it. She found herself with her front pressed against the attorney's back so close she could smell the sweet smell of Alex's shampoo. "That's not what I want. You have to know that." Olivia said in a near whisper.

"I don't know anything because you won't talk to me." Alex was fuming. "And if that's not what you want, you have a funny way of showing it."

"I don't want you to leave. Please." Olivia said desperately.

A long moment passed before Alex took her hand off the door. Olivia finally stepped back and allowed Alex to turn around. What Olivia saw made her feel a wave of guilt settle heavily upon her chest. Now that she was close enough, she could see the red tint around those blue eyes. It wasn't rage Olivia saw. It was hurt.

"I'm sorry. Please… can we just…just… talk?"

Alex watched her for a long moment before she allowed the brunette to lead her over to the sofa. She remained silent.

"I got your messages… all of them and I wanted to call you back. I did. I… I wanted nothing more than to hear your voice."

"Then why? Why did you avoid me?"

"Because… I… I got scared."

"Scared? Scared of me? Am I really that hard to talk to?" Alex said displaying the hurt in her voice.

"No, of course not."

"Then what? What could you possibly be afraid of?"

"I don't want you to leave, Alex." Olivia ground out in frustration.

Alex looked confused. "Leave? What…"

"I don't think I could take it this time, not after everything we said to each other that night."

Alex was still confused. "Why would you think I'm leaving, Olivia?"

Olivia scoffed. "Maybe because you're **_always_** leaving!"

"Olivia, I told you I had to meet with opposing counsel. I told you where I was going and even when I'd be back. I don't get what…"

"You left before, Alex! Why would this time be any different?" Olivia said looking wounded.

It took a moment, but soon Alex's eyes widened with understanding. They were having two different conversations. She shook her head. "That was different. I… I didn't have a choice then, Olivia."

"You didn't have a choice when it came to Witsec, but you **_chose_** to stay away when you came back for good and you **_chose_** to go to Africa."

Alex shook her head in disbelief. "I went to Africa because I thought I could do some good there and to be honest I didn't have a reason to stay!"

"How can you say that?!" Olivia yelled and stood abruptly.

"When I came back, you were already in a relationship, Olivia." Alex said firmly. "And when we saw each other again, you could barely stand the sight of me."

Olivia stopped pacing and faced her. "That's not true!"

"Oh yes, it is. We both know it is, but I understood that, Olivia. I know I hurt you when I stayed away. But it wasn't like I was deliberately trying to hurt you. I was trying to survive. Don't you know that I would do anything in my power to never intentionally hurt you?"

They both stared in silence as the seconds passed before Alex held out a hand pulling Olivia back down to the sofa. Alex gathered her thoughts before she spoke again.

"Olivia, I was a complete mess when I came back from Witsec. I was hanging on by a thread. I also knew you were dealing with your own problems. I didn't want to drag you through that with me. I didn't know who I was. How could I be the Alex you knew when I wasn't sure myself? By the time, I finally had things back on track, I heard you were in a serious relationship. I wanted you, Olivia. I've always wanted you, but I didn't want to interfere in your life if you were happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you… even if it wasn't with me."

"But I wasn't happy?" Olivia lamented.

"And how was I supposed to know that? You didn't **_talk_** to me, Olivia. You were completely shut off. If it wasn't about a case, you barely looked me in the eyes. You kept me at arm's length, but you know what? I understood that. I didn't like it, but if that's what you needed to do in order to be happy, I could accept it. So when I had the chance to go to Africa, I said what the hell. Don't you understand! I thought there was no reason for me to stay."

Alex reached up and wiped a rogue tear that had escaped Olivia's eyes. She cupped her cheek gently. "I can't undo the past, Olivia. I'll admit I have made a lot of mistakes and I've apologized for them. I am so sorry that you got hurt. If I could go back and do things all over again, there are so many things I'd do differently…but I can't! And I can't keep apologizing for the rest of my life. Will you ever _really_ be able to forgive me?"

When Alex didn't receive an answer, she shook her head and sighed. She tried to blink away the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"You know… if I thought it would make everything okay between us, I would go to the office and resign my position with the ICC right now and park my ass right next to you for as long as you needed, but this isn't about my job. This is about you not being able to let go of the past. It's about you not trusting that I know what I want and where I want to be."

She placed a soft kiss on Olivia's forehead before standing. Olivia grabbed her hand. She looked as if she wanted to speak. Alex shook her head sadly.

"Olivia…" She sighed heavily. "I'm exhausted and I haven't slept in three days. I am going home where I plan to crawl into bed and fall asleep. But let me be clear… I am not _leaving._ If you decide that this is what you want and that you really want to be with me…. you know where to find me."

Olivia was left alone in her office staring at the door long after it had closed.

 **TBC**

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I am humbled by the reviews and private messages of encouragement. I know the pacing is still kind of slow so thank you for sticking with me. I'm still fleshing this out, but I know where I want to go with it. Like always, I would love to know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

When Alex awoke Sunday morning, it was nearly noon. She'd stayed in bed practically all weekend avoiding Olivia's calls and drowning her sorrows in a tub of chocolate ice cream and binge watching _Game of Thrones_. It wasn't the most productive way to spend the weekend but she had been able to recharge after being unable to sleep properly for several days. Sitting up in bed, she leaned over and hit the remote to the blinds. She took a moment to take in the breathtaking view. It wasn't often that Alex used money from her trust fund. This penthouse had been her only major splurge. After spending so much time in small spaces in Witsec, the gorgeous panoramic view of the city was well worth every penny she'd paid for it and she didn't feel the least bit guilty about it.

Finally pulling herself out of bed, Alex went into the bathroom to complete her morning ablutions. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were still a little red and puffy and her hair was a mess. She picked up a hair brush and pulled her unruly locks back into a messy ponytail.

After finishing up, Alex slipped on her favorite blue cashmere robe and padded down the hall to the kitchen. She was in desperate need of coffee to shake off the lingering grogginess. Something caused Alex to stop mid-step and take in her surroundings.

 _"That smells like coffee. That couldn't possibly be right."_ She thought. " _I must really be going through withdrawal if I can smell the coffee before I make it."_

Alex glanced around the living room for anything out of the ordinary. Hearing a noise coming from the kitchen, she wondered what type of burglars made coffee before they raided the place. Her old Witsec habits kicked in and her eyes scanned the room for a possible weapon before she heard the familiar voice humming in the other room.

Alex visibly relaxed as she rounded the corner and found her mother sitting at the counter gracefully sipping a cup of coffee.

"Mother?"

"Good morning, darling or should I say afternoon."

Alex continued to stare at the older woman as if she were a stranger.

"Really, Alexandra haven't you ever heard the phrase sleeping your life away?" Caroline Cabot said eyeing her daughter critically from head to toe, obviously unimpressed by her daughter's choice of t-shirt and boxers underneath her robe.

"What are you doing here, Mother?" Alex asked while gratefully accepting the mug Caroline held out to her. "Thanks."

"I can't visit my only daughter simply because I love and adore her?"

Alex raised a brow and waited. Her mother was a terrible liar.

"Alright, Joseph told me that you seemed particularly upset when he drove you home last Friday evening. I just wanted to see if you were alright."

Now more awake, Alex leaned over and placed a proper kiss on her mother's smooth cheek before moving to the refrigerator for bagels. "Thanks for being concerned, but as you can see I'm fine."

Caroline watched her daughter move about the kitchen, placing things in meticulous order. Alex reminded her so much of her late husband with her tall stature and intense concentration. Bagel and cream cheese in hand, Alex sat next to her mother and began munching on her breakfast.

"How was the trip to London, dear?"

"I achieved my objective." Alex responded vaguely. She never liked discussing work too much with her mother, especially when dealing with war crimes and terrorism. Alex felt that her mother had suffered enough because of her choice of occupations.

"So it wasn't work that had you upset?"

"Joseph worries too much, mother, so do you as a matter of fact. It was just a long flight." Alex said trying to avoid her mother's gaze.

Caroline's matching blue eyes drilled into her daughters. Very few people knew that Alex had learned her famous courtroom glare from the woman in front of her. Although Alex was a few inches taller, she was nearly a carbon copy of Caroline Cabot. The only other difference was the shade of blue of their eyes. Caroline's were lighter which gave them an icy quality when they were trained on you. The older woman also knew that Alex was just as terrible of a liar as she.

"Okay, I just… I've been distracted. I've had something on my mind the last few days and I was unable to sleep." Alex admitted.

Caroline smirked. She still had it. "Anything I can help you with?"

"No. I'm fine, Mother. Really. It's not a big deal." _If being heartbroken is no big deal._ She thought to herself.

"Hmm. Does this distraction involve the ' _someone_ ' who sent those?" The older blonde asked tilting her head in the direction of the dining room off to the side.

Alex followed her gaze and blinked at the gorgeous vase of two dozen roses sitting on the table. "When did those come?"

"They were being delivered as I was opening the door. I didn't think you'd mind if I signed for them."

Alex flushed. "Was there… Do you know who sent them?"

Caroline hid a grin behind the mug she brought to her lips. Her daughter knew she had a tendency to snoop. "Now, how would I know that, dear?"

Alex gave her mother another knowing look.

Caroline laughed softly. "No, I don't know who sent them. I refrained from reading the card. I promised you that I would respect your privacy and boundaries."

"Yet, here you are sitting in my kitchen this morning uninvited. That key was given to you for emergencies, Mother."

"Small victories, darling. Rome was not built in a day." Caroline said waving a lazy hand.

Alex shook her head and moved to the other room. She ran her fingers over the red blooms. They really were gorgeous roses. Nestled in the middle was a small white envelope. She flicked it opened and read the card.

 _'I may be an ass, but I'm not stupid._

 _I refuse to let you slip through my fingers again._

 _Please forgive me._

 _Love, O'_

Caroline watched the small smile flourish into a full blown grin on her daughter's face. She looked completely transformed. Caroline didn't know who had sent those flowers, but she was thankful for them. She'd seen her daughter go through more heartbreak than she cared to witness over the last few years. Caroline had one wish for her daughter; that Alex would find someone who loved and cherished her as she deserved. If Alex's smile was any indication, her wish may have finally been granted.

"They have impeccable taste." Caroline said placing her empty mug in the sink.

Alex caught her mother's pronoun usage and smirked. Though they had never really discussed Alex's sexuality, Caroline had always seemed to know of Alex's attraction to the fairer sex and been fine with it. It was moments like this that made Alex remember how lucky she was to have a mother like Caroline Cabot.

"The roses are beautiful aren't they?" Alex muttered as she admired the roses again.

Caroline watched her for a moment then walked over. She lifted up on the tips of her toes and placed a quick kiss on her daughter's forehead. "I'm meeting Miranda for a late lunch and you know how testy she can be if I'm late. She might actually fire her entire staff, so I'm off. And I wasn't talking about the flowers, darling. I meant they have impeccable taste in people." Caroline said with a wink before walking out.

Alex shook her head and smiled as she watched the older woman float out of the room.

Olivia was busy packing the last of Noah's items into the travel diaper bag when the phone rang. She ran her fingers through his thick brown hair as she passed the playpen.

"Benson."

"Do you always answer your phone as if you're working?" Came a smooth alto response.

Olivia's heart fluttered and she took a nervous breath. "And how do you know I'm not working?"

"Because it's Sunday and I happen to know that you try to spend your weekend's home with your son."

Olivia narrowed her eyes and smiled into the phone. "And exactly how did you come across this particular piece of information, Counselor?"

There was a pause and Olivia knew Alex was probably blushing.

"I can't divulge my sources, but you should know that I always do my homework."

"Which means you called the precinct and Fin told you."

Alex's soft laughter came through the phone. It made Olivia's heart flutter again. "You got me."

A long moment of silence passed. "Do I?" Olivia asked softly.

"Liv…" Alex sighed and paused. "I got the flowers. They're beautiful. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Listen, about the other night…"

"Noah wants me to ask you to join us at the park." Olivia hastily interrupted.

"What?" Alex asked confused by the abrupt change of subject.

"Noah just told me to ask you to come have a late lunch with us at the park.

Alex smiled. "Oh he did, did he?"

"Yes, he did."

"Olivia, your son is a toddler. Although impressive, I don't think his vocabulary is _that_ advanced yet."

Olivia chuckled. "Hey, my son is highly intelligent for his age. He's practically a genius."

The blonde laughed. Olivia smiled knowing she'd gotten the reaction she was hoping for. "So… what should I tell him? He's waiting for your answer?"

Alex sighed. "Tell Noah that I accept his invitation and…" Her voice softened. "I can't wait to see him."

Olivia swallowed. "Good. We usually find a spot near the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park."

"Okay. See you soon."

Alex walked leisurely around the fountain looking over the green grass until her eyes fell on two familiar figures in the distance. Sitting on a large colorful blanket among a plethora of toys was her favorite officer with the cutest toddler in the park. She smiled as she watched the tough Sergeant playing peak-a-boo with the giggling boy. She could recall the times she'd witnessed Olivia with young children over the years. The woman always had a special connection with them. Those broken children always saw something in Olivia that drew them in and made them feel safe. It was nice to finally see the older woman playing and being carefree with a child other than because they were involved in a case. The joy she saw on Olivia's face was a look of pure bliss; the kind of look only your own child could cause.

Olivia noticed a shift in her son's attention as he turned and grinned. She followed his gaze and saw Alex making her way towards them wearing a pair of dark jeans and a maroon Harvard t-shirt. Olivia couldn't hide her surprise when she panned down and saw the blue and white All-Star Chuck Taylors on the blonde's feet. With her hair in a loose pony-tail and those signature black frames, the attorney looked much younger than usual.

They both stared at one another, neither sure how to proceed. Olivia decided to forget the elephant between them for the time being.

"Nice outfit, Counselor."

"Well I couldn't wear a suit to the park." Alex said looking down at them. "I'm afraid to ask where you found a NYPD t-shirt that small." Alex said eyeing the matching blue and gold t-shirts Olivia and her son were sporting.

"I have my ways." Olivia said. "Would you like to sit down? I thought maybe we could have some lunch first then talk… if that's okay?" She held her hand up offering the blonde a hand to sit.

Alex stared at her outstretched hand for a few moments before taking it. She sat down on the blanket and crossed her legs out in front of her. Noah, instantly interested in their new visitor, tottered over and into her lap. Olivia laughed.

"I can't believe how easily he's taken to you. I'm beginning to think my son is experiencing his first crush."

Alex kept her eyes on Noah as she tickled his belly. "He's a little too young for a crush don't you think?"

"Oh, I don't know. I can remember having crushes when I was really young."

Alex looked up at her with expectation. "Is that so?"

Unable to stop herself, Olivia reached out and tucked a loose blonde lock that had blown free from the gentle breeze back into place. Alex's eyes fluttered before they met brown. Olivia stared into impossibly blue eyes and sighed. "Yeah. I've had a few but the biggest one happened years ago when this smoking hot blonde walked into the precinct and sat on my desk. I took one look into those baby blues and I was a total goner."

Alex blushed at Olivia's blatant flirting. She tried to smother a smile and looked away. Olivia suddenly felt a little more confident.

Noah's little hand grabbed a fist full of black frames and pulled them free of Alex's face. "Mine!" He said with a giggle.

They both laughed and gently removed them from his grasp. "No. Not yours. These belong to Alex." She said pointing to the blonde. "Can you say Alex?" Olivia asked as she polished the glasses on her shirt.

Noah smiled. "Ayesh!"

"Yes. Alex. Good job, buddy!"

Alex felt her heart melt.

"I should have warned you about that. He's kind of handsy." Olivia said placing the black frames back on the blonde's face.

Alex smirked. "So he **_is_** like his mother."

"Hey, I take offense to that remark." Olivia blushed and said with a chuckle. "Besides, how would you even know?"

Never one to back down from a challenge, Alex took the bait. "If I recall correctly, you got a little handsy with me a week ago."

"I didn't hear any complaints."

"Oh, there were definitely **_no_** complaints." Alex said flirtatiously. "I've always been fond of a more hands on approach."

Olivia's eyes shifted to the perfect pink lips in front of her. "If you expect me to behave, you can't talk to me in that voice, Alex."

Alex flashed a perfect smile, pleased that she had gotten a little payback. "Alright, I'll let you off the hook but only because I am here at the request of this dashing young man. Isn't that right, Noah? So where is this lunch I was promised."

Noah giggled before he wiggled out of her grasp and moved away in search of the toy that had caught his eye. Olivia shifted her leg to make sure he stayed on the blanket between them.

"Since his lunch involves soft food and applesauce, I figured you'd prefer something for a more mature palate." Olivia said opening the basket and removing their lunch which turned out to be delicious sandwiches and dessert from Faicco's.

"Oh my god, you remembered!" Alex whispered with delight.

"Of course I did. This was our standing lunch location. You used to love that place."

Alex took a moment to enjoy her club sandwich. She wiped her mouth with her napkin then turned to Olivia. "I'm going to admit something kind of embarrassing but you have to promise not to laugh."

"Promise."

"I… I used to turn down every lunch invitation I received just in case you called. I think the people in my office thought I was on a constant diet or anorexic."

Olivia was surprised. "Really?"

Alex blushed and nodded. "I kind of had it pretty bad for you."

Olivia looked at her shyly. "Since we're admitting things… I… used to make up reasons to come to your office…like…every day."

Alex looked at her skeptically.

"No, really I did! I would also volunteer whenever Cragen needed someone to deliver something to you. I'm surprised you never noticed that I was the only one that ever came to your office. I had it bad for you too."

They smiled shyly at each other as they ate their lunches, quietly watching little Noah and the park scenery. Once they had eaten their fill, Olivia knew it was time to face the music.

"I owe you an apology, Alex."

Alex put her food aside and waited silently.

Olivia bit her lip nervously. "You were right. I was avoiding you because a part of me hadn't forgiven you. I should have talked to you about how I was feeling instead of just avoiding you. "

"Olivia, I…"

"Just let me finish okay."

Alex nodded silently.

"You were right. I was still angry at you, but I know now that I can't keep holding this grudge against you. Bad things happen and they happened to both of us… mostly you. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to have my life uprooted like that and have to start all over. You did what you had to do to survive and when I think about it, it reminds me how strong you really are. I mean…if it were me I'd probably be in a corner somewhere drawing on the wall with crayons."

Alex snorted.

"I didn't even realize it, but I've been angry at you for so long that I didn't know how to let those feelings go. I didn't trust that this time things would be different… that you'd be different."

Alex nodded. "I suppose my actions the last few years didn't give you much to have faith in.

"No, you were just trying to put your life back together." Olivia paused. "I did a lot of thinking this weekend about us and I realized that I was just so happy to hear you say you that you returned my feelings that I forgot about all the years of baggage between us. We've both grown and changed. We're different people now. I know we can't just go on like nothing happened."

"No we can't." Alex agreed.

"But we can try to build something new together."

Alex studied the brunette for a moment. "Can you do that? Can you trust me… the person that I am today?"

"I promised myself that I would be totally honest with you no matter what so… I can't lie and say that I completely trust you now, Alex."

"Okay."

Seeing disappointment appearing on the blonde's face, Olivia pushed forward.

"But I'm going to anyway. I'm going to trust you with my heart because I can't keep living in the past and wondering when the other shoe will drop. I don't want to live like that anymore. I don't want to teach my son to live that way. I want us to have a real chance at something."

"So no more running?" Alex asked skeptically.

"No more running. I… Can I just ask one thing?" Olivia said hesitantly.

"Of course."

She was trying unsuccessfully to keep her tears at bay. "Please take care of it… my heart. It's been beat up a lot and I don't know how much more it could take."

Alex leaned over and cupped Olivia's cheek tenderly wiping the tears away with her thumbs. Her own eyes were filled to the brim with unshed tears. "Oh dear heart, I will cherish and guard it with my life."

"I never meant to hurt you, Alex. I'm sorry if I did."

"I'm sorry too."

The kiss that followed was filled with promise and hopefulness. It was beautiful. A cheerful giggle forced them to pull away. Olivia and Alex smiled at the clapping toddler pointing at them.

"Looks like I have his blessing." Alex said. She held out her hands and was beyond thrilled when he tottered over to her again.

"So… I um was wondering…"

Alex noticed the hesitation in the other woman's voice and turned her attention away from Noah to Olivia. She frowned slightly when she saw her twisting her fingers nervously.

"… you know if you're free that is… I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tomorrow."

Alex was utterly charmed. "Of course, I'd love to have dinner with you two. I'm sure I can move some things around so Noah won't be out too late or we could stay in."

Olivia laughed. "Umm… I'm very glad you enjoy spending time with my son. That means a lot to me, but that wasn't really what I had in mind.

"Oh… Oh! You mean…"

"I was kind of hoping we could have dinner somewhere where a sippy cup or colored placemats weren't involved." Olivia leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Alex's lips. "Maybe somewhere with good wine… dancing perhaps. I've always dreamed of being your dance partner."

Alex swooned. "That sounds wonderful."

"Good. It's a date then?"

"Yes it is."

 **TBC**

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

Olivia gave her name and ID to the doorman at the Alex's apartment. She could have just flashed her badge, but she didn't want to do that. This was a date, not work. She snorted at the obvious upscale surroundings as she stepped into the elevator. Once she reached the top level, the shiny steel doors opened. Glancing around, Olivia saw that there were only two penthouses that took up the entire top floor.

She found PH 50 and pressed the doorbell. When the door opened, a beautiful vision came into view.

"Hi." Alex said with a bright smile.

Olivia's eyes moved over the image before her. Alex looked stunning in a royal blue strapless silk sheath with matching stilettos that made her legs go on for days. Her hair was swept up in an intricate French twist with a few loose curls framing her face. The diamond studs, which Olivia knew were probably real, sparkled in her ears.

'Ok, I might be a little out of my league here.' Olivia swallowed hard. "Hi. You look… beautiful, Alex."

"Thank you. So do you." Alex said stepping aside. "Please come in. I just need to get my purse."

Alex took her own opportunity to appraise the brunette as she passed. Olivia was wearing a cream fitted knee length dress with a plunging neckline that hugged over those delicious curves. Her hair was curled in loose waves. Alex's mouth watered at the impressive cleavage on display.

Olivia turned and saw the blonde's open appreciation of her body and grinned.

"See something you like, Counselor?"

"You know I do. I'm going to go get my purse before I lose my restraint and make us late." Alex said hurrying off down the hall.

While alone, Olivia let out a low whistle a she took in the sweeping floor-to-ceiling glass views, high intricate ceilings, and classy decor. It looked like something out of one of those real-estate modern design magazines. Olivia didn't even want to think about the price tag on a place like this.

She heard the clicking of Alex's heels against the hard wood floors coming down the hall. "I love your place. It's pretty amazing."

"Oh, thanks." Alex shrugged adorably. "It's home."

Olivia always found it interesting how Alex seemed to be a little embarrassed by her wealth.

"That's an incredible view."

Alex took in the view with Olivia. "When I was in Witness Protection, every place I lived seemed so claustrophobic. Every place I lived tended to be very small so it could be monitored easily and the marshals made sure there were limited amount of windows to reduce possible threats."

Olivia felt a sense of sadness come over her for a moment. She couldn't imagine how difficult it would be to have your life restricted in such a way. Something as simple as the number of windows could not be taken for granted. Alex's voice pulled her out of her inner thoughts.

"When I came home, I just craved openness and space. I never wanted to feel that sense of confinement again. So, when my realtor showed me this place, I knew it was much too big for just me but I couldn't help myself. I was instantly sold just because of this view alone."

"It is breathtaking. It must be nice to wake up looking at that every morning."

Alex gave Olivia a lingering look. "I could think of a few other things that would be just as nice."

And just like that, the carnal tension between them was back. Alex cleared her throat and stepped back. "So, where is Noah this evening?"

"He is having a date of his own tonight. He and his nanny Lucy have a date with a couple of Disney movies and a bedtime story." Olivia said playfully.

"Wow. Sounds like fun. You can't go wrong with a cute guy and a Disney movie."

"Should I be jealous?"

Alex chuckled. "Maybe you should. He's quite handsome, you know."

"That he is." Olivia laughed. "Come on Cabot. We should probably go if we're going to make our reservations."

"Lead the way, Sergeant."

* * *

Dinner was a romantic table for two in a secluded corner at one of Olivia's favorite Italian restaurants. Olivia was obviously well-known by the owner who came out to greet her personally. Alex watched with curiosity as Olivia and the older gentleman conversed in his native language.

"Carlos, I'd like you to meet Alexandra Cabot. Alex, this is a Carlos Maltova."

Alex was charmed as the older gentlemen kissed her hand. "So lovely to meet you, Ms. Cabot. Any friend of Ms. Olivia's is a guest of honor here. Enjoy!"

"I'm sure I will. Thank you."

Alex turned back to Olivia after the owner took his leave. "I take it you know him well?"

Olivia nodded. "Carlos' daughter was involved in a case I handled a few years ago. She had a rough go of it for a while but finally got her life back. I kept in touch, just checking in to see how the family was doing." Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "Carlos makes sure I have a standing reservation whenever I want one."

Alex shook her head. "You are something else, you know that?"

Olivia frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Not many people keep track of the victims like you do. Once the case is over, most people just move on. That's what makes you different, Olivia. You really care about the victims and their families and they remember that."

Olivia blushed at the compliment and brushed it off. "It's not a big deal. You do that too. I heard about the Cabot Foundation starting a scholarship in Sam Cavanaugh's name. I know that had to be your doing. You should know that his mother really appreciated it. I speak with her from time to time."

Alex shook her head. "It's not the same. Sometimes I think it was out of guilt. That case still gets to me sometimes."

Olivia nodded in understanding. "Maybe. Maybe not. At the end of the day all that matters is that you do something."

An hour later, the couple said their goodbye's to Carlos and stepped out into the New York air. They were both buzzing nicely from the delicious food and flowing wine. Olivia smiled when she felt Alex slip her arm through hers as they strolled down the sidewalk.

"Would you like to get a cab or walk for a bit? Our next stop is only a few blocks away."

Alex bit her lip. "And where is this next stop?"

Olivia just batted her eyes at her obviously not willing to tell.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Fine. Don't tell me. Let's just walk. It feels good out tonight."

Olivia kissed the back of her hand and Alex swooned. "I promise you'll like it."

"I guess I'm going to have to trust you."

"Yes, you are."

And Alex did like the jazz club they ended up in. The music was perfect for slow dancing. Alex had never felt more content than she did the moment her favorite sergeant pulled her into her arms and lead them around the floor.

"You move like a dancer. I suspect there were many ballet lessons in your past." Olivia whispered in the ear next to her mouth.

"My mother would be very proud." Alex said as she ran her fingers along the base of Olivia's neck. "You're very perceptive. Anyone ever tell you that?"

"A detective's gut instinct remember?" Olivia chuckled. "Although I was once told by a certain esteemed assistant district attorney just where I could stick that gut instinct."

Alex had the good grace to blush. "I really was an insufferable ass wasn't I?"

Olivia pulled her closer and kissed her neck. "I plead the fifth. I don't want to incriminate myself before we get to the good part."

Alex pulled back to meet Olivia's eyes. "I thought this was the good part."

Brown eyes were so smoldering, Alex nearly missed a step. "Oh sweetheart, we haven't even got started yet.

After leaving the club, they strolled along the New York streets just enjoying the late night breeze. They held hands and talked about everything from their jobs to their families and childhood memories. Nothing seemed off limits.

"So, tell me something I don't know about you." Alex said.

Olivia chuckled. "We've know each other for over a decade, Alex. I can't imagine that there is anything you don't already know."

Alex scoffed. "Are you serious? You are the most mysterious person I've ever met, Olivia Benson. Now come on, pony up and make it good."

Olivia sighed and thought for a moment. "I paint."

"You mean like… water painting with Noah or…"

"Ha, Ha." Olivia said bumping the blonde's shoulder. "No, I mean… like serious painting."

Alex blinked at her. "Wow. I had no idea."

"When I was about thirteen, my mom stuck me in these art classes one summer when she needed to keep me occupied. I thought I would hate it, but it turned out to be a lot of fun so I kept going. One summer class turned into several years of classes. I got pretty good at it. I actually thought of pursuing it as a career before I set my mind on becoming a cop."

"Really? I thought you always wanted to be a cop."

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I did, but painting was also something I was passionate about. I considered it, but law enforcement won out in the end."

"Do you still paint?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes. I don't have as much time as I used to, especially now that I have Noah but I try to make time. It's a good way to relax and deal with stress."

"Can I see some of you work one day?"

"You already have."

Alex looked confused.

"The paintings in my living room are mine."

Alex's eyes widened. "Olivia, I've always loved those. They're gorgeous! Why didn't you ever say anything when I asked about the artist?

Olivia shrugged. "Painting is a personal thing for me. It's not about getting recognition. It was always a way to keep me sane."

"Wow. Thank you for sharing that with me." Alex said sincerely.

Olivia blushed and looked away. "So, it's your turn. Tell me something that I don't know about Alexandra Cabot."

"My middle name is Reese."

"Oh come on. I already knew that."

"How? I never told you that."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'm a cop, Alex. I did a background check on you the first day you walked into the precinct."

"I hope you know that's against the law." Alex said haughtily.

Olivia simply gave her an impatient look. "Stop stalling, Cabot."

"Okay, let me think." She bit her lip and tried to recall all the conversations they'd had over the last decade. "Umm… I have a black belt in Karate."

Olivia was genuinely surprised. "Now I know you're pulling my leg. There's no way!"

Alex pretended to be offended. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Well… you're so… so…"

"Careful." Alex warned.

Olivia giggled. "What I mean is you're so… delicate and… girly."

Alex stopped them mid step and raised a brow. "Did you just call me girly?"

Olivia held up her hands. "It was meant as a compliment. I happen to like your… girly…ness."

"First of all, that is not even a word." Alex smirked wickedly. Before Olivia knew what was happening, the blonde had maneuvered her into a complex arm hold immediately rendering Olivia incapacitated. Unable to move, Olivia was surprised by the strength she felt from Alex's arms.

"Secondly, I'm very disappointed in you, Sergeant. You of all people should know better than to stereotype." She whispered into Olivia's ear causing her to shiver.

"Okay. Okay. I believe you. You can let me go now."

Alex laughed and gently released Olivia's arms. Olivia turned and stared at her. "That was incredibly hot."

Alex smiled. "You think so huh?"

"Absolutely. Remind me to never piss you off." They moved back into their original positions and continued their walk. Olivia laughed out of the blue.

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking about all the times you said you'd kick someone's ass. I never knew you could actually do it."

"It would serve you well to remember that, Benson."

Olivia just laughed. "Not that I'm stereotyping again, but how did that come about?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "I needed something to do while I was in the middle of nowhere."

Olivia tilted her head. "Witsec?"

Alex nodded. "I thought I was signing up for a self-defense class. It just seemed like a good idea considering my circumstance. It turned out to be martial arts. I liked it so I kept it up even after I came back. I earned my black belt last year."

"Wow. I'm impressed. Maybe you could teach me a few things sometime."

Alex blushed. "Maybe."

The conversation and questions continued as they walked the streets of the city. Before long, it was nearing midnight when Olivia escorted Alex to her door.

Alex turned, suddenly shy. "Would you like to come in?"

The word yes was on the tip of Olivia's tongue, but she shook her head. "Maybe next time."

Alex nodded feeling a little disappointed. Olivia lifted her chin. "It's not that I don't want to. I do, but I want to do this right. We both deserve… not to be…rushed. I don't… want to rush this. I hope that doesn't make me sound terribly stupid."

Alex caressed the tanned cheek gently. "How is it that no one has snatched you up yet?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders charmingly. "I was a lost cause. I already belonged to someone else."

Alex stared at her intently. "I hope this someone knows just how lucky she is."

Olivia closed the distance between them backing Alex up against the door. "I think we're both extremely lucky."

Olivia cupped Alex's face in her hands before capturing the blonde's lips with her own. Alex moaned as the brunette's tongue mapped out the contours of her mouth. She felt a rush of blood through her body making her head spin. It was as if all the longing built up over the years resurfaced in that one kiss. Olivia's fingers danced along Alex's delicate neck while her other hand snaked around the other woman's slender waist, pulling her even closer. Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's strong back hanging on for dear life.

Olivia slowly pulled back allowing their foreheads to rest together. She whimpered as the blonde's lips found her earlobe and bit down. Taking a deep breath, she peppered soft kisses along Alex's neck and cheek trying to slow things down.

Olivia whispered raggedly very mindful of the pulsing between her thighs. "You're not making this easy for me, Counselor."

Alex withdrew a little, sliding her hands up and over Olivia's smooth shoulders. She ran a finger along the brunette's cleavage, smiling when it elicited a shiver. "Can't have you forgetting what's waiting for you."

Olivia forced herself to step back. "Trust me. I could never forget that." She cleared her throat. "Okay… I'm going to go now."

Alex gave Olivia a sexy grin and the brunette stumbled slightly. "Are you sure you don't want to come in?"

Olivia groaned pitifully as Alex tugged at her hand. "You're an evil woman, Cabot."

Alex's lips pouted slightly. Olivia couldn't help but place a kiss on them. "Okay. I'm really leaving this time."

Alex decided to let her off the hook. "I had a lovely time, Olivia. Thank you."

"I did too. Good night, Counselor."

"Good night, Sergeant."

 **TBC**

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than usual. Life decided to kick me in the behind this week leaving me with very little time to write. I hope to have more to update soon. Thanks for those you who are still interested. Like always, let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

As fate would have it, Olivia didn't get the chance to go home and relive her favorite moments from the wonderful date she'd had with Alex. Almost as soon as she'd walked through the door, she'd gotten called out to a scene. Now that she was commanding officer, Olivia didn't have to go out in the field as much as she used to. She wore a different hat these days which kept her behind a desk more often than not which is why Olivia was curious as to why her presence had been requested. However, when the meticulous Dr. Melinda Warner asked that you personally report to a scene, you knew there had to be a good reason for it.

Olivia took a quick sweep of the perimeter as she stepped out of the car. She saw several crime scene technicians milling about taking photos and collecting potential evidence. Fin and Rollins were questioning an older gentleman nearby. In her opinion, everything looked under control.

As Olivia moved closer, she cringed slightly at the familiar repugnant smell of death. It was a smell that permeated your senses; a smell she would never be able to erase from her memory.

As she reached the restricted area, Olivia caught the lingering look the young uniformed officer was giving her. It took her a moment to remember that she hadn't changed out of her dress from her date with Alex. Olivia gave him a stern look causing him to turn a deep shade of red and lower his eyes. He quickly lifted the yellow tape for her.

"Hey Melinda."

The ME was still making notes on a clipboard. "Olivia." She greeted without looking up.

Waiting for a response but getting nothing in return, Olivia asked impatiently, "Are you going to tell me what we got or what?"

Melinda finally looked up and raised a reprimanding brow. Olivia's demeanor immediately softened. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong. This just isn't how I expected my night to end."

Melinda cracked a smile as she finally took in her friend's attire. "Wow. Hot date?"

Olivia couldn't hide the blush that crept up along her neck and cheeks. She coughed and glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot. "Probably the hottest ever."

Melinda turned and gave the other woman her undivided attention. She crossed her arms and stared at her for a moment. "Do I know him?" Melinda asked silently praying it wasn't Brian Cassidy or old man Tucker who had started sniffing around her friend. She'd known Olivia a long time and they had grown close over the years. Melinda simply could not understand what her friend saw in those men.

"Maybe." Olivia said vaguely.

"And?"

"And what?" Olivia shrugged.

"You're not going to tell me?" Melinda said gesturing for Olivia to follow her.

"I haven't really discussed telling people… with her yet." Olivia mumbled.

Melinda paused and turned. "Her? Now the only 'her' that I've ever seen you look like a lovesick school girl over was…"

Olivia blushed and looked down at the ground.

Melinda grinned. "Well, you know I won't say anything. But I will say this… it's about damn time."

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." Olivia waved the other woman off already growing uncomfortable with the current topic. "Look, can you just tell me why you personally requested that I come down here now?"

The ME ignored her testy friend and kneeled down next to the covered body. She pulled back the sheet bringing a young blonde woman into view.

Olivia winced. The woman looked young and beautiful.

"Meet Annabeth Chambers, multiple stab wounds to the abdominal area, and a severed aorta."

Olivia sighed. Young children and women were the worst victims to see. "I'm assuming there's signs of sexual assault?"

Melinda shook her head. "I haven't seen any obvious signs yet. I'll know more when I get her back to the lab."

Olivia frowned. "Then why not just call homicide? This looks like their territory. Why call Special Victims?"

"Because I think this would definitely make her special." Melinda said using her gloved hand to peel back the victim's blouse.

Olivia's eyes widened. "What the hell is that? Are those letters?"

Melinda nodded as she pulled the blouse further back.

"A… R… M… A…." Olivia kneeled down and squinted at the letters burned into the white flesh. "Arma? What the hell is arma?"

"It's not arma." She pointed to the large K burned along the victim's thigh. "I think your killer was spelling the word Karma."

Olivia ran her hand through her hair. "Karma?"

"There's more."

Olivia stood placing her hands on her hips in both anger and frustration. "What more can there be? God, look what this monster did to her."

Melinda placed the sheet back over the body and stood. She called one of her technicians over and held her hand out. He placed a plastic evidence bag into her hand. She held it out to Olivia.

"I also found this on the body."

Olivia took the bag. It was a simple white business card. It had a marking written in what appeared to be calligraphy on the back.

"I studied traditional calligraphy is college as an elective. That marking represents the number one." Melinda said quietly.

Olivia looked up and met the ME's eyes. "And when you say on the body, it was…"

"It was lying on her chest. Your killer obviously placed it there."

"Because this was his first victim… which means there will be more."

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Hey guys, here is the next chapter. I know it's not that long but job has me super busy lately. I'll try to update as often as I can though. Thanks for reading and remember to let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU and characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

"Have we made any headway with the Chambers family?" Olivia asked as she began the morning briefing.

She glanced around at her exhausted detectives. They had all worked through the night processing the scene and getting statements from the security guards who discovered the body. They looked like a tired, sad little bunch.

"Rollins and Carisi went to the family residence first thing this morning to do a notification. They agreed to come down for an interview later today when Mrs. Chambers is more alert. Rollins said she was so distraught a doctor had to sedate her." Fin said pulling a few recent photos of Annabeth Chambers up on the screen.

Olivia looked at the girl. She looked like a typical college student. Olivia shook her head sadly. "The ME puts time of death between the hours of six and ten last night. The parents have an alibi for that time?"

Amaro nodded. "They have a dinner with their friends at the country club once a month. The club manager verified that they were there for dinner and drinks. He says the Chambers didn't leave until well after ten."

"What about a boyfriend? Did she have one?" Olivia asked.

"Don't know yet. We're tracking down some of her friends to see if they know anything."

"Good." She turned to Amaro. "Were you able to find anything from cold cases connected to the mutilation on the body?"

"Nothing's popped up yet. They'll still looking into it."

Olivia nodded. "Okay. It's a start. Let me know when the Chambers get here for their interview."

"Will do."

* * *

Olivia watched from the other side of the glass in her office as Rollins and Carisi questioned the parents of their victim. The father looked as if he was trying to remain stoic while the mother simply looked dazed. In all the years of doing this job, Olivia didn't think she'd ever get used to seeing that kind of devastation.

"When was the last time you spoke with your daughter?" Carisi asked softly.

Mr. Chambers cleared his throat. "It was two days ago. She called to apologize for missing our weekly dinner."

"You have a weekly dinner? I thought she lived with you." Rollins asked trying to keep him talking.

"She does… did. When Annabeth started college, she moved into the mother-in-law suite of our home. That way she could have her own place and privacy and her mother and I could still have her nearby. She would live there with no interference from us as long as she attended family dinner once a week. That was our deal… and it worked." He smiled fondly. "She rarely missed dinner. If she did, she would always call."

"Did your daughter say why she was missing dinner? Was she meeting someone, a date maybe?" Carisi asked.

Mr. Chambers shook his head. "No. She said she was going to a study group at the library."

Rollins perked up. "Do you know any of the other students from the study group?"

"I only know one. Her best friend Julie VanAdams. I remember Annabeth said Julie would be there."

"Okay." Rollins said writing down the name. "I hate to have to ask this, but do you have any idea who would want to hurt your daughter?"

Mrs. Chambers, who had been silent the entire time, finally let out a soft sob. Mr. Chambers quickly pulled the shaking woman into his arms. He looked at Rollins with red laced eyes. "No. My Annabeth was a kind soul. She was a good girl. I don't know why anyone would do this."

Rollins and Carisi looked at the grieving parents with sympathetic eyes. Rollins glanced up at the mirror knowing Olivia would be watching from the other side. She subtly shook her head. Olivia switched the speaker off and closed the blinds, cutting herself off from the grieving parents behind the glass.

Olivia dropped her head and pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily trying to stave off a headache.

"Looks like you could use one of these."

Olivia jumped slightly and turned towards the door. She saw Alex standing there holding a bag and coffee. She was dressed for court, obviously on her way into work herself.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Well when you texted me about catching a new case last night, I figured you and the guys would work through the night and be exhausted by now. I left their breakfasts and coffees on their desks." Alex said approaching.

"That's very sweet of you. I know they'll appreciate it." Olivia stepped forward and placed a soft kiss on Alex's cheek. "Thank you." She said accepting the coffee.

Moving over to the sofa, they sat down. Alex began taking out breakfast which turned out to be warm bagels and fruit.

"I really appreciate you doing this, but I'm really not that hungry." Olivia said tiredly. "I think this case is going to spoil my appetite for a while to come."

Alex ignored her and passed her a container of fruit and a plastic fork. Olivia just smirked and began to eat.

"So I take the scene was a bad one?" Alex asked after a few moments of silence.

Olivia finished the fruit and put the container aside. "Just when I think I've seen everything the sick and perverted in this city can do, they prove me wrong."

Alex looked at Olivia with caring eyes. She reached out and intertwined their fingers together. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't kill and mutilate that girl."

"I just hate seeing you so stressed."

"Well, it turns out I've found something that is very good at reducing my stress." Olivia said lifting Alex's hand to her lips.

"Is that so? And what would this new stress reducer be?" Alex said leaning in.

Olivia followed with a smile. "You." She said meeting Alex halfway bringing their lips together in a soft kiss.

The kiss was just as passionate as the kiss they'd shared the night before. A soft moan escaped Olivia's lips as she brought her hand up cupping the back of Olivia's head bringing her even closer.

A soft cough from across the room made them pull apart. They both turned to see a blushing Nick Amaro poking his head around the corner.

"Uh… sorry to… ah… interrupt… but…" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "I was just letting you know that Fin and I tracked down a few of Annabeth's friends. We're heading over to the campus to question a few of them."

Olivia nodded. "Good. Let me know what you find out."

Alex who had been hiding her own blushing face finally looked up and over at Nick. "Good morning Detective."

"Good morning, Alex. Thank you for the coffee and bagels." He said trying to hide a smirk.

"You're welcome." Alex said before turning back to Olivia. She tilted her head with a slight grin. "I need to get to the office and you obviously have a lot to do. So I'm going to go."

Olivia nodded and helped Alex to her feet. "I'll walk you out."

The squad room was virtually silent as a dozen or more set of eyes watched their sergeant walk their former ADA to the elevator.

"I'm sorry about that. We haven't really talked about if you wanted people to know but I'm sure Nick will be discrete."

Alex cleared her throat and stepped into Olivia's personal space. She was quite aware of the eyes still on her. "Olivia, if I was worried about people knowing, I wouldn't have come down here… and I certainly wouldn't do this."

Olivia didn't have time to react to what happened next. The only thing she could feel was Alex's soft lips against her own for a brief but sensual kiss. She could see the devious twinkle in Alex's blue eyes as she stepped away and into the elevator.

"Have a good day, Sergeant."

"You too, Counselor."

When Olivia turned around, she was met with several smirks and playful eyes. She also could have sworn she saw money being passed between Rollins and Carisi. She rolled her eyes. "Alright. The show's over. We've got work to do."

 **TBC**

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** I apologize for the delay in posting. Work has been crazy. I tried to make this post a little longer to make it up to you guys. I realize the pace is slower than some of my other stories, but I promise that I have a clear idea about where the story is going. Hopefully you guys will hang in there to find out. As always, please leave your thoughts to let me know how I'm doing.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU and characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

Olivia was having the week from hell. She and her team was working around the clock trying to solve the murder of Annabeth Chambers. This case was wearing the entire team down. Sure, there had been cases they had not been able to solve before. Realistically, more cases went unsolved than not. There was just something about this case that had them all unsettled.

The killer had been careful. There was no DNA or trace evidence left behind. All the team had to go on was the word burned into the victim's skin and a card. The entire situation made Olivia frustrated beyond belief. She hated cases like this. With no forensics, witnesses, or leads, the case was at a standstill. Unfortunately, the ball was in the killer's court. They had no chance of solving this case unless the perp reached out or made a mistake, but what a price to pay for a mistake.

With the case in full swing, Olivia barely had time to take a breath, let alone dedicate time to her bourgeoning love life. What little time she had free was spent with Noah. Olivia had been worried that Alex would feel neglected, but the blonde seemed to be taking it all in stride. Alex knew how busy Olivia was and responded with encouraging words whenever the sergeant sent an errant text throughout the week.

 _"Hey beautiful. How's your day? Hopefully better than mine." -O_

 _"Hi. If you don't count being verbally spanked by a panel of diplomats, I'd say my day is looking up. I take it the case isn't going well?" -A_

 _"I don't know if we're going to catch this guy." -O_

 _"I know you will, sweetheart. You'll find something soon." -A_

 _"Glad someone still has faith in me."-O_

 _"I'll always have faith in you."-A_

Alex could tell that Olivia was making the effort to communicate whenever possible. Olivia wasn't running scared anymore and that was more than Alex could hope for.

As the weekend approached and the pace began to slow, Olivia texted Alex to invite her over for dinner with her and Noah. However, that's exactly when Alex's job went into overdrive. The Office of the Prosecutor (OTP) of the ICC finally had sufficient evidence against a group suspected of multiple war crimes and acts of terrorism. Alex and two other prosecutors were set to appear before a panel in the Netherlands to present their request to the Pre-Trial Judges and the hearings that were scheduled for the following week.

Before either of them realized it, nearly three weeks had passed since the women had physically seen each other. It was like fate was conspiring to keep them apart. After spending countless hours in the air, Alex was glad to be standing on home soil even if it was in the middle of a busy airport. When Alex stepped out of JFK, a part of her was hoping her mother had sent Joseph to give her a lift again. What greeted her instead was a thousand times better.

Idling in the fire lane was a 1965 Mustang with the most gorgeous woman leaning casually against it. Alex felt her heart flutter as the brunette removed her aviator shades and flashed a perfect grin. Unconcerned about the people darting around her, Alex stood rooted to the spot as Olivia approached.

"Don't you know people are trying to get around you?"

Alex smirked. "Don't you know that it's a violation to park in the fire lane? You could get a ticket."

Olivia grinned. "Good thing I know a good lawyer to argue my case then. Welcome home, Counselor."

Olivia held her arms open and Alex didn't hesitate to fall into them. She breathed in the familiar mixture of vanilla and lavender.

Alex pulled back and scanned Olivia's face. She cupped Olivia's cheek gently taking note of the shadows around those beautiful brown eyes. "You look tired. I take it there have been no breaks in the case?"

Olivia shook her head and pulled Alex back into a warm embrace. "Nope and I don't want to talk about that right now. I just want to welcome you home."

"I've missed you so much." Alex said leaning in for a gentle kiss.

Olivia moaned. It had been too long since they'd touched… kissed. "God, I've missed you too."

They took a few moments to reacquaint themselves with one another completely ignoring the people still moving around them.

"Come on. Let's get you home." Olivia said quickly relieving Alex of her luggage and leading her towards the car.

"So this is the infamous Mustang I've heard so much about. I was wondering when I'd get a ride."

"I only take it out for special occasions."

"So, what's the occasion?"

"You're home silly. That's special to me. Now, come on. I have a surprise for you back at my apartment."

When they arrived at Olivia's apartment, the sergeant quickly introduced Alex to Lucy before dismissing the nanny for the evening. Alex's surprised turned out to be a fabulous home cooked meal followed by the most sinful chocolate cake Alex had ever tasted. After eating take-out and airline food for over a week, Alex was in heaven.

"If I eat one more bite, I think I might burst. You didn't have to do this, but thank you. I think I really needed that." Alex said leaning back in her chair.

"You're welcome." Olivia laughed as she cleared the dishes. When Alex attempted to help, she was promptly pushed out of the kitchen.

When Olivia joined her a few minutes later, she found Alex sitting on the floor playing traffic jam with Noah. Olivia leaned in the door way and watched this Harvard educated attorney, still dressed in her expensive business attire, making ridiculous crash sounds and talking in animated voices to make her son laugh. She quickly pulled her cell phone out and caught the moment on video. When Alex turned, she sent a playful glare the brunette's way.

"If that ends up on YouTube or Facebook, no one will ever find your body."

Olivia slipped the phone in her back pocket and joined them on the floor. "I don't know. This is good blackmail material."

Alex smirked. "Blackmail huh? And exactly what would you require me to do to keep that off of social media?"

Olivia bit her lip and pretended to think. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe one service for another."

Olivia leaned in and covered the soft lips with her own. It didn't take long for it to grow heated.

"Kish!" Both turned to see Noah blowing kisses with his hand. "Kish!"

Alex was smitten. She blew a kiss back which seemed to satisfy the toddler by his immediate laughter.

The blonde shook her head. "I don't know how, but he somehow inherited your charm."

"So you think I'm charming?"

Alex ran a finger along Olivia's tanned cheek before leaning back in for another kiss. "I find you irresistible, Sergeant Benson."

Olivia smiled. Alex could see that most of the tension she'd seen in the brunette's face was gone now, but she could still see a flash of worry in her eyes.

"You've had cases to go unsolved before. What's bothering you most about this case?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "I thought we weren't going to talk about this tonight?"

"I know it's troubling you. I may not be with SVU anymore, but you can still talk to me."

Olivia sighed heavily. "We have nothing, Alex… and I do mean nothing! This guy was meticulous. He didn't leave behind a single hair, fibers, trace evidence… nothing. It's like he's a freaking ghost."

"You weren't able to find a connection to the burns on the body?"

"No. Revenge for some wrong doing is our best guess but we can't link the victim to anyone. She had no boyfriend or suspicious people in her life. She was an upper class college student living at home with her parents. All we have is a random card that can't be traced back to a single source. Again… we have nothing."

Alex played with Olivia's hand and nodded. "So no strange friends or…"

Olivia shook her head. "This girl was a parent's dream. She was a straight A student in her senior year at Columbia. No wild parties, no experimenting with drugs from what we can tell. She was already applying for grad school."

Alex sighed heavily. "Well, I hate to say it but…"

"I know. I know. He's going to have to make a mistake. Which means… if he really is trying to send a message with that card…there's going to be another victim. We just don't know when."

Alex caressed her cheek. "What can I do?"

Olivia smiled softly and leaned into the touch. "You're here. That's enough. Thanks for letting me get that out."

Alex placed a sweet kiss on Olivia's forehead. "I will always be here to listen, Olivia. Always."

Olivia nodded before glancing over at the clock. "It's past Noah's bedtime. Will you stay… the night?" She asked nervously.

Alex stared at her meaningfully. "Are you sure? I thought…"

"The last couple of weeks, with this case… it's been torture. And being away from you has been just about all that I can bear. I don't care what happens tonight. I just want to be able to hold you and wake up with you here in my arms in the morning. Is that okay?"

Alex softly caressed her cheek. "That is more than okay."

"Good." Olivia smiled. "I'm going to put him to bed. You can go shower or change out of those clothes if you want. I'm sure I have some pajamas that will fit you. Whatever I have is yours."

* * *

Alex looked around Olivia's bedroom. It was almost exactly what she would have imagined. The stark white duvet with brown stripes covering the bed matched perfectly with the matching drapes. The soothing coffee colored walls gave the room an earthy relaxing feel. The room was sparsely decorated with a dark cherry oak dresser and matching night-stands. The only wall decoration was a large canvas painting above the bed. Alex smiled now knowing who the artist was. It was an oil painting of a dirt pathway through a tunnel of trees in autumn. The mixture of yellows and oranges blended in perfectly with the room's earthy hues. The room was the personification of Olivia Benson.

When Alex moved into the bathroom, she shook her head. Everything was white, all the way down to the monogrammed towels. Alex snorted. She was sure no one would have guessed the tough NYPD Sergeant would have towels with her initials on them. Alex quickly undressed and stepped under the warm spray allowing the tensions of the past week to be washed away.

Olivia double checked the monitor by Noah's bed before leaving the room. She heard the shower turn off as she moved into the kitchen and poured them both a glass of wine. She had to admit that she was nervous. Olivia had meant it when she said that it didn't matter what happened tonight, but she still had hope. When she turned and saw Alex leaning in the doorway, Olivia nearly dropped the glasses.

Olivia's eyes devoured the sight before her. She first started at the perfect pink pedicured toes traveling up the sexiest pair of legs she'd ever seen, greedily lingering on the black lace La Perla panties peeking out from underneath an old NYPD t-shirt. Her eyes finally moved up to that gorgeous face with a cascade of golden locks flowing softly and freely about. The _'Glasses of Justice'_ made the package complete and better than any wet dream Olivia had ever had. The sergeant felt her mouth go completely dry.

The tips of the attorney's lips turned up at the edges. Blue eyes twinkled with mischievousness. "Noah all tucked in?"

Olivia nodded dumbly with her mouth still open. "Uh huh."

"Good. Are you ready to tuck me in?"

Olivia swallowed. "Huh?"

Alex smirked sexily. "I asked if you were ready to tuck me in."

Alex sashayed over and took the wine glasses out of Olivia's hands and placed them on the counter. She wrapped her hands around Olivia's jaw pulling her in for a deep sensuous kiss. "I don't think we'll be needing these. Do you?"

Olivia lifted her eyes towards the ceiling and gave thanks to every god known to man as the blonde led her to bed.

* * *

The next morning, Olivia lay on her side and took in the most magnificent sight lying next to her. Alexandra Cabot lay on her stomach with one arm tucked under the pillow while the other hung limply over the side of the bed. Her golden locks were tousled and splayed across her face. Olivia's eyes trailed down perfect ivory skin completely on display since the sheets and duvet had partially fallen away. She ran a gentle finger along the contour of the blonde's back.

Alex shifted. Olivia leaned over and placed soft kisses along her spine until she reached her hips. Alex shivered and moaned before mumbling unintelligently about coffee. Olivia smirked and leaned back to grab the coffee mug she'd retrieved from the kitchen. She carefully held it in front of her and blew over the top. As if on cue, the blonde sniffed the air and slowly began to blink. First one, then two blue eyes opened and focused in her direction.

"And there she is. Good morning beautiful."

Alex stretched like a sleek cat before running a hand through her unruly hair. It was one of the sexiest things Olivia had ever witnessed and she was immediately turned on.

"Is that for me?"

Olivia shivered at Alex's husky sleep laden voice. "It is."

Alex sat up and accepted the mug immediately taking a large gulp. Feeling the morning joe enter her veins, Alex finally felt human. Big blue eyes blinked, slowly becoming more alert. "Good morning."

Olivia openly admired the blonde's nakedness and how her nipples hardened at the chill in the air. "I think I just sailed past good and on to great."

Noticing how the other woman was looking at her, Alex blushed and attempted to pull the sheet up to cover herself.

"You don't have to be shy. You're absolutely gorgeous. Every… single… inch of you." Olivia said leaning in for a thorough morning kiss.

Alex gripped the back of her head and held her in place, allowing the kiss to linger a few seconds longer. "You're not so bad yourself."

"So… um… last night was um…"

Alex grinned at the sergeant's sudden shyness. "Yeah."

The looked at each other before giggling shyly.

Alex gently brushed a few brown locks away from Olivia's eyes before caressing her cheek. "Last night was perfect. You were perfect."

"It's been a long time since… well…" Olivia paused to gather her thoughts. "It's been a long time since being with someone really meant something to me."

Alex watched as the normally stoic officer blushed.

"I'm not saying that spending the night with someone is a casual thing for me. That's not what I'm saying. What I mean is…"

Alex placed her fingers over the brunette's soft lips. "I know what you mean, Olivia. Last night meant something to me too. It meant everything to me.

"I just don't want you to think that I take what happened for granted. Last night wasn't just sex. I'm in love with you, Alex."

Alex gave her a warm smile. "I love it when you say that. I'm in love with you too and..." Alex kissed her lips. "I love making love with you."

Olivia took the mug and placed it aside. "Come here." She said huskily, pulling Alex until the blonde was straddling her. Alex moaned as Olivia placed open mouthed kisses on each breast before making her way up her neck finally finding her mouth. The kiss she gave her had Alex instantly wet and throbbing.

Just as things were heating up, they both heard the baby monitor on the dresser come to life. Soft giggling and Noah's voice rang out. Olivia remained focused on finding the perfect spot for her lips on Alex's body. Alex shivered as Olivia found the soft skin at the base of her throat while her fingers teased her hard nipples. Alex was practically vibrating with need.

"Liv… Noah… what about…?" Alex panted. "Oh god…"

"Shhh… don't worry. I know my son. That's his I'm awake but playing with my toys babble. Trust me. We've got plenty of time."

"Oh good. Remind me to buy him a new car for his birthday." Alex moaned.

Olivia simply laughed as she flipped them over and made her way down her love's body.

* * *

An hour later, Olivia was in the kitchen making breakfast and entertaining Noah while Alex finished up in the shower. She flipped the banana pancakes and smiled to herself as the memories of the previous night and that morning drifted through her mind again. Noah's banging on his high chair brought her out of daydream.

"Alright. Alright. I have your breakfast right here. No need to get pushy, Mister."

Noah giggled and grabbed a piece of banana and shoved it into his mouth.

Olivia laughed. "Doesn't take much to please you does it, buddy?"

"Ayesh!"

Olivia saw Noah looking towards the door. She followed his line of sight and saw the object of both of their affections walking into the kitchen. Olivia grinned as the blonde approached.

"Good morning, Noah."

"Nana!" He said holding out the mushy banana smeared over his fingers.

"Oh, I don't want to take your banana sweetie but thank you for offering." Alex chuckled at the cute toddler before glancing at Olivia. "I wish I had as much energy as him in the morning."

"Oh to be young again." Olivia said as she turned back to the pancakes. She smiled when she felt familiar arms slip around her waist. She tilted her head allowing Alex to place a sweet kiss on her neck.

Alex rested her chin on Olivia's shoulder. "Surely you aren't saying we're old."

Olivia allowed herself to lean back into her lover for a moment letting her fresh scent surround her. "Me maybe, but you not a chance. At least you didn't seem old last night…" She plated the last pancake and switched off the burner before turning in the blonde's arms. She draped her arms over Alex's shoulders and leaned in for a thorough kiss. "…and you certainly seemed energetic this morning."

Alex grinned smugly. "I seem to recall you keeping up rather well."

"Well, I had a good partner."

Olivia was leaning in for another kiss when a cell phone rang out interrupting the moment. Alex cringed. "Sorry. That's mine."

Olivia gave her a quick peck on the lips before releasing her. She placed their plate at the table and poured their coffee as Alex searched through her bag and found her phone. "Cabot."

"Babot!" Noah mimicked.

Alex and Olivia both looked at him stunned. Olivia had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

Alex shook her head and tried to focus on the call. A couple of minutes later, she ended the call.

Olivia saw the change in the blonde's demeanor. "I remember that look. You have your work face on, Counselor."

"I'm so sorry. My boss has called an emergency meeting at the office. I'm not going to be able to stay for breakfast."

Olivia nodded. "Oh, okay."

Alex looked positively bereft. "I'm really sorry, Liv."

Olivia took her hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. "Hey, there is nothing to be sorry about. This is your job. I get that."

Alex looked skeptical. They had made such progress. She didn't want her job to cause problems between them again.

"Really Alex. I'm not going to freak out every time you have to leave. I'm over all of that. It's okay." Olivia said with a warm smile. "Now, you should probably go change because I don't know if my t-shirt and boxers is appropriate attire for a meeting at the UN."

Alex made her way over to where Olivia was standing. She took the brunette's face in her hands and placed a meaningful kiss on her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Wuv u." Noah mimicked.

Alex pulled away and shook her head. She leaned down and placed a kiss on his cheek eliciting a giggle. "You, my boy, are going to be a heartbreaker one day."

Ten minutes later, Alex was dressed in a fresh suit looking every bit the legal eagle. Olivia handed her a to-go cup of coffee and a bag of fruit. "It's not my famous pancakes but you have to eat something."

Alex was touched. She took the coffee and fruit. "Thank you."

"I'll drop your luggage off at your place later. If you're not there, I'll make sure your doorman gets it to you."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to do it. Would you just let me drop my woman's luggage off?"

Alex beamed. "Your woman huh?"

Olivia pulled her close and kissed her. "After last night, you have to ask?"

"I'll be whatever you want as long as I'm yours."

"Good. Now, get out of here before you're late, Counselor."

Alex pouted. "I'll call you later. Maybe we can have dinner."

"Sounds good. You do that."

Alex gave a little wave to Noah. "Bye Noah. See you soon sweetie."

"Bye-Bye!"

Olivia watched the blonde until she disappeared behind the door. She looked at Noah who was looking at the door as well. "I guess it's just you and me, buddy."

Noah blew a raspberry and blinked.

"Yeah, I know the feeling, buddy. I'd rather have Alex here too."

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in posting. The week has been hectic and writing had to take a backseat. I will try to update more frequently the coming week. Please let me know what you think. As always, all mistakes are mine.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

Charlotte Ascott had been missing for a week before her body had been found. Olivia and Fin stared down at the lifeless shell as it lay on the cold slab in the morgue.

"Same MO?"

Melinda nodded and moved around the table. She lifted the white sheet covering the rest of the victim's body and pulled it down to the waist. Olivia flinched. The girl had been stabbed several times along the torso and her throat had been slashed. The  
/same letters found burned into the skin of their first victim were on Charlotte Ascott as well.

"Cause of death?"

"Exsanguination. She would have bled out within minutes." Melinda said emotionless.

"Were the burns made post-mortem? Fin asked.

Melinda shook her head. "Yes." She pointed along the skin around the burns. "See. No blistering. There was no blood moving in the body when these were made."

"At least she didn't have to suffer through that." Olivia said. "What about her other wounds, those post-mortem too?"

"From what I can tell they were. You should also know that there was a card. I have the lab running test for possible trace evidence and DNA."

Olivia stared at the young woman's face. A shiver went through her. She felt unsettled and didn't know why. "What did the card have on it?"

Melinda gave them both a steady look. "Two."

* * *

Alex tapped her pen as she stared out of her office window. A small smile played at the edges of her lips as she traced her finger over the newly acquired picture on her desk. It was a snapshot she'd taken of Olivia and Noah the previous week. Olivia  
/had Noah on her shoulders and both were smiling happily into the camera.

It had been nearly three weeks since she and Olivia had moved their relationship into a more intimate phase and Alex could barely contain herself. Alex felt like a teenager with raging hormones again. She had always known Olivia would be a wonderful lover.  
/Olivia was an intense, focused, compassionate and caring individual, all of which were great characteristics to have in the bedroom. Olivia was indeed as good as she looked and Alex couldn't seem to get enough.

Alex knew they were still in the honeymoon phase and that jobs, responsibilities, and other distractions would eventually put a damper on the all-encompassing lust they were feeling now. Instead of being worried about it, Alex was actually looking forward  
/to it. It made the relationship more real. Truth be told, Alex kind of liked the interruptions from Noah when he just wanted to be held or when the toddler awakened from a bad dream in need of comfort. Alex, who had never really saw herself as a  
person

/comfortable with kids, found herself wanting to be the one attending to the young child. It was simply something about him that Alex was drawn to. She had fallen for Noah just like she had fallen for his mother.

"Wherever you are, I would love to visit."

Alex blinked and saw her best-friend Serena Southerlyn in the doorway.

"Sorry. I didn't hear you knock."

"Obviously. I think your secretary thinks you're ignoring him." Serena laughed and made her way into the office. "And since when did you get a male secretary?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "He's good at what he does. He keeps this office running like a well-oiled machine. Who cares if he has a penis?"

Serena laughed. "Obviously you wouldn't."

Alex chuckled. "What brings you by, Serena? The ACLU not keeping you busy enough?"

"Too busy really, but I actually took time out of my busy schedule to warn you."

"Excuse me?"

Serena pushed off the door and walked into the room. "I received an interesting call from your mother today."

Alex groaned and dropped her head on her desk. "What did that woman do now?"

Serena laughed. "Oh, nothing much. She just grilled me for nearly an hour about your apparent mystery paramour. Once she realized that I really didn't know anything, she sent me over to do a little reconnoitering for her."

"You're kidding me?"

"This is Caroline Cabot we're talking about, Alexandra." Serena said dryly.

"Right. Of course she did."

"So?"

"So what?"

Serena raised a brow. "So, who is the new person you're dating? Please tell me you aren't seeing Richard again."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Richard and I haven't spoken since I called the wedding off two years ago."

Serena sighed. "Thank god! I never liked him."

Alex scoffed. "If you disliked him so much why didn't you say anything while we were together?"

Serena laughed as she took a seat in front of Alex's desk. "Because you were so sad for so long after you came back. I was just glad to see you moving on. I didn't want to ruin it."

"Well, you should have. That was a complete disaster."

Serena waved her hand lazily. "Well, that is over now and I am more interested in who you're seeing now." She held up a finger to stop Alex from interrupting. "And don't even deny it. I'm your best friend. I know when something is going on with you. You've  
/cancelled on me every single time I've called you the last few weeks and it hasn't been because of work. Not to mention, whenever I've seen you lately, you look as if you've just won the lottery."

Alex eyed her for a moment before her lips tipped into a smile. She simply could not stop smiling when she thought about the brunette. Besides, Serena had known her much too long for Alex to try to lie.

"Alright. I have been seeing someone."

Serena raised a brow and waited.

Alex blushed and looked down. "The person I'm seeing is… Olivia."

Serena's eyes widened. "Detective Olivia Benson? The same Olivia Benson you've been pining over for years? That Olivia Benson?"

"Yes." Alex nodded shyly. "And actually it's… Sergeant Benson now… soon to be Lieutenant if the buzz I've been hearing is correct."

"Wow." Serena smirked slyly. "I cannot blame you for that. I always wondered if she was family. If I had known…just think of the possibilities." She shook her head. "She is… unbelievably hot, especially with the gun and that walk."

Alex looked at her friend in shock. "Hey! What would your wife have to say about you talking about another woman like that?"

"Are you kidding? Abbie would totally agree with me, but I get it. Benson is off limits. There's no need to get all touchy." Serena laughed holding up her hands. "So how did that happen? I thought you said you'd given up on you two ever being more than  
/friends."

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "I guess we were both just tired of… not being together."

"So are you two having a little fun or…" Serena trailed off knowing her friend's fear of relationships.

Alex blushed. "It's not just… fun. We are together."

"So, you've slept together?"

Alex blushed and nodded. "Yes, we've been intimate."

"Oh my!" Serena eyes widened. "Okay, I'm going to need details, my friend."

"No. No details."

"What? You cannot tell me that you've been sharing Olivia Benson's bed, the NYPD's pinup girl, and keep secrets about it. That's just wrong!"

"I can and I will. That part of our relationship stays between Olivia and me." Alex shook her head. "All you need to know is that we're together and quite happy."

Serena grew serious and smiled at her friend. "Well, I think that's wonderful, Alex. I know you've cared for her for a long time."

"Thanks."

"But wait, Abbie said she has a kid now right?"

Alex chuckled. "That kid has a name and it's Noah. He's eighteen months old and happens to be just as charming as his mother."

"He's charming huh?"

"He really is a beautiful little boy, Serena. He has these huge brown eyes that remind you so much of Olivia's and the most adorable little grin that makes you just melt when he flashes it."

Alex took the picture on her desk and held it out to her friend.

"Oh my god!" Serena shook her head at her gushing friend. "You really are smitten aren't you?"

Alex frowned as she put the picture back. "What? He's a cute kid. Who doesn't like a cute kid?"

"Uh… you." Serena said with a laugh. "The Alexandra Cabot I knew in college and even a few years ago didn't even want to be in the same room as a kid. You were too afraid it might get drool on your three thousand dollar suit."

Alex smiled knowing that Noah did just that on a regular basis now.

"Now look at you. I never thought I'd actually see the day that Alex 'the Ice Queen' Cabot would gush over a child."

"Okay. I'll admit that I wasn't always very child friendly, but a lot has changed since those days. It's been a long time since I've been that Alex Cabot. The worst thing to ever happen to that Alex was not making Law Review on the first try. I had no  
/idea what life was really about back then. When I was alone all those months in Witsec, everything I'd once thought mattered meant absolutely nothing to me. All I used to think about was being with Olivia and what it would be like to have a real  
future

/with her."

"Well it seems like you're on the right track. You two could have a ready-made family if you wanted."

Alex shook her head. "No. It's still too soon for that. We're trying not to rush into things."

"So I don't need to rent you a U-Haul?" Serena laughed.

"No, none of that just yet. Olivia says that we have all the time in the world and we should just enjoy what's happening between us."

"Smart woman. I guess the only thing you have to worry about now is what you're going to tell your mother. You know she's not going to give up until she knows what's going on with you."

"I know. I know." Alex moaned. "Sometimes I think I should call the NYPD and tell them to recruit her. She's the best detective on the planet."

Serena shook her head. "Only when it comes to you. Cut her some slack. It really took a toll on your mother when she thought she'd lost you." Serena shrugged her shoulders. "It's understandable that she'd be protective of you."

Alex ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "I know and I'm going to tell Mother. I have no plans to hide Olivia."

"Don't kill me for saying this, but you know people will talk. Have you thought about what this will mean for you politically?" Serena said leveling her with a knowing look.

Alex nodded slowly. "I have and I've come to realize that my dreams have changed. When I first started in the DA's office, my main goal was to sit in the DA's chair and make my way to the governor's mansion."

"And now?"

"Now… if Olivia can't be a part of my life, that's not a life that I want. Besides… I actually think I'd miss prosecuting."

"Good for you." Serena said. "Now, call your mother so she will leave me alone."

Alex laughed. "I promise that I will. I would have done it sooner, but I just wanted a chance for Olivia and me to be together before we had an audience, you know what I mean?"

"You don't have to explain that to me. You've met my mother. She makes it a point to interfere in my life and she lives all the way in Charleston. I can only imagine the amount of havoc she'd cause if she actually lived in the same city as me."

Alex nodded with understanding. "If my mother calls you back, would you just… stall her… if you can? I need to talk to Olivia first."

"Sure, no problem." Serena said standing. "Now, how about I take you to lunch or do you want me to leave you to your fantasies about your new lady lover?"

Alex stuck out her tongue playfully before standing. "It's not a fantasy if it actually happened. And don't even try to get me talking. I'm not sharing."

Serena shook her head and held the door open for her friend. "You say that now, but I've got an entire hour to get it out of you."

* * *

Olivia sat at her desk pouring over the autopsy findings and lab results for Charlotte Ascott. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. Just like before, their perp had been meticulous. Her detectives had combed the city and they  
/still had nothing to go on. She was reading through the latest lab report when her phone rang.

"Special Victims. Sergeant Benson speaking."

"Hey you. Is this a bad time?"

Although it was weak, Olivia couldn't stop the tiny smile that instinctively formed along her lips as she heard that familiar voice. "There is never a bad time to hear your voice. What's up?"

"Nothing really. I was just thinking about you."

"All good thoughts I hope?"

"Always." Alex said.

"Good."

Alex picked up something different in Olivia's tone. "You sound off. Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Liar. What's wrong?"

Alex heard Olivia sigh and the rustling of papers in the background. "Our perp struck again."

"You mean the guy that burned…"

"Yeah. The parents reported the daughter missing last week. A dock worker came across the body and called it in. It's the same MO."

"Any witnesses or leads or connections to the card?"

Olivia smirked at how easily Alex could move into the role of prosecutor. It was times like this that she truly missed having Alex around as their ADA.

"Nothing so far."

"You'll find something. You always do."

"I hope you're right. I hate the thought of this creep walking around out there preying on these young girls."

After a moment of silence, Olivia sighed. "I'm sorry. There must have been some reason you called. I didn't mean to lay all of this on you."

"Would you stop it? How many times do I have to tell you that I want you to be able to talk to me?"

"I know, but enough about the case. What's going on with you? Did you need to talk to me about something?"

"Actually, I do… need to talk to you about something." Alex said hesitantly.

"Okay."

Finally, Alex sighed. "Look, I don't want to rush you or make you feel uncomfortable so I won't pressure you if you don't want to…"

Olivia grinned. She had never really noticed how Alex rambled when she was nervous. She found it adorable. "Alex!" She interrupted.

"Yes?"

"You're rambling."

"I am?" Alex asked.

"Yes. You don't ramble, Alex."

"I know."

"What's going on, Counselor?" Olivia asked.

"Apparently my mother has started interrogating my friends."

Olivia wrinkled her brow. "What?"

"My mother wants to know what or, rather who, is putting this incredible smile on my face. The woman is notorious for prying into my life and she is not above putting the squeeze on my friends to get the information she needs."

Olivia genuinely laughed suddenly happy for the lighter topic. "Oh. Well…you should just tell her the truth; you're having hot monkey sex with your new lover."

"Very cute, Liv."

"What? What's the problem with that?"

"So you really want me to tell my mother _exactly_ how you had me glowing like a firefly?" Alex challenged.

"Well, maybe not _exactly_. You might want to leave out a few details." Olivia chuckled. "I would like to one day be able to look the woman in the eyes at some point. I don't think I could do that if she knows all about how I've defiled her precious  
/angel."

"Trust me, if anyone knows I'm not a precious angel it's my mother. But… speaking of looking her in the eyes, I think that might need to happen soon." Alex said hesitantly.

Olivia knew she needed to alleviate some of Alex's nervousness. "Look all joking aside, sweetheart… if you're ready to tell your mother about us, it's fine with me. You can tell her who I am, what I do, and how hopelessly in love I am with her daughter.  
/You can tell her whatever you'd like. I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this for the long haul."

"I'm having Mother over for dinner this Friday. Would you come… to meet her? If I don't allow her to meet you soon, she'll think I'm hiding something and she _will_ turn my life upside down until she has answers. So… will you? Although, I should  
/apologize ahead of time for any crazy thing she might subject you to. My mother can be a bit of a hand full."

Olivia chucked at the blonde's rambling again. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you nervous before. It's kind of adorable."

"Oh stop it."

"Alexandra, I would love nothing more than to officially meet the woman who is responsible for gracing the world with such a spectacular human being."

Alex swooned. She loved when Olivia used her full name and when she was being all sweet. "Where in the hell did this romantic side of you come from?"

"Well, she only comes out for you." Olivia said softly. She quickly coughed and wiped the smile off her face when she saw Fin appear in the doorway. _'I really got to put a lock on that damn door.'_ She held up a finger. "Umm… I'm sorry, but I'm  
/going to have to cut this short. I have to go."

"One of the guys is looking at you aren't they?" Alex laughed.

"That would be an accurate assessment of the situation." Olivia said trying to keep a straight face.

"Okay. I won't make you tell me you love me then."

"But you know I do."

"Yes, I do. Have a good day, Sergeant. I will call you with the details about dinner."

"Yes. Thank you again. You do the same."

Olivia cleared her throat and looked up at a smirking Fin. "What's up?"

"Just letting you know we have a lead. Nick and I wanted to run it by you before we headed out."

Olivia nodded. "Give me a second. I'll be right out."

"On it boss." He said turning to leave. He suddenly stopped and poked his head back in the door. "Tell Cabot I said hello when she calls you back later, will ya?"

Olivia flushed and her mouth dropped open slightly. "How…"

"That lovey-dovey look on your face has Cabot written all over it and..." Fin pointed at her. "You also have a hickey the size of Texas on your neck."

Without thinking, Olivia pulled out a small mirror she kept in her desk. She looked then glared back at Fin. "I do not."

"I know, but you just proved that I was right." Fin laughed as he walked away. "Don't forget to tell Cabot I said hi."

Suddenly Olivia felt the need to bang her head on the desk.

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Please remember to review.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** I'm not really confident about this chapter. I didn't have a lot of time to write it and I just struggled with it for some reason. Let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU and characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

Olivia stood in the squad room with her detectives as they went back over what little evidence they had so far. She sighed heavily. The team had been working the cases for several weeks now. With no suspects or promising leads, the Chambers and Ascott cases had turned cold and would soon be handed over to the Cold Case Division. The thought of not finding justice for those two women weighed heavily on Olivia's conscious.

By the time Olivia left for the evening, it was already near Noah's bedtime. She quickly sent the nanny home and spent a few moments with Noah before she tucked him in for the night. She had just laid her head down on her pillow when her phone vibrated on the nightstand. She groaned hoping it wasn't work. A slow smile crossed her tired features as she read the text.

 _"Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you. Goodnight and sweet dreams. I love you." -A_

 _"I love you too. –O."_ Olivia typed quickly before she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Whoever said that crime never sleeps wasn't lying. Olivia didn't even have time to make it into the precinct the next morning before she'd gotten another call. The body of Josephine Preston was found lying in an alley in lower Manhattan. Some skater kids skipping school had stumbled upon the body. Olivia dreaded taking each step towards the restricted area. She saw Melinda already kneeling next to the body.

"What do we have?"

"Caucasian female, early to mid-twenties. COD appears to be blunt force trauma to the head. She was also brutally raped." The ME stated with practiced ease.

"Anything else?"

The ME knew what her friend was asking. The person responsible for the deaths of Annabeth Chambers and Charlotte Ascott was still out there. There was always the chance that the killer could disappear, leaving the deaths of those two women unsolved. However, if the burnings on the body and those damn cards were any indication of things to come, the odds were in favor of the killer striking again and again until he or she was caught. That fact alone had all of them on edge.

"No. I found fluids and bite marks. I'll run the DNA when I get her back to the lab." Melinda gave Olivia a long look. "It's not him, Liv."

Olivia simply nodded feeling a sense of loathing in that moment. She was disgusted with herself because she felt relief. Here was a vital, young woman who had been brutally raped and beaten and Olivia's first emotion had been relief because at least that meant Annabeth and Charlotte's killer had not struck again… at least she hoped.

"Alright. Let me know when you have something more."

"You got it."

* * *

It had taken only two days for the team to catch a break in the Preston case. While tracking down the victim's next of kin, Rollins and Carisi had found the husband passed out in the home. They also found clothes covered in blood stuffed in a bag in a closet. The lab was processing his clothing to see if the blood on his clothes matched that of the victim's. Judging by the husband's mad ramblings as he paced the interview room, they had their killer in custody. If only the other open cases could be solved so easily.

Unfortunately for Olivia, the linked cases had been picked up by the local media. It wasn't long before the reporters had dubbed their perp the 'Karma Killer'. The city was on alert and up in arms with a suspected serial killer on the loose. The Brass was ready to take a rather large bite out of Olivia's ass if they didn't catch this guy or at the very least have a suspect in custody soon. To say that she was under a lot of stress was the understatement of the year, but she tried not to allow it all to overwhelm her tonight. Tonight, Alex needed her to be calm and focused on something other than work. She needed to be focused on impressing Alex's mother, if that was even possible.

Alex had told her a few stories about her mother. She had the reputation of being blunt and she didn't suffer fools. Now that she was standing outside the familiar wooden penthouse door, she felt her stomach quivering with nerves. She had only met Mrs. Cabot once, if you could actually call it a meeting. They had crossed paths at Alex's faux funeral years ago. She had spoken only a few words to the grieving woman, offering her condolences for the loss of her only daughter; the daughter that Olivia knew was alive and well.

Several thoughts starting going through Olivia's head. What if Mrs. Cabot was angry that she had been a part of the lie? What if she blamed her for not keeping Alex safe? What if she didn't think she was good enough for her daughter? Suddenly, Olivia regretted her decision to leave Noah home with the nanny. At least if she'd had Noah, she could hide behind her cute kid.

Olivia growled and shook her head. _"Get it together, Benson. You stare down murderers and rapists every single day. You can do this."_

Taking another deep breath, she raised her hand to knock when the door swung open. Alex smiled and gave her a perplexed look.

"There you are. James called up to announce you ten minutes ago. What are you doing out here?"

"Uh… I…"

"Liv?"

"Uh…"

Alex was immediately concerned at her lover's pale expression. "Liv, what's wrong?"

"What… What if she doesn't like me?"

Alex tilted her head and smiled warmly. This was the Olivia Benson that Alex adored. It was the Olivia Benson that the rest of the world never saw. The woman was such a dichotomy. The tough, fearless crime fighter by day could also be this vulnerable, timid woman in their private world.

Taking a quick glance over her shoulder, Alex stepped out into the hallway closing the door behind her. She noticed the bouquet of yellow tulips Olivia was holding. Olivia held them out wordlessly. Alex took them before pulling the other woman to her into a warm hug. She stepped away and caressed her cheek.

"Look at you. You're such a sweetheart. Thank you. These are my mother's favorite. How did you know that?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. "I listen when you talk."

Alex pulled Olivia back into her body placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Sweetheart, my mother is going to love you."

"You don't know that, Alex. What if…"

Alex placed a finger over her lips. "I do. Trust me. I know my mother. I'll be the first to admit that she's a little posh maybe even a little elitist, but she's also nosy, overbearing, outspoken, and at times down right annoying… which makes her just like every other mother in the world. You know how I know that she's going to love you? She going to love you because you make me incredibly happy and that is the only thing that matters to her. OK?"

"Okay." Olivia nodded and accepted the quick peck Alex placed on her cheek before leading her inside.

* * *

Caroline Cabot was sitting in an arm chair sipping on a glass of wine as the two women entered hand-in-hand. Olivia quickly sized her up in one glance. She was wearing a simple cream cardigan set, a pair of tan slacks with stylish low heels. The ensemble was understated but very chic. Combined with the perfectly styled blonde hair, simple string of pearls, and the perfect posture presented a striking image. Everything about this woman screamed upper class.

Caroline placed her glass on the table and eyed the two as they entered. She instantly recalled meeting the dark haired woman being led, or rather pulled in this case, into the living room by her daughter before.

"Mother, I'd like you to meet Sergeant Olivia Benson… my girlfriend."

Caroline leveled her coolest glare on the woman as she stood. She glanced down at the hand Olivia was holding out, pausing for a long moment before taking it.

"Yes. I do believe we've met before… at Alexandra's supposed funeral if I'm not mistaken."

Olivia swallowed thickly. "Hello again, Mrs. Cabot."

"Sergeant." She said icily.

"I wish I had been able to tell you the truth that day."

"Yes. It seems there were many things I was not aware of that unfortunate day." Caroline said giving Olivia an odd look.

Olivia bit her lip nervously, unsure how to respond.

"It was a rather difficult time as you might imagine; a time I've tried to forget."

"Of course."

"Alexandra, why don't you go put those lovely flowers in some water. Sergeant Benson and I will be fine for a few moments." Caroline said never taking her eyes off of Olivia.

Alex sighed. "Olivia, can I get you something to drink while I'm _apparently_ putting these in water?"

Olivia shook her head. "No thank you. I'm fine."

"Okay. I'll be right back." Alex said giving her mother a long look as if begging her to behave.

Caroline took a seat on the sofa and waited until her daughter had made her way into the kitchen before she turned back to Olivia. She gestured for Olivia to sit as well. "Olivia… can I call you Olivia?"

"Yes ma'am."

Caroline stared at Olivia for a long moment. Olivia could see where Alex got her infamous courtroom glare. "I love my daughter, Olivia. I love her more than words can express. She is and will always be the most precious thing in my life."

"Of course."

"So it should come as no surprise to you that I would never wish to see her hurt in any way."

"I feel the same."

"Do you?" Caroline asked heatedly.

Olivia frowned. "Of course I do."

"When Alexandra finally returned home to me, she wasn't the same. She was so fragile. It was as if she didn't know her place in the world anymore."

Olivia's heart ached hearing this, even more at the tears welling in the older woman's eyes.

"The only thing that even brought a remote smile to her face was the thought of seeing you again."

Olivia's eyes widened in surprise.

"Once she was settled, the first thing she wanted to do was see you."

Olivia frowned. "But… she never came to see me."

"Yes, she did. Apparently, you were already romantically involved." Caroline held up a delicate hand as Olivia started to speak. "Now, I am not holding that against you, Sergeant. Alexandra explained to me that you two were never more than colleagues before she went away. It's understandable that you would continue to live your life. I just want you to understand that it was difficult for me as a mother to see my child so heartbroken; to see her trying to mask that sadness by committing to someone she did not truly love. It has taken Alexandra several years to finally recover. I will not stand by and watch her go through that again. So if you are not one hundred percent certain about a relationship with her, I want you to get up and walk out that door."

Olivia met the intense blue eyes that looked so familiar yet different all at once and held them fiercely. "Mrs. Cabot, I mean no disrespect when I say this but the only way I'm going out that door is if Alex kicks me out of it. And even then, I will go kicking and screaming because I love that woman more than my own life. We both wasted so much time, time we could have spent together…being happy. I refuse to waste another moment of my life not being with her. I have loved her since the moment I saw her." Olivia chuckled. "I loved her when we couldn't stand each other and I'm going to love her for as long as she'll have me. Now, I know that if we don't get along that could make my relationship with Alex difficult. She adores you and she lives for your approval. For her sake, I hope we can find some kind of common ground but even if we cannot, I will not give her up without a fight."

Caroline searched and scrutinized Olivia's eyes for what felt like an eternity. "Thank you." She finally said.

Olivia blinked. "Excuse me?" She looked up to see the older woman softly smiling.

"As a mother, the one thing you want most for your child is for them to find happiness with someone who will love them as much as you do. I think Alexandra has finally found that person."

Olivia glanced across the room and saw Alex standing in the doorway with a knowing smirk on her face.

"Having said that, maybe you could use some of your considerable influence to encourage Alexandra to consider making me a grandmother at some point. I'm not getting any younger, you know."

"Mother!" Alex exclaimed.

"You aren't opposed to more children are you, dear?"

Alex blushed deeply. "Really Mother?!"

The older woman simply smiled. "Oh, do lighten up Alexandra. Stop eavesdropping and make yourself useful and bring your dear old mother a refill while Olivia and I get to know one another better?"

Olivia smothered her laugh at the attorney's scandalized look.

"Now, it should go without saying that if you hurt her in any way, there will be no peace on this earth for you. You will need every bit of that NYPD brotherhood to protect you."

Olivia coughed to cover a chuckle. This woman was something else. "Absolutely."

"Good. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, Alexandra tells me you have a son."

"Yes. His name is Noah. He's a little ball of energy."

"Oh, how lovely." Caroline laughed softly and brought her hands together. "When Alexandra was that age, I had a purse full of photos. I'm betting you do as well." Caroline said raising a questioning brow in her direction.

Olivia smiled and quickly pulled out her phone. "I only have about a hundred."

Caroline leaned in and gushed at the beautiful child on the screen. "Oh my! He is rather dashing isn't he?"

"I think so, but I'm a little biased."

"Oh nonsense. This is quite the handsome young man. He's adorable Sergeant."

"Please. It's Olivia remember."

Caroline nodded. "Then you should call me Caroline."

"Deal."

"Good, now let me see more pictures of this beautiful boy and I'm sure I still have a few of Alexandra that I'm sure she'll find terribly embarrassing."

"Oh, now you're talking."

Alex watched from the kitchen as the two most important women in her life bonded over baby pictures and baby stories. As Caroline began telling a story from Alex's childhood, Olivia looked up and met her eyes. Alex felt so much love in that gaze. Olivia smiled and mouthed _I love you_ before turning her attention back towards Caroline.

Alex sighed and went back to making their drinks. Yes, things were finally falling into place. She couldn't help but believe that they were beginning to build the life they had always deserved.

* * *

Across town on a darkened abandoned street, Celeste Anderson sighed. The cab she had called should have been here waiting already. Hearing a noise, she paused and looked over her shoulder. She suddenly regretted not leaving the party with her friends. She quickly pulled out her cell phone to place another call when suddenly her world went black.

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reviewing. Remember to review.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Here is the next chapter. I hope you all are still interested. Let me know what you think. Your feedback helps.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: Special Victims Unit and characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

Olivia heard her phone ping as she approached the latest crime scene. She glanced at it distractedly. It was a text message from her dentist reminding her of her upcoming appointment. She was about swipe it away when she suddenly paused. Slowly, a wide smile emerged on her face. She received a few odd looks as she passed several officers standing nearby. Smiling at a gruesome crime scene was not something you'd see every day, especially if the person smiling was their usually hardnosed, serious sergeant. Olivia simply ignored the curious looks. She was happy and she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty about it. She had just realized that she and Alex had reached the four month mark as of today. Olivia didn't even know if that was a legitimate anniversary, but she didn't care. She had been dating Alexandra Cabot for four months and it was everything she'd hoped it would be and more.

The past few months really had been something special. Of course, things hadn't been perfect. They both had demanding jobs that tended to get in the way, but they'd found a way to make it work. Olivia and Alex spent as much time with one another as possible, yet still respected one another's space. Alex never got upset or felt neglected when Olivia needed to cancel at the last minute because of work or when she needed to spend time with Noah. She could not have asked for a better girlfriend.

 _Girlfriend?_ Every time Olivia used that word to describe Alex, she got butterflies. She thought it seemed odd to have a girlfriend at her age. The way she felt about Alex just seemed much deeper than a girlfriend. _Companion? Partner? Lover?_ The last title made Olivia feel warm all over thinking of the last time she had experienced Alex's love. She instinctively smiled again.

"Damn. What gives Liv? You're lit up like a damn Christmas tree. Cabot still putting it on you huh?" Fin asked teasingly.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Shut it, Fin."

"Hey you know I'm just teasing you, Liv. I'm really happy for you. Alex is good people. She's family."

Olivia glanced at her and nodded. "Thanks. She would appreciate you saying that."

They walked a few paces before Fin spoke again. "I should warn you. I think our guy is back."

And just like that Olivia's lighthearted mood vanished along with her smile.

Fin lifted the yellow tap and allowed Olivia to pass through. They saw the ME doing a preliminary exam of the victim.

"Hey Melinda."

"Liv." Melinda responded never looking up.

"What can you tell me?"

Melinda finally looked up from the body she was crouched over. Fin held out his hand to help her to her feet as she began to stand. "Caucasian female, early twenties. She's been stabbed multiple times."

Olivia looked at the ID through the plastic evidence bag. "Celeste Anderson."

"She was reported missing about a week ago by her parents." Fin supplied. "Went to a party and never came home."

Olivia frowned. "Address says she lives uptown on Lexington. She's a long way from home down here."

"Her throat was slit too. I'm thinking she bled out through the aorta but I won't be certain until I get her back to the lab."

"How long has she been dead?"

"Judging by the state of rigor, I'd say at least twenty-four hours."

Olivia nodded. "Anything else?"

"Due to the absence of blood, I can definitely say that she wasn't killed here. There would be more blood. She has a nasty contusion to the back of the head too."

"So, he knocks her out, stashes her for a week, kills her, and then places her here to be found?" Olivia guessed.

Melinda nodded. "That makes sense. There is practically no blood here and there would be plenty based on these wounds." Melinda said.

Olivia shook her head as she looked at the young woman. "Any sign of sexual assault?"

"There are fluids present, but I can't say for sure until…."

"You do a full examination." Olivia finished with a sigh. She rubbed her forehead. "Is it him, Melinda?"

Melinda nodded. She opened the blouse further exposing the abdomen. There was a large K on her thigh area with the other letters burned into her chest.

Olivia and Fin looked down at the victim in quiet despair. "Was there a card?" Olivia finally asked.

Melinda nodded and held up the evidence bag. It had two short lines above one long mark.

Olivia sighed. "Three."

* * *

"So what do we have so far?" Olivia asked approaching the detectives who were huddled together.

"What's nothing plus nothing?" Amaro said gruffly.

"What do we know about our victim?"

Rollins stepped forward and shook her head. "Celeste Anderson, 22. She still lived with her parents on the Upper East Side. She was attending Barnard College. Her record is completely clean, not even a parking ticket. The parents are clean too. They're completely devastated."

Olivia's eyes roamed over the gruesome crime scene photos and a shutter ran through her as she thought of her own child.

Shaking her thoughts away, Olivia went back into detective mode. "Karma is on all three victims. There has to be some significance to it, maybe something ritualistic. Karma is usually connected to Hinduism and Buddhism, right? What do we know about our victim's religious background?

Amaro shook his head. "Neither have connections to either of those religions. Both the Anderson and Ascott families identify as Catholic and the Chambers are agnostic."

"What about boyfriends?"

"The Chambers girl wasn't involved with anyone from what we can tell and Celeste's parents said Celeste was gay and also unattached."

Olivia glared at the evidence board. "What about cold cases… any of them have the same MO?"

"An old friend of mine works with the FBI now. I had her check on any current and cold cases with a connection to anything ritualistic. No hits." Fin said.

Olivia sighed heavily. "Okay. What about forensics? Please tell me the crime lab found something."

Fin shook his head sadly. "The Doc said there were no fibers or DNA present on or near either of the vic's bodies. The perp knows what he's doing."

Olivia ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "Alright. So we're still at square one. We got nothing people, but that just means we keep digging. This perp went to a lot of trouble to send a message. We just have to figure out what it is and why."

* * *

Several hours later, a physically and mentally exhausted Olivia entered her apartment. She immediately knew something was different. There was an intoxicating smell in the air. She tossed her bag aside and followed the delicious scent and the wonderful sound of her son's laughter. Expecting to see the nanny, Olivia was surprised to be greeted by the sight of her son sitting in his high chair giggling and clapping as a beautiful blonde made air plane noises as she fed him. Olivia leaned against the doorjamb and just watched them. The scene was so touching, she thought her heart would beat out of her chest. After the day she'd had, this was exactly what she needed.

She watched how Noah's eyes twinkled with delight as Alex made a funny face at him.

It wasn't long before Noah turned his head and saw his mother.

"Mom-mee!"

Alex looked over and smiled brightly. The smile warmed Olivia inside and out.

"You're home."

Olivia pushed off the door and moved into the kitchen. "I am… and you're here."

Alex wiped her hands on the towel and moved to embrace the older woman. Olivia slipped arms around the slender waist as Alex draped her arms around the brunette's neck. They hugged tightly and kissed gently before pulling apart.

"I found Noah's stuffed duck in my bag. I know he doesn't sleep well without it. When I brought it back Noah wanted to play so..."

At that moment, Noah decided to make himself known. "Ayesh! Ayesh!" He said pointing at the blonde and laughing.

Olivia laughed. "He really likes you, you know?"

Alex shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. "I'm likeable."

Olivia leaned in for a quick kiss. "You're loveable."

"I knew you'd be home soon so I told Lucy that I'd take care of dinner and Noah until you got home. I hope I didn't overstep."

After four months of dating, the two women were still mapping out the confines and rules of their relationship.

Olivia smiled and pecked Alex on the lips again. "Of course not. I trust you with my son. Besides, how could I mind getting to come home to my two favorite people?"

"Mommy!"

Alex chuckled. "I think someone wants your attention too."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Obviously." She stepped away from Alex and moved over to place a sloppy kiss on Noah's cheek earning a loud giggle from him. He patted her face with his chubby hands. "And how is my little man doing? Did you have a good day today?"

Noah clapped. "Ood day! Ayesh!"

Olivia flashed a big smile at the blushing blonde while ruffling her son's hair. "Yes! Alex. She makes my day better too buddy."

It wasn't long before Olivia found herself sitting down to a fabulous meal. She wiped the edges of her mouth with her napkin and shook her head.

"That was wonderful, Alex. Thank you. Who knew you could cook?"

Alex laughed. "And what would make you believe that I couldn't cook?"

Before Olivia could answer, Alex pointed a slender finger in her direction and pinned her with a hard glare. "And if you bring up that old story about me setting my own stove on fire, I just might hurt you."

Olivia bit her lip and tried to look innocent. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I was going to say you looked much too regal to be caught dead in a kitchen."

They both looked at each other until they both burst into laughter.

"You're a horrible liar. Whatever. I know I will never live down setting my own stove on fire, but you can now attest to the fact that I have improved my culinary skills greatly." She turned in the direction of Noah. "Isn't that right, Noah? You enjoyed your spaghetti, didn't you?"

"Getti! Getti!"

Olivia's eyes softened at the tender moment. She reached over and linked her fingers with Alex's. "I think you've proven your point. Noah and I can definitely attest to that. Thank you again for a great dinner."

"You're welcome." Alex said leaning over for a quick kiss.

Alex stood and cleared her and Olivia's plates giving the brunette some time with her son. She smiled when she felt a pair of strong arms slide around her waist. She leaned back into the solid body behind her. Olivia placed a kiss just below her ear and held her close.

"I noticed something today."

Alex smirked. "Oh really."

"Yep. You showed up at my door exactly four months ago to celebrate Noah's adoption. Not only did I officially become the mother of the cutest kid in the world, but I gained the love of the most beautiful woman in the world too."

Alex turned and draped her arms around Olivia's neck. She looked up at Olivia shyly. "I didn't think you'd remember. One month and one year are usually the traditional anniversaries."

Olivia leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Trust me. I'm going to remember that day… every single day of my life."

"You're such a sweet talker."

"Only for you." Olivia said as she leaned back in for another kiss.

Noah chose that moment to place his bowl of spaghetti on his head. The women could only laugh at his antics. Without even thinking, Alex slipped out of Olivia's arms and started cleaning the excess food away before lifting him from his high chair. Olivia was amazed at how at ease Alex seemed with it all.

"How about we get you cleaned up little guy?"

"I can take care of it. It's about time for his bath anyway." Olivia said only to be pushed back by the blonde.

"You've had a long, stressful day. I can handle a little clean up if you don't mind me taking care of his bath tonight?" When Olivia shook her head, Alex smiled. "Good. Why don't you have a glass of wine while I take care of him?"

"Okay." Olivia placed a kiss on the small cheek not covered with sauce. "Have fun with… Ayesh!"

This earned her a playful glare from the blonde.

"See you when you're all cleaned up buddy."

"Bye-Bye Mommy!"

Olivia glanced around the kitchen. There wasn't much to clean. She quickly tackled the few dishes then wiped down the counters and Noah's high chair. Taking Alex's advice, she took her glass of wine and made her way out into the living-room sofa. It wasn't long before Alex and a freshly scrubbed Noah came into view dressed in a pair of new panda pajamas Alex had bought him.

Spotting his mother, Noah leaned his body towards her hoping to make his way into her arms. Olivia quickly obliged him as Alex handed him over.

"Hey buddy. I missed you so much today."

Noah giggled and placed his small hands on each side of her face. Alex watched them share kisses. She loved seeing them together. Settling down and having children was never a part of her plans. It was just something she never thought about. Life was all about winning cases and making a name for herself so she could be on the path to the governor's mansion. Now, after everything she'd gone through over the past few years and having Olivia and Noah in her life, her outlook on the topic had changed drastically.

Never in a million years would Alex have thought she'd rather be home watching an episode of Sesame Street with a toddler than attending the opera or going to the symphony. Now, this was all she wanted. It's what she craved. She didn't know when it happened but she had fallen just as in love with Olivia's son as she had with the brunette.

"Hey where did you go just now?" Olivia asked a little concerned.

Alex shook her head and gave her a warm smile. "Nowhere. I'm right here… right where I want to be."

Olivia leaned over and placed a lingering kiss on the blonde's cheek.

"Ayesh! Kish?"

Olivia chuckled. "You want to kiss Alex too?"

Noah nodded and moved over to Alex who took him into her arms with ease. He placed his hands on each side of her face and gave a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Alex laughed with delight and kissed him back.

"Thank you, Noah. You are such a great kisser."

"Say thank you Noah." Olivia instructed.

Noah grinned. "Tanku!" He said proudly.

"No, thank you!" Alex said tickling his belly.

Noah wiggled and laughed as the two women placed kisses all over his face.

 **TBC**

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** I apologize for the delay in updates. Unfortunately, I lost a close friend a couple of weeks ago and I haven't felt like writing at all. I will try to get back to updating weekly. Like always, let me know what you think. The feedback helps. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope you will continue to do so.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order Special Victims Unit and all characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

Olivia was awakened from her deep sleep by the buzzing of her cell phone on the nightstand. She sleepily fumbled around until her hand found the offending object. "Benson." Olivia answered quietly trying not to wake the blonde still asleep next to her.

"Liv, it's Fin. I know it's late but can you come down to Bellevue?" Olivia heard him say over the noise in the background.

Olivia sat up slowly in bed. "Why? What's going on?"

"I got a call from one of my ER contacts. A white female, early twenties was brought in. Victim was attacked from behind. The nurses said the victim had a cut on her throat and was mumbling something about karma."

Olivia's eyes widened and she was instantly awake. This could be the break they'd been praying for. It had been a few weeks since the last attack and they still had no major leads. "Are you telling me we have a live victim?"

"Looks like it."

"I'll meet you there as soon as possible."

Olivia gently slipped out of bed and started getting dressed in the set of clothes that she always kept nearby for calls like this. Clipping her badge on, she moved back to the bed.

"Alex? Honey, I need you to wake up for me."

Olivia waited until blue eyes slowly blinked open. "Hey, sorry to wake you, but Fin just called. I have to leave. Can you stay with Noah until Lucy gets here in a few hours? I can drop him off on my way if you can't."

"No, don't wake him. I can stay."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. I don't have to be in the office. Mother and I are having lunch. I can just take Noah along if that's okay. She's been dying to meet him anyway."

"Sounds good to me."

"I should probably warn you there's a good chance that she will spoil him rotten."

Olivia smirked. "You mean more than you already do?"

Alex propped herself up on her elbow giving Olivia a surprised look. "I… I do not spoil him."

Olivia raised a skeptical brow.

They both knew the blonde had gotten very familiar with the local toy and baby clothing stores in the few months they had been together. Olivia was beginning to worry about where she would store everything if Alex kept buying him things. There was nothing more frightening than a Cabot with an American Express Black Card with no limit.

"Okay maybe I spoil him a little… just a little. But it's just so much fun to see his little face light up like that." Alex said with a goofy grin.

Olivia sat back on the bed and gave the blonde a blistering kiss that had them both panting when it ended.

"Wow. What was that for?" Alex said looking a little dazed.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "For being here… loving me… loving my kid."

Alex smiled lovingly leaning in for another kiss. "You're both very lovable."

"I'm sorry. I gotta go." Olivia said with a sigh.

"I know. I'll send you pictures of Noah while we're shopping."

Olivia shook her head. Alex watched her open the safe and retrieve her gun. She clipped it on with ease. Alex had watched Olivia head to a crime scene a thousand times when they worked together and it never really bothered her. Now that they were together in every sense of the word, Alex felt her chest constrict with worry. Knowing what could happen when Olivia left the safety of these walls, Alex made a vow to never allow the brunette to leave without telling her that she loved her.

"Be safe and I love you."

Olivia leaned down and gave her one last kiss. "Always. I love you too." Once she reached the door, she suddenly turned and pointed an accusing finger in Alex's direction. "And do not turn my kid into a little supermodel while I'm gone."

Olivia headed out to the scene to the sound of Alex's laughter still lingering in her mind.

All thoughts of Noah and Alex were put away as Olivia arrived at the hospital. She found Fin and Carisi already waiting for her at the nurse's station.

"What do we know?" Olivia asked.

"Our victim fought like hell and she's lucky. Fortunately, the wound on her neck wasn't deep enough to be fatal. She lost a lot of blood but, the doctor says she'll be fine. I'm guessing the perp wasn't expecting her to have her own weapon on her." Fin said holding up a plastic evidence bag with what appeared to be a military style pocket knife inside.

If the situation hadn't been so horrible, Olivia would have smiled. "Was she able to make a statement?"

Fin shook his head. "She was pretty shaken up when she was brought in. They had to sedate her to stitch her up. The doc said she'd be out for a few hours. We were able to get her identification from the purse recovered nearby. Her name is Angelica Ross."

Olivia nodded. "Alright. I want both of you to personally deliver that to the lab and have it run for DNA. Hopefully our guy is in the system. I'm going to stay here until our victim wakes up to get her statement."

* * *

It was three hours before the young woman woke up. Olivia slowly approached the bed and gave her a warm smile.

"Angelica Ross?"

Olivia waited until she turned and faced her to continue. Olivia noticed the bruising along the left side of her face and neck. There was also a large white bandage on the right side of her neck covering the stitches beneath.

Olivia raised her badge so she could see it clearly. "Angelica. I'm Sergeant Olivia Benson. I'm with the Special Victims Unit. Could I ask you a few questions about what happened to you tonight?"

The woman's eyes blinked and she nodded slowly. Olivia shuttered. The woman's penetrating blue eyes reminded her of Alex.

The woman raised her hand and gestured to her throat.

Olivia nodded. The doctors had already told her that the woman would have difficulty speaking. She reached into her jacket and pulled out a notepad and pencil and held them out to her.

"Can you tell me what happened? You can write it down."

It took a few moments for Angelica to scribble something down before she showed it to Olivia.

"Someone was following you?" Olivia read.

The woman gave a slow nod.

She began to write and held it up to Olivia again.

"Tried to cut… drag away… He tried to drag you away?"

Another nod came and Olivia leaned closer to read as she continued to write. "I know. You cut him with your knife. We have it as evidence. Do you remember where you were able to cut the person who attacked?"

The woman gestured to her upper arm. Olivia nodded. She could picture the attack in her mind. Angelica had likely been able to cut the attacker while his arm was around her neck.

"Could you see his face? Did you recognize him at all?"

The woman's eyes filled with tears as she shook her head and scribbled across the page. Olivia looked down at the notepad. "You saw his hand?"

The girl nodded and continued to write.

"His hand was white. That's good." Olivia said encouragingly.

The girl paused and wiped a few tears away. Olivia reached over and pulled a few tissues from the box and handed them to her. She took a few moments to collect herself before she wrote again.

Olivia squinted at the writing. "His voice… He had an accent?"

Angelica shivered as if she was reliving the sound. She nodded and held up the pad.

"British accent. Okay. That helps a lot. You did great." Olivia said squeezing her hand. "Is there anything else you can remember… anything at all?"

Olivia waited a moment. The girl held up the notepad again. Angelica had written the word karma.

"Karma?"

The girl simply nodded.

"What did he say about karma?" Olivia asked softly.

A few tears fell from Angelica Ross' face as she started writing again. Olivia read it aloud. "You reap what you sow."

* * *

A few hours later, Olivia met Fin and Carisi as they returned to the squad room. "Was the lab able to get anything from the knife Angelica used?"

Fin growled in frustration. "No. We have his blood type, but nothing else. Whoever this guy is, he isn't in the system."

"Dammit!" Olivia sighed. She had really been hoping they would have something this time. "What do we find out about our victim?"

"Angelica Ross is just like the others. She's a senior at NYU. Straight A student. No record."

"This is not random. He has a type. He's going after these young college girls for a reason."

"Yeah, apparently all good girls too." Fin added.

"So that's where we start." Olivia said pulling up all the information on the smart-board. "These girls are all connected somehow. We're not going to find this guy until we figure out how."

* * *

Across town, Alex was smiling at Noah as she gave him his favorite stuffed duck to keep him occupied in the high chair. Once he had finished his meal, it wasn't easy to keep him quiet and still.

Caroline watched her daughter carefully as she managed to eat her salad and engage the child next to her with ease as if she'd been doing it all of her life.

"You're rather good with him." Caroline said thoughtfully.

Alex smiled. "He's easy going, a lot like his mother. Thank you, by the way."

"For what?" Caroline asked picking at her own salad.

"For allowing me to change our plans and picking a more child friendly restaurant. I know this isn't really your usual flair." Alex said glancing around the small colorful diner.

Caroline waved a hand lazily. "Of course. One could hardly expect a child to feel comfortable at Per Se. And although this is not a place I might usually dine, the food is quite good."

Alex raised a brow. "Where was this reasonable attitude when I was a child? I recall being forced to eat at places like _Per Se_ and _La Bernadine_ from as early as I can remember."

Caroline had the good grace to blush. "I wanted you to learn proper etiquette. What better place than a five star restaurant."

"Right. Of course, it was for etiquette lessons." Alex said sarcastically.

"Alexandra." Caroline warned as only a mother could. "You know you grew up in a different time under different circumstances. Certain things were expected of you."

"Because I was born a Cabot." Alex said almost bitterly.

Caroline paused. She placed her napkin on the table and placed her food aside. "I know that you didn't have the easiest childhood, Alexandra. I was very aware of what it meant to marry into your father's family, but you were born into this life. I know that your father and I put a lot of expectations on you…far more than any child should have had to bear and that was not fair to you. I should have allowed you to just be… a child."

Alex suddenly felt bad when she heard the tremble in her mother's voice. "It's alright, Mother."

"No, it's not. I should have spent more time just watching you be a little girl. I missed a lot. And when I thought I had lost you…" She paused as tears gathered in her eyes. "…it became painfully clear that none of that mattered. You were gone and… none of it mattered."

Alex, unable to handle the pain in her mother's eyes, placed a hand over the older woman's. She gripped it tightly and cut her off. "Mom, don't. Please."

It wasn't often that Caroline talked about the time Alex had spent in Witsec; time she spent grieving believing she had outlived her only child. The few times they had discussed it, Caroline could hardly endure the feelings of despair it conjured within her.

"Mother, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to upset you."

Caroline took a silk handkerchief from her purse and dabbed away the tears at the edges of her eyes. Alex noticed the tremble in the older woman's hands and took the handkerchief. "Here. Let me."

Alex gently removed the moisture near those familiar blue eyes taking care to not smudge the mascara. "There. You look as beautiful as always."

They sat holding hands in silence for a long moment before Noah made himself known again. "Ayesh!"

Alex turned to the energetic boy and laughed. She handed him his favorite stuffed duck drawing a big grin from him. "Yes Noah. I'm Al…ex. Can you say Alex?"

Noah furrowed his little brow in confusion. "Ayesh!"

"Al…ex." Alex repeated slowly.

"Ayesh!" Noah said looking determined and slightly annoyed. It was as if he was saying, _'That's what I just said'_.

Caroline chuckled. "That is the most adorable thing I've ever heard."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Olivia gets a kick out of it too. He'll get the correct pronunciation down eventually."

"No, darling. I wasn't referring to how he says your name. It's the fact that he does with such joy. He seems quite taken with you…" Caroline saw the loving way her daughter was attending to the toddler. "… as you are with him."

Alex turned and met her mother's knowing gaze. A faint hint of blush covered her ears. "He's a lovely boy."

Caroline watched her daughter judiciously for a moment. "Alexandra, do you know what you're doing?"

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, attention still focused on Noah.

"That boy is quite attached to you. Not that I'm opposed to it. You know how I feel about you making me a grandmother, but..." She paused and chose her words carefully. "Are you ready for the level of commitment it would require to be in his life properly?"

Alex frowned and glanced up at her mother. "I don't know what you mean. I am in his life."

Caroline shook her head slightly. "I mean are you prepared to be a mother to him?"

Alex froze before her mouth hung open as she tried to formulate a sentence. Caroline smirked and took a sip of her lemonade. "Do close your mouth darling. The look is quite unbecoming of a lady."

Caroline watched the emotions move over Alex's face. It was times like these that she could see so much of her late husband in her daughter. Those blue eyes were so expressive and telling. She saw the exact moment her daughter came to a conclusion.

"I… I hadn't really thought about it, but… I think I am."

Caroline nodded and waited for her daughter to come to terms with her situation.

Alex sighed wistfully. "I know it's only been a few months but, I miss them when I'm not with them. Of course I miss Olivia, but sometimes I'll find myself thinking of just Noah. Like during the day at the office…I want to know what he's doing and if he's having a good day. And when he says my name… even though I try to correct him… it's just so cute."

Caroline chuckled. "Oh, darling. What is that saying? You have it bad, don't you?"

Alex dropped her head on the table and groaned. "When did this happen?"

"What did you think would happen, Alexandra? You're in love with a woman with a child. That means they come as a unit."

"I know and I knew that going into it. I told Olivia that to love her is to love him and I meant that wholeheartedly. I did. I suppose I just never expected to…" Alex shrugged having difficulty finding the right words.

"You never expected to feel as much as you do for him?"

Alex nodded. "I knew that I would care for him. I mean, look at him. Who wouldn't love that face."

They both nodded and chuckled.

"But… It's more than that. My heart leaps out of my chest when he falls. When he cries, all I want to do is hold him and make it all better. And when I'm out of the country for work, I feel off and I worry. It's like…"

Caroline smiled as she watched her usually linguistic daughter struggle to find the right words.

"You feel like something is missing?" Caroline provided.

Alex blinked and nodded. "Exactly. How did you…"

"Because that is exactly the way I felt about you when you were a little girl…" She tilted her head and smiled. "I still do and always will… because I'm your mother."

The realization hit Alex like a ton of bricks and nearly knocked the wind out of her. "Oh."

"Yes… oh." Caroline said with a chuckle. Seeing Noah becoming more distracted, she leaned over and lifted him from the high chair placing him in her lap. He instantly became interested in the string of pearls around Caroline's neck. "Hello Noah. I'm Caroline. Can you say Caroline?"

Noah concentrated. "Cow-ine."

"Caroline." She repeated.

"Cow-ine."

Caroline looked delighted. "That will do just fine for now."

Alex watched her usually reserved mother doting playfully on the boy she'd grown to love as her own. It warmed her heart.

"Alexandra darling, it seems to me that you and Olivia need to have a serious talk." She placed a soft kiss on Noah's cheek drawing a toothy grin from him. "… And might I suggest you do it soon. I don't want this child to get too comfortable calling me Caroline. I've always been partial to Nana or perhaps Mimi."

Alex could only shake her head. "Of course, Mother."

"Alright, lunch is officially over. Any ideas how we will spend this beautiful day?" Caroline asked still playing with Noah.

Alex thought for a moment then grinned. "Actually, there is something I could use your help with."

Caroline eyed her daughter. She saw that familiar mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "You're up to something, Alexandra."

"Yes, I am."

* * *

Olivia gulped down her second cup of coffee hoping to drive away the grogginess. Her phone pinged signaling an incoming text message. She smiled softly at the images that popped up. It was a picture of Noah surrounded by stuffed animals at the Disney store. Olivia shook her head. She's going to spoil him rotten. She thought to herself. The second was a picture of Noah in his stroller in front of Saks Fifth Avenue. She is such a Cabot. It was the last picture that really took Olivia by surprise. It was a picture of Noah in Caroline Cabot's arms as they shared an ice cream cone. Her son and the older woman were laughing at each other as if they were old friends. Something about the picture really touched her.

She quickly typed a response.

 _'Looks like you three are having a great time.'-O_

It only took a few seconds for Alex to text back.

 _'The only thing that would make it better would be if you were with us, Love u,' –A_

 _'Love u! You haven't spoiled my kid too much have you?' –O_

 _'I plead the 5th.' –A_

 _'As in Saks 5th Avenue.' –O_

 _'Lol. Very funny. Will you be home for dinner?' –A_

 _'Not sure. Might be late. I'll call Lucy so you can drop Noah off.' –O_

 _'I was hoping I could take him home with me. You can just come to my place after work.' –A_

Olivia paused to think. Alex was obviously worried because another text came through almost instantly.

 _'…If that's okay…' –A_

 _Olivia smiled. 'It's more than okay with me.' –O_

 _'Great! We'll see you later then. Love you.'- A_

 _'Love you too.' –O_

Olivia stared at the phone pondering the situation. She had noticed how easily Alex had become a part of their daily lives. Alex hadn't shied away from spending time with her son. In fact, the blonde seemed to always manage to make time for just her and Noah at least once a week no matter how hectic her schedule was. Olivia had wanted to talk to Alex about what it all meant and what role she saw herself playing in Noah's life for a while now. There just never seemed to be the right time to bring it up. Taking on the role of a parent was a huge deal and the last thing Olivia wanted to do was scare Alex off with too much responsibility too soon.

The approaching voices of Amaro and Rollins pulled Olivia out of her thoughts.

"So here are the similarities so far. All were in their early twenties. They all lived on the Upper East Side or have parents that do."

"Maybe our guy has a thing for rich girls." Fin added.

"They're all college students, but the colleges are different." Rollins continued.

"Both deceased victims had karma carved into their bodies while Angelica recalled the perp saying the word. That's all we have so far."

"So all we know now is that he likes them young and wealthy." Olivia said eyeing the evidence board. "We have to figure out how karma fits into this. That's the key."

"Maybe they're all old girlfriends. What about ex-boyfriends?" Amaro suggested.

"That's what I was thinking, but Celeste Anderson was gay." Rollins reminded them.

"Maybe she dated the guy before she came out. The guy felt jilted and wants revenge?" Fin shrugged. "What goes around comes around and all that. Isn't that what karma is?"

"Maybe." Olivia said shaking her head. "I want you to dig into these girls' lives and I mean dig into everything. Find out who their friends are, what friends they have in common or if they dated the same guys at some point. There is a connection here that we are not seeing. We have three dead girls on our hands and one in the hospital people. I want this guy off the streets before he hurts someone else."

* * *

Hours later, Olivia tiredly made her way into the lobby of Alex's building. She had become a regular visitor over the last few months and the doorman instantly recognized her. He tipped his hat at her as she entered. Alex had given her a permanent pass and key to the express elevator a few weeks after they had started dating in the hopes that Olivia would use it often… and she had.

"Good evening Sergeant.

"Good evening John." She said striding to the elevator.

It had taken Olivia a little while to get used to the trimmings of the Alex's wealth. She lived in a nice comfortable condo in Chelsea, but nothing came close to Alex's Upper East Side penthouse. The place was huge. Olivia was sure she could fit half of her apartment into Alex's living room. She had always known that the blonde came from money, but she had no idea just how much money. It wasn't until Alex sat her down and told her that she had a true understanding of who her girlfriend's family was. The Cabots were old money, Boston Brahmin. Olivia had to admit, she had been overwhelmed at first. Who wouldn't be intimidated but Alex had done her best to relieve her of any anxiety. Alex wasn't a snobby socialite who judged people by their last name. Alex worked for a living and she lived her life with purpose and a need to make a difference in the world. The money didn't define her. It was just a factor that she had to deal with.

The elevator dinged and she stepped off and made her way towards the familiar brown door. After a brief moment of hesitation, she entered the key and waited for the light to flash releasing the tumblers. She stepped inside and found an interesting site.

The usually pristine living room with everything in its place now had a play pin set up in the corner surrounded by toys, stuffed animals, and children's books. The furniture had been rearranged and everything appeared to be baby proofed.

"What in the world…" Olivia mumbled.

"Hey you. I didn't hear you come in." Alex said coming down the hall carrying a freshly bathed Noah who had a sleepy head on Alex's shoulder.

"Hi. I just got here." Olivia leaned in and accepted Alex's kiss before taking the sleepy toddler into her arms. "Hey buddy. Did Alex tire you out today?"

Noah nodded and put his head down on her shoulder. Olivia rubbed his back and looked at Alex. "You guys must have had quite a day."

"We did. Mother insisted on going to this store she'd heard about over on Lexington. She wanted to pick up a few things for him." Alex said not quite meeting her eyes.

Olivia knew that look. She glanced around at the many boxes stacked in the corner. There was a colorful logo on the outside of one of the boxes surrounding the word _'Giggle'_. She'd heard of the place. She also knew it wasn't cheap. Olivia nearly choked when she saw a dozen or more boxes from the Ralph Lauren baby store beside the sofa.

"Alex, what did you do?" Olivia asked slowly.

Alex looked at her innocently and shrugged her shoulders. "We went shopping."

"I thought you were going shopping for you. It looks like the only person who went shopping was Noah."

"I couldn't help myself, Liv. Everything was just so cute and look I even found him a stuffed duck just like Mr. Quackers in case we lose it again. We'll have a spare."

Olivia slowly turned around in a complete circle taking in the entire living room. "Alex, babe I… I can't fit all of this stuff in my place."

"I know. That's why it will just stay here." Alex said simply.

Olivia just stared at her in shock.

Alex thought she looked so cute, she nearly laughed. "Here, let's sit down. He's nearly asleep."

After guiding Olivia to the sofa, she sat down next to her and the sleepy toddler. She ran a hand over his soft cheek and smiled.

"I hope that I don't upset you by what I'm about to say, but I think we need to talk."

Olivia nodded looking worried. She'd never had a conversation that began with those words to ever turn out good.

Alex smiled and squeezed her hand. "Don't worry. I promise that it's nothing bad… at least I don't think it is."

"Okay."

Alex glanced at Olivia and took a deep breath. "Okay. Here it goes. I… I love him, Olivia." Alex said never taking her eyes off of Noah. "I don't really know when or how it happened, but I fell in love with this precious little boy and… I… I just… love him."

Olivia's eyes widened and slowly filled with tears.

Alex shrugged her shoulders not used to being able to express herself verbally. "I… I don't know what that will mean for you, but I hope that you'll allow me to be a part of his life. I want to provide for him… for you too. I don't want to overstep by bounds, but I want to… I want to really be in his life. Do you know what I'm trying to say?"

Olivia looked down at her now sleeping son. She kissed his head gently before meeting anxious blue eyes. "How is it that you're really real?"

Alex looked confused.

"You love me. You love my son. You want to provide for him and take care of him." Olivia eyed her closely as if looking for something. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are?"

Alex blinked. "You're not upset."

Olivia laughed quietly trying not to wake Noah. She shook her head. "No, sweetheart. Why would I be upset about that?"

"I don't know. We haven't talked about this and what it could mean."

"That's my fault. I should have and I wanted to but I didn't want to scare you off by bringing it up too soon. I didn't think it would be a good idea to bring up the responsibilities of a child when you're still in the honeymoon phase of things."

"The child is Noah. He's your child which makes everything different."

Olivia nodded and looked around the room again. She chuckled softly. "Did you leave _anything_ in the stores?"

Alex swatted her arm playfully. "It wasn't all me. My mother can be quite the shopper when she wants to be."

"Well I guess this wasn't too bad. I kinda went overboard on my first baby shopping spree too. I'm still paying that credit card bill off." Olivia held up a hand halting what Alex was about to say. "And before you even say anything, you cannot pay it off for me. I can handle it."

Alex bit her lip and nodded. "I can accept that, but you need to understand that I'm going to want to help you with him."

Olivia nodded. "I understand and can accept that too."

"Good."

"Now was there anything else we needed to talk about?"

Alex looked away nervously. Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Out with it. What did you do? You didn't buy him a car did you?" She asked jokingly.

"No…."

"Alexandra?"

"We should put him to bed." Alex stood and started making her way down the hallway knowing Olivia would follow.

Olivia frowned when Alex opened the door to the room across from the master bedroom. She knew that room was mostly empty. Alex usually kept some of her more expensive shoes there. When Alex flicked on the lights, she gasped.

"Oh my god." Olivia whispered as she stepped inside.

The room now had a gorgeous dark wooden crib with yellow and blue bedding similar to the one Noah had at home along with a matching changing table, book shelves complete with books and stuffed animals, and a beautiful rocking chair.

Alex stood off to the side watching Olivia take everything in. "I didn't do any decorating. I was hoping you'd want to do that with me."

"Alex… Alex, this is too…"

Alex shook her head and stepped forward. "When I said I wanted to be in his life, I meant I want him in my life too. I want you and Noah to have a place here… in my home… our home."

Olivia blinked. "Are you… Are you asking us to move in with you?"

"I would really like you to, but I know it's still a little soon for that. Maybe you could spend more time here and see how it goes. Maybe we could talk about it again in a few months. What do you think?" Alex asked nervously.

Olivia gently placed Noah in the new crib and tucked him in. When she turned around, she had tears on her face. Alex was there instantly.

"Hey, what's wrong? It's too much isn't it? I can send all this back. I can send it all back if you don't…"

Alex words were cut off by the brunette's lips on hers. Olivia kissed her with all the love and passion should could evoke. When she pulled back, Alex was stunned into silence. Olivia stroked her face with gentle fingers.

"This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. I can't even… come up with the words to describe how you make me feel."

"I love you." Alex said simply.

Olivia laughed. Leave it to the attorney to have the perfect words. "I guess those three words would work too. I love you, Alexandra Cabot. And now…" Olivia swiftly lifted Alex up by the thighs allowing the blonde to wrap her legs around her waist. "… now I'm going to show you just how much."

Alex smiled into the kiss as Olivia made her way towards the door. "Wait!"

Olivia grumbled as she pulled her mouth away from Alex's neck. "What now? You really did buy him a car didn't you?"

Alex laughed as Olivia went back to kissing her neck. "No. I just need to grab that monitor in case he wakes up. He's still not used to sleeping here alone."

Olivia flashed a smile and shook her head pausing long enough for the blonde to pick up the small monitor and turn out the light.

"Look at you, being all parental. I like it."

"Oh shut up and take me to bed."

"Yes dear."

 **TBC**

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Here is the next chapter. Like always, your feedback is appreciated.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU and all characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

Several weeks went by and the squad made very little progress in what the media had dubbed the 'Karma Killings'. Every lead turned out to be a dead end. All four cases had gone cold. On paper, there was nothing connecting these girls. They didn't have the same friends. They didn't attend the same colleges. They were four random girls in the city of New York.

Other than the knife Angelica Ross had used to protect herself, they had no evidence to speak of, which meant Olivia had to deliver the devastating news to the families of their three deceased victims that they were no closer to finding the person who had committed this heinous act against their loved ones. After spending most of the morning speaking with the parents of the victims, Olivia was physically and mentally drained and longed to see the only two people who could soothe her troubled soul. She longed to see her own family.

The thought made Olivia smile. She'd never had a proper family before. Then Noah came into her life and it was him and her against the world. Now, her family consisted of more than just Noah and herself. They had Alex now. Alex had been serious when she said she wanted to be more actively involved in Noah's life. Since that night a month prior, Alex had been spending more time with them both. Because the attorney's hours were more flexible, Alex was the one who picked Noah up from daycare most days. It became a common occurrence for Noah to spend the night at Alex's when Olivia knew she would be home late as well. Noah's nanny, Lucy, even commented that she felt like she was getting a free wage these days.

However, that would not be the case tonight. Alex had left for Rome two days prior and wouldn't be back for another three. Olivia was missing her terribly and obviously Noah was too. Every time someone came into the room, he'd look up almost as if he'd been expecting his favorite blonde playmate. Tonight was much of the same, but Noah was having a mini meltdown at the moment. He'd gotten used to Alex reading to him at night. He kept asking for 'Ayesh'. After an hour of no success, Olivia decided to send Alex a text to see if she was available. Due to the time difference, Olivia didn't have much hope, but amazingly, Alex had called back almost instantly.

"Hey you. Isn't it bedtime for you two?" Alex asked.

"Hi and yes it is, but someone is not cooperating. He's missing his Ayesh."

Alex sighed. "Oh, I miss him too."

"I was thinking that he might calm down a little if he heard your voice… if you're not too busy."

"First of all, I'm never too busy for you two and I just happen to have about a half hour free before we reconvene proceedings so I'm at your disposal for whatever you need."

"Great. I'm going to put you on speaker phone now."

Olivia tapped the screen of the phone and Alex's voice suddenly came through. Noah, who was still crying, suddenly stopped at the familiar alto voice.

"Hi Noah. Can you hear me, my little prince?"

Noah's teary eyes widened and a toothy grin spread across his flushed face. "Ayesh?" He said looking to his mother for an explanation.

Olivia smiled at him and nodded. "Yes. Your Alex is on the phone sweetie. Do you want to talk to her?"

He wiggled in his seat and reached out for the phone as if he could get closer to Alex. "Ayesh!"

"Hi, Noah." Alex cooed. "I miss you, sweetie."

Olivia's heart melted as she watched her son drop his head against her chest and smile at the phone.

"I think he just wants to listen to you, Alex."

"Okay. How about I tell you that story you like, Noah."

Noah stuck his thumb into his mouth and relaxed even further against his mother.

Olivia turned up the volume on the speakerphone and lay back on the sofa with Noah lying comfortably on her chest. She began rubbing his back gently as he listened. Alex told Noah a story that she had made up for him and within ten minutes Noah was sound asleep and so was Olivia.

Alex waited and listened to the two soft snores coming through the phone. "Goodnight my darlings." She smiled and ended the call.

The following morning was much of the same for Olivia. It was dull and boring because she missed Alex just as much as Noah did. She got up, got Noah fed and ready for his day, and then headed off to work.

It turned out to be another routine day at the office. She was about to call Lucy to tell her she was heading home for the evening when Rollins poked her head through the door.

"Hey Sarg. Someone just called saying they found a body near Central Park. They said there were letters burned on the skin."

Olivia sighed. She knew what that meant.

"Alright. Let's move."

* * *

Olivia and Fin stood to the side as ME Warner began the autopsy of their latest victim. This girl hadn't been as lucky as Angelica Ross. It was obvious that the killer had taken his frustration out on this girl.

Olivia didn't always attend the autopsies of their victims, but she wanted to be present for this one. This was their fifth victim. She knew they were missing something and she was hoping seeing this part of things would help.

Once the medical examiner reached a stopping point, she looked up and addressed the sergeant and detective. "Cause of death is exsanguination. The aorta was severed and she bled out."

"Was that before or after he stabbed her?" Olivia asked moving closer with Melinda's consent.

Melinda moved aside and pointed to several wounds along the body. "These wounds are superficial. They probably wouldn't have been fatal. They were performed post mortem."

Fin frowned and pulled at his goatee. "So he stabs her after he cuts her throat?"

Melinda nodded. "The cut to her the throat was much deeper than before. He used a lot of force to cut that deep."

Olivia grimaced. "What about the letters? Before or after?"

"After as well. See how there is no blistering or thickening of the skin?" She gestured around the edges of the letters. "You would have seen that if the victim had been alive when this occurred. There was no blood circulating in the body when these were put there."

"Just like Ascott." Olivia stated.

"How long would it take to incapacitate her after the aorta is severed?" Fin questioned.

"No time at all. With this type of cut, she would have been dead within less than a minute." Melinda said sadly looking at the lifeless body.

"So…he kills her then mutilates and burns her." Olivia thought for a minute. "It's not about the torture."

"What do you mean?" Fin asked.

"I don't think these attacks were about the women. We've been trying to connect these girls, but it's not about them. I don't think there's a connection between these girls at all."

"I'm not following you, Liv." Fin said looking skeptical.

"Think about it. If the perp was pissed at these women in particular because they did something to him, he wouldn't kill them then torture them."

Fin nodded. "He would have kept them alive as long as possible."

"Right." Olivia nodded. "But he does the opposite. He kills them in a way that they die quickly then cuts them superficially as Melinda said. This is the only time he's used so much force."

"It was because he was angry about Angelica Ross surviving." Fin supplied.

Olivia nodded. "And he also burns them after the fact. They don't experience any of that pain and torture."

"He's doing this for the attention." Fin added.

"The question is who does he want the attention from, us or is he sending the message to someone else?"

The shrill sound of Fin's phone erupts in the quiet room. "Tutuola."

A few moments later, he hangs up and turns to Olivia. "We're needed back upstairs. Rollins thinks she has something."

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** I am so sorry for the delay in updating. The last couple of weeks have been busy for me and writing just didn't make the agenda. I tried to make this one a little longer than the last to try to make amends. Hopefully, you will enjoy it. Like always, please let me know what you think. I like hearing your opinions and suggestions. This has not been proofread well so proceed at your own risk.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU and all characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

"So here is what we've got so far. All of the vics are early twenties, college students, come from wealthy families, and live on the Upper East Side."

Olivia nodded impatiently. "Guys, this isn't anything new. We knew this information already."

"True, but I think there's more to it. Just bear with me for a second." Rollins asked.

Olivia folded her arms and nodded.

"Okay. So, our first victim, Annabeth Chambers, it looked like her background was the same but I tracked down one of her friends from boarding school. According to her, Annabeth was gay."

"And how does she know this?" Olivia asked.

"The girl says she was involved with Annabeth. They were more than just friends…like girlfriends." Rollins responded placing a picture of the victim with a pretty brunette on the screen. The picture certainly suggested this to be true.

The team perked up a little.

"Celeste Anderson was gay too." Fin added.

Rollins nodded. "Yep, which is why I did some more digging into Angelica Ross' life as well as Charlotte Ascott's."

"What did you find?" Olivia asked.

"Ross wasn't very forthcoming about her personal life. Apparently, her family is devoutly Catholic. Anyway, I went back a little further. I went back through her old school records and I noticed that there was an odd break in her attendance in school… like a several month long break. So, I asked around and finally one of her old teachers said that Angelica had some personal issues and the family kept her out and homeschooled her while they dealt with them. The teacher went on to say that Angelica eventually ran away but suddenly reappeared a few weeks later just in time for graduation… announcing that she was getting married."

"What?"

"Yep. The teacher said Angelica confided in her that she had tried to come out to her family, but the parents threatened to disown her. Apparently, the father made Angelica believe it was a phase and pressured her to get married to the son of a family friend."

"What we know about the ex-husband?"

"His name is Raymond Ross. He said he really cared about Angelica even though deep down he knew Angelica didn't really love him. Eventually they came to their senses and had the marriage annulled."

"And how do we know he's not good for this?" Fin asked.

"Shortly after, Raymond joined the military and has been stationed in Iraq for the last eighteen months. There is no way to connect him to this. But, the good thing is Raymond can confirm that Angelica is gay. He said it was the main reason they got the annulment."

Olivia ran a hand over her brow and nodded. "What about Ascott?" She asked.

"I couldn't confirm anything concrete, but a few of her friends said that they think she dated both. She was at the very least bi-sexual."

"So our perp is targeting them because they're gay." Fin said angrily. "Bastard!"

Olivia gave his arm a soft squeeze. She knew how difficult it was for Fin to see things like this sinse his own son, Ken, had been affected by a gay bashing that had left his fiancé, Alejandro clinging to life in a hospital.

"So we're looking at a hate crime." Amaro added.

"Right now, our first concern is to find this guy. What did the lab find from our latest victim?" Olivia asked trying to keep everyone focused.

"There was a silk blend fiber found on the victim's clothing. That's it." Rollins added.

Olivia looked at the pictures lined up on the screen and sighed. They now knew what could be motivating this guy and who he was targeting, but they were still nowhere on identifying him.

"Okay. I want you guys to go back to the area and recanvas the area." She said pointing to Amaro and Fin. She then turned to Rollins. "I want you to re-interview the all the family and close friends again. Now that we know this is a common thread, we know what to ask. Also, ask about their classes, daily routines, and especially their social lives. They may have been good girls, but I don't know many college students who don't like a good party or a club every now and then. Maybe that's how our guys found them."

After receiving their assignments, the detectives all scattered and headed out to complete their tasks.

Left standing alone, Olivia stared at the pictures of the victims. Her stomach turned. This hit a little too close to home for her. The idea that these young women had been targeted simply because of who they loved caused an uneasy feeling to fall over Olivia. She pulled out her phone and went into her office. Once she was seated, she tapped the name on the top of her favorites list.

A few moment passed before a familiar voice answered.

"Well hello sweetheart. This is a pleasant surprise."

Olivia closed her eyes at the sound of her beloved's voice. "Hey Alex." She said softly.

It was only two words, buy Alex could tell by Olivia's tone that something was off. "What's wrong? Is everything okay? Is it Noah?"

Olivia smiled softly at Alex's immediate concern for her son. "No. Everything is fine. I just… I just missed you and wanted to hear your voice."

"I miss you too." Alex said.

Olivia could hear movement and talking in the background. She immediately felt bad. She knew Alex was extremely busy. She had a very important job that made a huge impact on others. The last thing Olivia wanted was to distract Alex when she needed to be focusing.

"Stop that." Alex said interrupting her thoughts. "I'm never too busy for you. My meeting was just wrapping up anyway."

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Know what I'm thinking without me having to say anything?"

"It's easy. I know the woman I love. Now stop stalling and tell me what's going on."

"It's really nothing."

"Olivia." Alex warned.

"I promise that it's nothing. I was just having a rough day and your voice always makes it better. Mother like son, I guess." Olivia said trying to evade the question.

Alex paused. "I know something is up, but I'll let it go… for now."

"Thank you babe." Olivia said leaning back in her chair fingering the picture of Alex and Noah on her desk. "So how is it going over there?"

"So far so good. I should be home as expected."

"That's great. I can't wait to see you. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

Olivia's desk phone started to ring interrupting their moment. Olivia glanced at the small screen. She groaned at the sight. "I'm sorry, Alex. It's the Chief of Detectives calling. I have to take it."

"Alright. I'll give you a call later tonight. Try not to stress too much okay?"

"I'll try."

"I love you, Liv."

That made Olivia smile a little. "I love you too."

Placing her cell phone aside, she took a deep breath before picking up the desk phone. "Sergeant Benson speaking."

* * *

It was after ten o'clock when Olivia finally made it home. Lucy had already put Noah to bed. After relieving the young nanny of her duties, she stood in the doorway and just watched Noah's little chest rise and fall as he slept. He looked so peaceful. She wished she could make sure he was always this safe and content, but she knew that wasn't possible. The world could be a dangerous place with people who wanted to hurt other people.

After turning out the light and adjusting the monitor, Olivia started making her way towards her bedroom when she heard a noise at the door. She paused and watched the locks slide and the door begin to open. She drew her weapon with practiced ease as the door swung open. There struggling with her Louis Vuitton luggage stood Alexandra Cabot in all of her beautiful glory.

Olivia blinked a few times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating before she quickly re-holstered her weapon and jumped into action. She grabbed the bags and helped the blonde inside. "What are you doing here?"

Alex smiled tiredly. "Surprise. I'm back early."

Olivia was still looking at her in shock.

"I could tell you were stressed last night when we spoke so I wrapped things up early and booked the earliest flight available as soon as I ended our call. I was actually half way home when I spoke with you again this morning. The commotion you heard was actually me waiting for my connecting flight, not the end of a meeting." Alex explained. "I didn't want to tell you in case I couldn't make it."

Olivia pulled the blonde into her arms and held her tight. Alex could feel the tension in Olivia's body. She allowed the older woman to hold her as long as she needed. "I could have shot you." Olivia whispered into her ear.

Alex held her tighter and chuckled. "I know and we will have to talk about that, but later."

I'm glad you're home." Olivia said thick with emotion.

Alex finally pulled back and gave Olivia a long meaningful kiss. She caressed the brunette's face taking in the dark circles under those beautiful eyes. "Are you ready to tell me what's going on now?"

Olivia nodded. Alex pulled her over to the sofa. She kicked off her heals and sat down pulling Olivia down to lie down with her head in her lap. Olivia took a moment to enjoy the sensation of Alex's hands in her hair. This was the first time her apartment felt like home in nearly a week. She closed her eyes and recounted the events of the past few days and what they had discovered that morning.

"What are we going to do if we can't catch this guy and he kills again, Alex? He's going after these girls because of their sexuality."

"You're going to catch him. He's already made a few mistakes and he will make another one and when he does, you'll be there." Alex said.

"But…"

"No buts. The only thing you can do is your job, Olivia. You're doing that. You will catch him. I have faith in you, baby."

Olivia snorted. "I'm glad that at least you do. If we don't find this sonofabitch soon, you and I both know that Brass is going to have my head on a platter."

"And we will deal with it together if it comes to that. Right now, I just want you to relax and let me be here for you."

Olivia looked up into Alex's eyes, still taken by the beauty of them. She pulled one of Alex's hand up to her lips and kissed the soft fingertips. "Thank you for coming home. I know you're insanely busy, but just having you here helps."

Alex kept stroking her head with her free hand and whispering reassuring words until Olivia closed her eyes again. Alex thought she had drifted off when Olivia suddenly spoke.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything. You know that."

"How did your parents react when you came out?"

Alex blinked at the sudden change of subject. "That's kind of out of the blue. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. It's just this case. One of the victim's family threatened to disown her if she lived openly. I was just wondering what it was like for you. You've never talked about how your family took it."

Alex thought for a moment. "To be completely honest, I don't think I ever really came out, so to speak, to my parents."

"Uh…" Olivia frowned. "What?"

"What I mean is… I never actually had to tell them. When I entered high school, I was too busy making sure I made good grades to be concerned with dating. I went to an all-girls boarding school so I was around females all the time. A girl crush wasn't that uncommon. Eventually, I did notice that I found my neighbor Tammy Breckenridge more attractive than her older brother Tommy." She shrugged her shoulders. "That was probably the first big clue, but it never really crossed my mind as something to be concerned about. It wasn't until college that I really got it."

"Really?"

Alex nodded. "I think my mother always knew. When I was at Harvard, she started fixing me up with all of the sons of all of her friends but I was never interested. When I was a junior, the roommate that I had a crush on came home with me for a visit. Mother watched us like a hawk. After that weekend, she just stopped trying to fix me up and we never talked about it."

"What about your father?"

"In one of the last conversations I had with my father before he died, he mentioned it in his own way. He said, 'Alexandra, my greatest hope is that you eventually find the ** _person_** who can make you as happy as your mother has made me.' Now, anyone who knew my father knew that he was brilliant with words. He was always careful with what he said and he _never_ misspoke. The fact that he said person instead of man told me everything I needed to know."

"So you never actually told them you were attracted to women?"

Alex shook her head. "No. Ironically enough, I don't think my sexuality was ever a concern for my parents, mother in particular. I think she was more concerned that I'd end up spending my life alone or with someone who didn't really love me rather than if I ended up spending it with a woman. She didn't bat an eye when I told her that the love of my life was a dashing, female sergeant with the NYPD. She's probably more concerned about what's taking me so long to give her grandchildren."

Olivia snorted. "Wow. Talk about progressive parents."

Alex took a moment to run a gentle finger over Olivia's smooth cheek. "I'm not naïve, Olivia. I know I was extremely lucky. A lot of parents… who came from a background similar to mine wouldn't have been so accepting."

"You mean rich?" Olivia asked with a smirk.

Alex chuckled and playfully pinched Olivia in the side eliciting a soft chuckle. "I prefer privileged, but I suppose you could say that."

Olivia brought Alex's hand back to her lips and kissed it again. "You don't have to downplay who you are, Alex. The size of your bank account doesn't matter to me. It never has. I love you for you."

"I know you do and you cannot know what that means to me." Alex leaned down and kissed her softly. "I guess what I was trying to say is that people from that world usually don't like anything that could tarnish the family name… even if it means their child is miserable pretending to be something they're not. I can't even begin to tell you how many of my childhood friends ended up with alcohol and drug addictions because of the pressure. That could have been me. My parents could have threatened to disown me or send me away, but they didn't. They let me be me and I will always be grateful to them for that."

"Me too." Olivia said softly.

"What about you?" Alex asked after a moment of quiet.

"I never told my mother. I didn't get the chance." Olivia said a little sadly.

"You didn't?"

Olivia shook her head. "You already know that my mother and I had a contentious relationship. She loved me as best she knew how and I loved her too. But there were certain things that we just couldn't talk about; my father, her drinking, and my sexuality were on the top of the list."

Olivia bit her lip and glanced up at Alex. "I met you a few months before she died. Do you remember that?"

Alex nodded. "I do."

"Well, I'd had a few umm… encounters with women before but it was just… sexual. I had never actually felt strongly enough about anyone to consider telling my mom about them… until you." She shyly glanced at Alex before continuing. "I knew what I felt for you was real and I wanted to tell her about it… about this other side of me…even though I was sure you would never feel the same."

Alex stared at Olivia for a moment. She had no words to express how much she loved this woman. She simply leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Olivia's forehead.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Alex found her voice.

"From what you've told me about her, I have a feeling that she probably knew and was okay with it."

Olivia smiled softly. "There was a time when I wouldn't have believed that, but now… I think you might be right."

"What changed?"

"Noah. You know… I never really understood her until… he came into my life. Being his mother has made me see her in a different light in some ways. She wasn't perfect by a long shot. She made a lot of mistakes, but she always tried. She did the best she could. And now… I'm going to make sure I don't make those same mistakes with him. He's going to always know that I will love him no matter what he does or who he loves."

"That's what makes you such a wonderful mother." Alex said thoughtfully.

Olivia watched the emotions play out over the blonde's face. They had become more attuned to one another's habits and mannerisms over the last couple of months. She could tell something was on her girlfriend's mind.

"Now that I've cleared my conscious, you want to tell me what's bouncing around in that big brain of yours, Counselor?"

Alex bit her lip. "I was just thinking… about my job."

"What about it?"

"I'm not sure the ICC is the right fit for me anymore."

Olivia squinted her eyes at the blonde. "I thought you loved being the legal crusader?"

"I do. I enjoy the work immensely but…"

"What is it?"

"I enjoy the work, but not so much the traveling."

Olivia just stared at her unsure how she should respond. She simply waited for Alex to elaborate.

"It's a great job. I like that what I do makes a direct impact on the world, but I don't like being away from you so much. I could feel that you were having a difficult week and I hated that I couldn't be here. And I… I don't like being away from Noah. Every time I leave and come back, it looks like he's grown and changed." She shrugged her shoulders and looked sheepishly at Olivia. "Is it too soon for me to say that?"

"No, of course not. You know how much I miss you when you're away." Olivia sat up and took Alex's hands into her own. "Noah misses you too. Every single time the door opened, he kept looking up for you during this last trip. He adores you. You know that."

"I adore him."

"What are you thinking about doing?"

"I… I don't know yet. Is that okay?" Alex said apprehensively. "I guess I just wanted you to know that… it's something I've been thinking about."

Olivia nodded and brought Alex's hand up and placed it over her heart. "I'm glad you told me. I would never expect you to quit your job, Alex. You're brilliant at it and I am so proud of you. And it is nice to know that you think of me and Noah as priorities in your life."

Alex leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Olivia's lips. "You're everything."

Olivia went to respond only for a yawn to take over. Alex chuckled as she stood up. She took Olivia by the hand pulled her up. "Come on. You're dead on your feet and so am I. Let's go to bed. Saving the world and all the other problems will have to wait until tomorrow."

Olivia nodded and allowed Alex to pull her down the hall to the bedroom.

* * *

When another body was found a week later, it was like experiencing Déjà vu for Olivia. This case had turned into the nightmare that would never end.

"There was no ID in the purse but there were pictures on the phone." Amaro said holding up a phone in an evidence bag. "I'm sure we can get some identification from the contacts and pictures."

Olivia fell into step as they made their way over to the taped off area. ME Warner was crouching over the body. The woman looked up and gestured for Olivia to come over.

"Hey Melinda, same MO?"

"Yes and no." Melinda said carefully.

Olivia looked at her confused. "What do you mean?"

"I found something new on the body."

Olivia and Amaro perked up. "What did you find? Is it something we can use to find this guy?"

"I'm not sure, but I think he's wanting _you_ in particular to find him." Melinda said quietly.

Olivia frowned. "What?"

Melinda lifted a clear evidence bag with small white piece of paper inside. "I found this in her mouth."

Olivia leaned down to get a closer look. Her eyes widened. "That's my card."

They all stared in shock at the small white business card that read _Olivia J. Benson: Sergeant and Commanding Officer of the NYPD Special Victim's Unit._

"Look at the back." Melinda instructed.

Olivia flipped the bag over. She froze and turned deathly pale. _"You will finally get what you deserve Sergeant."_

TBC.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** I apologize for the delay in posting. It's hard to think about writing when your life implodes. This chapter is a lot shorter than what I usually post, but it's a start. Hopefully, things will calm down and I can get back to writing more. Thank you to the readers who have remained interested. I appreciated the messages. Like always, let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer** : Law & Order SVU and all characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

An hour later, Olivia was back in the squad room going over the cases once again. She kept one eye on the evidence board and the other on her office which now held Noah and his nanny Lucy. Seeing that note from the killer had upset everything in Olivia's world. She'd been in this job long enough to know better than to take anything for granted. If this killer wanted revenge, the obvious target would be the most precious person in her life; her son. At least with Noah here, Olivia could make sure he was safe.

"Hey, how's the little guy?" Amaro asked.

"He's fine. Lucy is keeping him occupied."

"I think you did the right thing bringing him here, but…"

"But what?" Olivia asked, noticing his hesitation.

"Maybe you should take a step back from this one. If this guy is coming after you, you should be in protective custody."

Olivia bristled at the thought, but tried not to lash out at him. He was only trying to help. "Nick, if he wanted me, he could have gotten to me weeks ago. Now are you going to help me go over this or not?"

Nick nodded knowing when to back off. "I'm with you boss."

"Good. Now, did the crime lab find any DNA or anything useful from the card?"

Nick shook his head. "No prints. No DNA"

"Damn!" Olivia said angrily. Nick gave her shoulder a squeeze. She took a deep breath and refocused her thoughts. After a quick glance into her office at Noah, she looked back at the evidence board.

The photos of all four deceased victims and their single surviving victim were there. She looked at each photo closely. "He chose these women to make a point. He wants _**me**_ to figure out the connection. Why can't I see it?"

"We're gonna get it. We just gotta keep looking." Nick said taking a stack of files.

* * *

For the next hour, the detectives combed over every piece of evidence from each case again and again. It wasn't until Fin put an older picture of the second and fourth victims on the screen that something seemed to click.

"Wait a minute." Rollins said tilting her head. "Are those of the victims?"

Fin nodded. "Yeah. Old high school photos from their homes."

"Those don't match the autopsy photos." Olivia stated scrutinizing the images. "The hair color is different."

Everyone stopped. Olivia moved in closer. "Look. These girls obviously dyed their hair. If you look at all of their earlier family photos, they're… blonde with…" She swallowed hard as the realization hit her all at once. Her heart started to pace. "…blue eyes."

"Yeah, they are." Nick said slowly standing.

Olivia inhaled sharply as she turned to face them. "The… the names."

"What are you talking about, Sarg?" Carisi asked trying to follow.

"The names! The fucking names! How could we miss that?!" She shook her head. "A & C, Annabeth Chambers and Celeste Anderson… Charlotte Ascott and Cassidy Armstrong." Olivia kept raddling off the names as she patted her pockets for her phone.

Rollins frowned. "But… But what about Angelica Ross? He attacked her and she didn't have those initials.

A deep gut wrenching ache swirled in Olivia's stomach. She paused and turned to see Noah in her office laughing. She could hear his little voice in her head. _'Ayesh!'_ Her eyes were filled with a mixture of fear and remorse. "Yeah, she does. She was married to Raymond Ross remember? She must have kept the name even after the marriage ended. I'd bet my life that her maiden name begins with a C."

Rollins pulled up the file and sighed. "You're right. It's Camden."

Fin instantly caught on to what Olivia was thinking. "Now hold on, Liv. It could just be a coincidence."

Olivia rubbed the bridge of her nose and began to pace. "What are we taught the first day on the job, Fin? There are no coincidences. You think it's a coincidence that all the victims were blonde with blue eyes, wealthy, with the initials AC? That would be one hell of a fluke." She swallowed the lump in her throat. She suddenly felt lightheaded. "Rollins… what were these girls majors at their colleges?"

Rollins frowned. She quickly sorted through all the information she'd collected. She looked up and met Olivia's eyes and it all became clear to her. "They… they were all pre-law majors."

All the detectives froze as they watched as Olivia finally locate her phone. She snatched it up and dialed. Everyone waited in anxious silence.

"Hello, this is Alexandra Cabot…"

"Alex, thank God! Listen…" Olivia frantically called out only to be interrupted by…'I'm unable to take your call at the moment. Please leave your name and a brief message and I will return your call at my earliest convenience."

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** I won't even try to apologize for the delay in posts. I've been busy you guys. Here is the next chapter. I hope you like it. Like always, let me know your opinions. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC. I own nothing. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

"Are you sure, you didn't see anyone come in here?" Olivia asked Alex's secretary, Kevin, a second time as she looked around the empty office.

"I'm sure. The place was empty when I came back from lunch."

Olivia frowned. "And that didn't seem odd to you?"

"No. I…I thought Ms. Cabot was inside working. She only closes that bloody door when she doesn't want to be bothered." He said shaking his head.

"When did you realize she wasn't in the office?" Fin asked.

"Uh… it was around one o'clock I guess. She hadn't left for her afternoon appointment yet so I went inside to remind her. What's this about?"

Fin stepped closer ignoring his question. "Who was the meeting with?"

"Umm…" Kevin reached over to grab the calendar on his desk. He winced and shook his arm. "Sorry. Went too hard on the weight-lifting this week." He said winking at Olivia.

Olivia rolled her eyes impatiently at his weak attempt at flirting. "The meeting?"

"Oh, yeah. The Ambassador from the UN, David McDonald. The meeting was a pretty big deal so… like I said I went in to remind her so she wouldn't be late. That's when I noticed the office was empty." He shrugged his broad shoulders. "I didn't think anything of it especially since she called back and had me cancel the remainder of her day."

Olivia whipped around. "Wait. Alex called you?"

He nodded slowly unsure what of what was going on. "Yeah, like a couple of hours ago. She said that she'd gotten a text or something from her girlfriend and..."

Olivia's entire body tensed. "What _**exactly**_ did Alex say to you, word for word?"

"What's this about?"

"Just answer the damn question." Olivia barked.

The young secretary swallowed hard at the Sergeant's intense gaze. "Uh… Uh…"

"Look, I'm her girlfriend and I didn't send her a text! There was no emergency! This is important. So I need you to focus that little pee brain of yours and tell me exactly what Alex said!" Olivia berated.

Fin reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder trying to keep her calm.

"Alright! Ms. Cabot said that someone called and there was an emergency. I remember her saying that she was going to pick up her girlfriend's… uh… I mean your kid. Then she said she wouldn't be returning to the office today. That's all she said. I swear."

Olivia and Fin glanced at each other before they bolted for the exit.

"This is Detective Tutuola, Badge number 3198. I need two units to the home of Sergeant Olivia Benson at 101 West 27th Street, Apt. 4 B. Proceed with caution."

"Alex." Olivia whispered as they sped away.

* * *

The scene at Olivia's apartment was eerily quiet. Everything was just as she had left it that morning. Nothing appeared out of place. Proceeding with caution, a team of officers moved through the apartment, guns drawn and alert. Olivia could vaguely hear Fin yelling for her to wait in the background. She had tunnel vision. The only thing she could think about was getting to Alex.

The pressure in Olivia's chest only got heavier with each step further into her home. Something inside was already telling her that the apartment would be empty and she was right. Olivia stood looking around her empty living room trying to keep what was left of her sanity intact.

"This doesn't make sense." Olivia mumbled. "None of this makes sense." She looked around suspiciously taking in the entire room. Suddenly, something caught her attention. There was a picture of Alex and Noah that usually sat on the mantle of the fireplace. It was her favorite photo and her eyes were always drawn to it when she walked into her home. The picture frame had been moved and there was a small white card sitting in its place. She nudged Fin. "There."

Fin followed her gaze and was able to hold her back before Olivia had a chance to grab it.

"Wait! It might have trace evidence." He pulled out his gloves and slipped them on.

Olivia wrung her hands and waited anxiously as Fin examined the card. "What does it say?"

Fin sighed and met Olivia's eyes. _"She's mine now."_

Olivia's heart plummeted. Her legs trembled and she slumped to the floor unable to stand. She felt weak and unable to breathe. She felt like she was under water; the voices and sounds suddenly muffled. Everything around her moved in slow motion. She could see Amaro calling for a BOLO, giving dispatch a description of Alex. She could see Fin and Rollins standing across the room inspecting a purse. She instantly recognized it. She'd know Alex's ridiculously expensive Prada bag anywhere.

Olivia could see them looking in her direction. The glum expressions on their faces said more than a thousand words could have.

"He has her." Olivia said in a shaky voice she could barely recognize as her own.

Suddenly feeling sick, she rushed to the bathroom in the hallway. Fin watched her with sympathetic eyes. Feeling the need to protect his friend from the prying eyes of a room full of officers, Fin slipped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He stood aside as she continued to empty the contents of her stomach. Once finished, Fin ran cool water over a washcloth and handed it to her.

"Here. Just take a few deep breaths. Come on baby, you gotta keep it together so we can figure this thing out."

"That sick bastard has Alex. He has her, Fin. I can't… I… I can't..."

"Breathe. Come on. Breathe."

Olivia took a few deep breaths trying to get her emotions back in check.

"I love her. She means…everything to me, Fin. I can't lose her again. I can't…"

"Hey!" He grabbed Olivia roughly by the arms. "Hey, look at me!" He waited until her terrified eyes met his. "Cabot is smart. She's one the smartest people I know and on top of that, she's tough as nails. Hell, Munch used to call her Teflon. She knows how these guys think… probably better than most. She's knows what to do to stay safe."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Olivia whispered. She looked at him with anguished eyes. "Fin, you saw what he did to those women. What if he…"

"Hey, don't go there. You're a cop. You have to think like a cop now. Think about it. He left that card for a reason right? He's been trying to get your attention all this time. He wanted you to know which means he will keep Cabot alive because he wants something from you. So I need you to get your head in the game so we can figure out who this bastard is and be ready when he makes contact okay?"

Olivia took a deep breath and nodded. "O… Okay. Okay."

"I got your back baby. Alex is family and we take care of family. We'll get her back." Fin said with conviction. _"Or die trying,"_ was left unsaid.

* * *

TBC. Remember to review.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Sorry this update took so long. Life is my only excuse. Like always, let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU belongs to NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

The first thing Alex became aware of was the stinging pain in her wrist and arms. Her eyes blinked open slightly only to be quickly slammed shut as the bright light above sent a sharp wave of pain through her head. She felt sluggish and the room seemed to be spinning. She let out a pitiful moan as the contents of her stomach threatened to rebel.

"Wh…What the hell?"

Her eyes felt heavy and gritty as if they were filled with sand. She tried to pull herself out of the heady grogginess but found the pull of sleep much too strong. Her eyes slipped shut and she fell back into a drug induced sleep.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she awoke the second time. Judging by the stiffness of her body, it had been a couple of hours at the very least. She again blinked at the bright light and turned her head away trying to shield herself from the glare. It took a few minutes, but her eyes eventually adjusted to her surroundings. She glanced around finding the room blurry and out of focus. It took her a few more minutes to get her bearings.

Alex tried to sit up but soon realized she was bound to a bed. A wave of fear washed over her as she fought to remember the events that had brought her current predicament.

 _"The last thing I remember was…"_

Alex recalled having a normal day at the office until she had gotten a text from Olivia asking if she could go relieve Lucy because the nanny had an emergency. Alex had thought nothing of it and promptly went to Olivia's apartment to do just that. Looking back, she now knew that the text obviously had come from someone other than Olivia.

She remembered arriving at Olivia's apartment only to find it empty. She had gone towards the toddler's bedroom in search of Noah and Lucy. As soon as she'd crossed the threshold into the nursery, she felt someone grab her from behind placing a cloth over her nose. That was the last thing Alex could recall before waking up in this strange place.

She looked around at the quaint room. Fortunately, it was a neatly kept and somewhat clean, but there were no windows. There was a small desk with a television mounted on the wall above.

"What the hell is going on?" Alex mumbled.

She tested the restraints again. Frustrated, she lay back and stared at the ceiling.

"Think Alex, think." Alex mumbled. "Don't panic. Think. Olivia will know and she will find you. Just stay calm and don't panic."

The sound of the door opening made her heart race. She held her breath as an image came into view. She gasped.

"Hello Alexandra."

Alex tried to jerk away as her captor placed a hand on her arm. "What are you doing?"

"Shhh… just relax. This will help."

Alex felt a sharp prick on her arm. A moment later, the room started to become hazy as images swam out of focus again.

"Why?" She managed to ask.

"Because she took what should have been mine. You were always supposed to be mine."

* * *

As each hour passed, the same thoughts kept playing over and over in Olivia's mind like a rewinding tape. What makes up a life? Is a life more than a series of moments strung together by a common denominator? How was it possible for her life to unravel so easily… so quickly?

Her thoughts were consumed with all the moments that made up her life… the life she was building with Alex and Noah. She kept replaying the last few moments she'd shared with the blonde the night before.

 _"I don't like being away from you and Noah so much…. Is it too soon for me to say that?"_

Olivia closed her eyes at the sound of Alex's voice in her mind and tried to breathe. If she could only turn back the clock. If she could only go back a few hours, she would have stayed in that moment forever. She would have never taken life for granted. She would have told Alex that it wasn't too soon and about how she wanted them to live together. She would tell Alex how she wanted them to be married and be a real family. If she had only known what was to come.

"Olivia?" Fin said stepping into the room.

Olivia blinked and looked up from where she was sitting in the interrogation room. She wasn't sure how much time had passed. She had spent the last couple of hours answering question after question thrown at her from IAB. Brass had placed her on administrative leave and Deputy Chief Dodds had called in the FBI to help. She didn't like it, but she understood. She trusted Dodds which helped.

The entire unit was walking on egg shells. They weren't used to taking orders from anyone but their sergeant, but they knew Olivia wasn't in any shape to lead this investigation but they also knew that Olivia Benson wasn't going to sit at home and twiddle her thumbs while Alex was missing. Sending the stubborn sergeant home would only give her the freedom to go out on her own which would only create more problems.

Dodds and Olivia had managed to come to a compromise. Olivia was allowed to remain at the station with her team but only to answer questions and provide information to aide in the investigation. There was no way Dodds was going to allow her to check out leads and interview suspects. He knew there was no way Olivia would be able to remain objective and he couldn't blame her. He'd managed to keep her contained for the moment. She had been instructed to go through her old files. If this guy was going after Olivia for revenge, the criminals she'd put away would be the most logical place to start.

The more Olivia scanned page after page of the files, the more her heart ached. The weight of guilt was so suffocating she could barely breathe. This was her fault. This maniac had killed those girls to get her attention. He wanted to ruin her, question her reputation as a detective and he'd managed to do just that. She hadn't been able to stop him and now he had taken the lives of several young women and he had taken one of the most precious people in her life. He'd taken Alex.

This person wanted her to pay for something she had done. Now Alex would pay for her decisions. In all the years since she had become a police officer, Olivia had never once doubted that decision. It was her chosen occupation. It had been her life for so many years. Now, it could very well cost her everything.

"Yeah?" She managed to whisper over the lump in her throat.

"I just wanted you to know that Alex's phone was in her purse. The Crime Unit analyzed it. It appears that she did receive a text… from you."

Olivia looked up and frowned. "What? I didn't…"

"We know. They were able to track the number that sent the text to Alex. It was a burner phone. They said it was a ghost number used to mimic yours."

Olivia deflated. "So Alex thought it was me. She wouldn't have suspected anything. He used me to lead her right to him."

Fin nodded solemnly.

Fin watched Olivia for a moment. She sat with a sleeping Noah in her arms staring off into empty space. He and Olivia had known each other for a long time. He could honestly call her one of the few true friends he had in this world. He had seen all shades of this woman over the years, but he had never seen her look this way. This woman looked completely broken.

A soft knock broke the silence that had fallen over the room. Amaro poked his head inside

"Hey, I thought you'd want to know that CSU finished processing your place. We're interviewing everyone in the building and canvassing the area. We have everybody, on duty and off, working on this."

"Thanks Nick."

"And uh… the crime unit pulled all the security footage from your building and the surrounding area."

Olivia noticed the pause. She sighed. "What aren't you telling me, Nick?"

"He used infrared rays to take out the cameras." He said quietly. "They're useless."

Anger mixed in with the despair already dwelling in Olivia's chest. She jerked nearly waking a sleeping Noah. She gently ran her hand through his thick hair coaxing him back to sleep.

"So what you're saying is we still have nothing. Alex is out there somewhere with this maniac and we don't even have an image to go on." Olivia said forcefully. This time Noah did wake up.

"We're doing everything we can, Olivia. We're going to get…"

"Please don't come in here making me promises that you and I both know you can't keep."

Amaro took a step back with his hands up. Everyone knew Olivia was a volcano just waiting to erupt. It was only a matter of time. "I know…"

"You know?! You know! You don't know anything!" She cradled Noah to her chest and stood. "A serial killer has my girlfriend, Nick! The same sick freak who likes to carve up pretty blondes has the woman I love! So please tell me what you KNOW about that!"

Noah's cries erupted throughout the room. Tears sprang to Olivia's eyes when she realized she'd scared him.

"Shhh… Mommy's sorry baby. It's okay. It's okay." She cooed.

Fin gave Amaro a look and jerked his head towards Noah.

"Why don't you let me take him for a while?" Nick said.

Olivia tensed, not wanting to let her son out of her sight.

"It's okay. I'll just take him for a walk around the squad room. We'll go sit at my desk. I'll keep him in my arms and you'll be able to see us the entire time."

After a long pause, Olivia allowed Nick to lift Noah from her arms. "Come on little man. Uncle Nick is going to take you for a little stroll."

"Unc Ick!" Noah said with a toothy grin.

"That's right. You're going to hang out with Uncle Nick for a while."

A flicker of a smile crossed Olivia's features before the weight of the world fell back on her shoulders.

Fin watched the two leave before he closed the door and moved around the small office closing the blinds as he went.

"What are you doing?"

Fin didn't respond. He just kept closing the blinds. When he finished, he turned and leaned back against the door.

Olivia just stared at him for a long moment.

Fin stared back in silence. It only took a minute before Olivia was consumed by rage. She took the files she had been going through and flung them off the desk and across the small room. The pictures on the wall and all the awards and commendations went next.

Fin stood in silence as he watched her as she finally wore herself out and pressed her forehead against the wall. A deep sob erupted that shook her entire body. He didn't offer comfort. He knew it would be unwelcome. There was only one person in the world who would have been able to comfort his friend right now.

"You good now?" He asked quietly.

She took a deep breath and let it out. "Yeah."

"Okay. Good because Caroline Cabot is listed as Alex's next of kin. She has to be notified." Fin said. "I thought it might be easier if it came from you."

Olivia let out another sob masquerading as a scoff. "I don't think there's going to be anything easy about hearing that I have failed to keep her daughter safe yet again."

"If you want me to do it…"

"No." She shook her head and held up a hand. "It should come from me. I owe Alex that."

She took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully. Pushing off the wall, she followed Fin out the door.

TBC…

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. As always, please let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU and all characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

Olivia and Fin had been sitting in the car for nearly fifteen minutes on Park Avenue. Olivia knew she needed to get out, but she couldn't make herself move. She couldn't believe she was about to go up to Caroline Cabot's penthouse and inform her that her only child, the daughter she had finally gotten back a few years ago, was now missing and in the hands of a serial killer. A tear fell from Olivia's eye. How much more was this woman expected to endure in her life?

Fin, who sat stoically in the seat next to her, reached over and placed his hand over her own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Olivia blinked at the unexpected touch. Fin was not an overly tactile person. Glancing in his direction, she could see that he was staring out the windshield into nothingness. There was a long pause before he spoke.

"I'm going up there with you so don't even think about asking me to stay in this car." He said gruffly.

If Olivia had been capable of feeling, she would have been touched. Fin really had been her rock today. In all honesty, he had been the person she'd come to depend on most for the past few years. The sometime burly cop had somehow stepped in and filled the void that had been created when her old partner had left. He had become her closest friend without her even realizing it.

"I'm ready whenever you are." He said.

Olivia nodded and opened the door. She didn't even recall making the trip up to the top of the high-rise until she suddenly found herself standing at Caroline Cabot's penthouse door. She range the bell and waited. When Caroline opened the door, she smiled, obviously happy at the unexpected visit. Caroline's eyes immediately glanced behind Olivia clearly expecting to see her daughter standing there. The luminous smile that graced her elegant features slowly fell as she took in Fin's badge and his morose expression. Her eyes quickly traveled over Olivia's disheveled appearance and fear immediately encompassed her entire being. The scene brought back a memory from the distant past. In a moment she was taken back in time and suddenly the District Attorney, Arthur Branch, flanked by the New York City Police Commissioner and Captain Donald Cragen in full uniform were all standing at her door wearing grave expressions. In that instant, Caroline knew just as any mother would.

Caroline leaned heavily on the door. "Alexandra?" She whispered.

Olivia nodded and caught the older woman as her knees buckled beneath her. Caroline clutched Olivia tightly as if trying to hang on to dear life.

* * *

Alex didn't know how long she had been asleep. She had no watch and of course there were no windows to see how the day had progressed. She noticed she had been propped up against a pillow and a blanket had been placed over her. She tried the restraints again only to find them still in place. She found herself growing tired very quickly. She could still feel traces of drugs in her system. She had no way of knowing what she'd been given. She just hoped it wasn't addictive or heaven forbid deadly.

Alex saw the door knob across the room slowly turn. Her heart seized and she froze as the tall shadowy figure stepped into view. She lay as still as possible as he approached. She tried not to flinch as she felt the back of a hand caress her cheek.

"I'm glad you're awake, sweetheart. I brought you some water."

Alex turned her mouth away as a straw was placed to her lips.

"Now, now Alexandra. Don't be ridiculous. If I wanted to hurt you I wouldn't be wasting my time giving you water now would I, darling?" He placed the straw back to her lips again. "Come on. I know you're thirsty. You don't want to end up dehydrated."

Alex eyed the straw suspiciously for a long moment before finally closing her lips around it. After drinking about half the contents, she pulled her mouth away. She had to admit, the cool water felt wonderful to her dry throat. She dropped her head back against the pillow and stared at him. She had to figure out how to play this.

"Why are you doing this, Kevin?"

"Don't play coy, Alexandra. I already told you." He said almost sounding charming. "I had to prove to you that she doesn't deserve you. She's not smart enough for someone like you. She couldn't even figure it out."

"She? What are you talking about? Who couldn't figure what out?"

He smiled and let out a little laugh. It sent a shiver down Alex's spine. She had always liked her secretary. He always seemed so nice and even charming. Now, he just seemed cold and unhinged.

"That they were you, of course. They were all my love letter to you, darling."

Alex swallowed the bile rising up her throat. "You… You killed those women. It was you, wasn't it?"

His only response was a bone chilling grin.

"Why? Why would you do that?"

He tilted his head and played with her hair. "Your sergeant... She…" His face instantly twisted with distaste. "…took what should have been mine. So… I'm taking everything from her."

"Olivia? What does she have to do with this? She doesn't even know you. She didn't take anything…"

"She took you!" He snapped, grabbing her tightly by the arms. "You were mine and she came in and took you from me!"

Alex flinched in pain and fear. "Kevin!"

"We kissed and we were supposed to be together! Don't you see? We will be so good together."

Alex winced as his grip grew tighter. "Please. You're hurting me, Kevin."

He took a few deep breaths and slowly pulled his hands from her arms. Alex could see some of the wildness leave his eyes. He rubbed her arms gently to soothe the pain.

"I'm so sorry, my darling. You know how I feel about you. I love you so much that it drives me a bit crazy at times." He caressed her cheek gently. "But you know I would never hurt you. You know that don't you?"

Alex swallowed thickly before nodding slowly.

"Good." He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Mmm… it feels wonderful to be this close to you again."

Alex bit her lip to keep calm. "Kevin, do you remember when you kissed me?"

He pulled back smiling as if he'd won the lottery. "Of course. I would never forget that night."

"Do you remember what I told you?" Alex asked carefully as she recalled that fateful night.

 _Alex glanced at the clock on her desk and sighed. It was late. She knew she should just go home but she wasn't ready yet. Her evening had taken a turn for the worse when she'd headed to one of her favorite restaurants to meet Serena for drinks when she spotted Olivia and Ed Tucker having what looked like a very romantic dinner through the restaurant window. Judging by the kiss he planted on her lips, the rumors she'd heard were correct. Olivia was in a committed relationship and obviously in love._

 _So there Alex stood just across the street staring at the love of her life happily enjoying the company of someone else. It wasn't that she begrudged Olivia happiness, quite the opposite. That's all she'd ever wanted for Olivia, even if it was not with her. However, actually witnessing it with her own eyes was a completely different story. The painful stab to her chest forced Alex to turn and quickly walk away. She sent a quick text to Serena explaining that she was tied up at work and headed back to her office. That is how she ended up sitting at her desk nursing a class of bourbon._

 _The sound of someone clearing their throat came from her doorway. Alex quickly wiped the stray tear on her cheek away and looked up._

 _"Kevin… what are you still doing here?"_

 _The younger man shifted nervously in the doorway before walking into the office. He placed a file on her desk before stepping back. "I knew you would want these notes ready in the morning so I stayed late."_

 _She nodded and tried to muster a smile. Her secretary really was good at his job, even if he was a bit nervous around her at times. "You didn't have to do that, but thank you. You should go home now. It's rather late."_

 _"I guess I could say the same to you, Miss Cabot." He said with a friendly smile._

 _Alex nodded._

 _He eyed the bottle of bourbon and raised a brow. "Are you alright, Miss Cabot?"_

 _Alex cracked a smile. "A couple more of these and I'm sure I will be."_

 _"Are you sure you should be drinking that much?"_

 _She raised a brow at him and tilted her head. "I didn't realize I needed anyone's permission."_

 _He blushed as he often did. She could tell the younger man had a little crush on her but it was harmless. "I'm sorry, Miss Cabot. I didn't mean to presume or… I...I…" He stuttered._

 _Alex chuckled. "It's fine. But to answer your original question…" She thought for a moment then decided to answer honestly. "Actually, I'm not fine. I just saw the love of my life with someone else… and it hurt like hell."_

 _Kevin looked distressed. Alex quickly waved away the concern as she stood and moved around the desk. She placed the bottle of bourbon back in the cabinet. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. I just need to get used to the idea that that dream will never be."_

 _"I can't imagine anyone who had the chance to be with you choosing someone else." Kevin said quietly._

 _Alex shook her head and gave him an apologetic smile. "You're very sweet and that is kind of you to say but I shouldn't have said anything. That was very unprofessional of me. I think you might be right. I've had a little too much bourbon this evening. You should go home, Kevin. I'll be fine."_

 _Kevin took a step in her direction, stepping into her personal space. "I wasn't saying that to be kind. It's the truth… and they're a bloody fool to ever let you go."_

 _Before Alex could react, Kevin had leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. She was so taken by surprise that it took her a couple of seconds to react. She quickly placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away._

 _"Whoa… what was that?"_

 _"I… I… just thought that…I…"_

 _"Kevin, you and I work together, specifically you work for me. The nature of our relationship can be nothing more than that." She stated adamantly._

 _He blushed with obvious embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I don't know what I was thinking. I just… please Miss Cabot, I enjoy having this job. I don't want to be fired for a stupid mistake. I just wanted to make you feel better."_

 _Alex moved around the desk needing the barrier between them. She looked at him fidgeting nervously and blushing to the roots of his hair. She felt a stab of pity for him. She knew better than anyone how it felt to pine after someone who didn't feel the same. "I… I understand, Kevin and I appreciate your kindness no matter how misplaced. However, nothing and I do mean nothing… like that can ever happen again because if it does, I will have no choice but to dismiss you. Do you understand?"_

 _"Yes ma'am. Completely."_

 _"You really should head home now, Kevin."_

 _He turned to go but hesitated. "But… you'll be here all alone."_

 _"Go home Kevin." She said sternly._

 _He nodded before slipping out of the office._

 _Once she heard the elevator door close down the hall, Alex flopped down in her desk and sighed heavily. "I'm used to being alone." She said to herself._

The memory ended and Alex met his eyes. "Kevin, I know you remember what I said that night."

He frowned. "You told me how you felt."

"No, Kevin. I told you that you misunderstood our relationship and if you wished to continue working for me, it could never happen again. Kevin, what happened was a mistake."

Alex felt the hard sting against her cheek and the blood seep from her lip.

"You only said that because of that fucking dyke! That bloody bitch pushed her way into our life and confused you. We were happy together before she came along. See?"

Alex looked at him in confusion as he pulled out his phone and started flipping through the pictures. Her eyes widened at what she saw.

There was photo after photo of her with Kevin in loving embraces and even kisses. She couldn't believe her eyes. They were pictures of her and Olivia out on dates and in the park. It was obvious that Kevin had replaced Olivia's images with his own. She felt like throwing up.

"Don't you see how happy we were? That's why I did what I did. She had to pay. I couldn't allow her take our life away from us. You understand that don't you?"

Alex slowly nodded and gave him a timid smile. She couldn't believe how quickly he went from being completely unhinged to calm again. The Kevin she thought she knew didn't exist. This man standing before her was seriously disturbed. "Yes."

Kevin let out a relieved sigh. "Good. I'm so glad, my darling." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm going to go get you something to eat. Then we'll take care of your other needs. I'm sure you're ready for a shower and some comfortable clothes by now."

A tear fell from her eye as she watched him leave the room. She looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes.

"Please find me, Olivia."

TBC.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: SVU belongs to NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

 **A/N:** Sorry for the delay in posting. I'll try to do better. Like always, let me know what you think.

* * *

 **Chapter 22**

Fin stood silently by the front entrance as Olivia spoke with Caroline Cabot across the room. The older woman had nearly fainted when they gave her the news about Alex's abduction. The sight had brought back a lot of memories for him. The woman looked frail and confused, just as she had many years ago at the faux funeral of her daughter. The entire situation made him think of his own son and how he would feel to receive such news. Fin made a mental note to call Ken when all this mess was over.

"Who would do this, Olivia? Why would this person take Alexandra?" Caroline asked.

Olivia signed and dropped her head. She couldn't bear to look into the eyes so much like her beloved's and confess that this monster had gone after Alex because of her. She just couldn't bear to do it. "It's… It's because of me." Olivia said quietly.

Caroline frowned. "What?"

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat as her eyes grew wet with tears once again. "I… I said… It's because of me. I'm the cause of this. It's my fault."

"How could that be? Olivia, I don't understand."

"Revenge."

"What?"

Olivia wiped her already red eyes and finally forced herself to look up and face the other woman's gaze head on. "He wants revenge. He took her…" She paused as her voice broke and took a breath. "He took Alex to hurt me.

Caroline flinched and shook her head as a white hot wave of anger rushed over her. It was the anger of a fiercely protective mother who was standing face to face with the reason her child was in danger. A part of her wanted to violently lash out at the woman before her. She wanted to slap Olivia across the face and rage about putting her Alexandra in harm's way. As a mother, every inch of her body was screaming to do just that, but as soon as she took in the sight before her, Caroline could only see Olivia through her daughter's eyes. This woman meant so much to her daughter. This woman was her daughter's heart just as much as Alexandra was her own. She stared back into nearly blood-red, wounded eyes and all the anger and fury started to fade. The woman standing before her was not the woman she remembered. She was not the confident and collected woman who had dared to declare her love for her daughter. This woman was so completely devastated and broken. It was almost too difficult to witness. Caroline reached over and gently placed her hand over Olivia's and held it tightly.

"This is not your fault, Olivia."

"Yes, it is."

"No. Please, Alexandra would not want you saying such a thing."

The forgiveness of this woman only made the guilt Olivia was carrying weigh even more upon her already heavy heart. "How can you say that, Caroline? He left a note. He said I would get what I deserved. He took one of the most precious people in my life because… I…I don't even know why." Olivia's voice choked up and she was no longer able to continue.

Caroline tried to pull the other woman into her arms to offer comfort; comfort they both needed but Olivia pulled away and stood and began to pace.

"God! All those innocent girls… now he has Alex! What is the point? What's the point of any of this?"

Caroline's heart ached at the anguish she saw on Olivia's face. She stood, blocking the younger woman's path. She pulled Olivia into her arms and held her tightly.

"He has my daughter, Olivia! I need you to stop this… because I need you!" She said fiercely.

Fin, still standing like a sentinel by the door, felt his phone vibrate on his hip. He took a quick glance at the two distraught women before slipping out the door.

"Tutuola."

"Fin, its Carisi. You might want to get back to the station. We might have a lead."

"We'll be there in a few."

"We? Look Fin, I don't know if you should bring the Sarg with you. She might not be able to handle seeing what we found."

Fin stilled. "You find a body?"

There was a long pause. "Yeah and there's blood… a lot of it."

"Fuck." Fin said with a grimace. "Like I said… we'll be there soon."

"But Fin…"

"Do you honestly think I could stop her? Do you honestly think Olivia Benson's going to stay put while we work this thing?"

Carisi sighed already knowing the answer. "No."

"Well, at least I know you're not as stupid as I thought. We'll be there soon." Fin said before ending the call.

He took a deep breath before slipping back inside. He could see Olivia and Caroline sitting and talking quietly. He cleared his throat causing Olivia to look over at him. She read his face instantly.

"What is it, Fin?"

"That was Carisi. He says there's been a development."

Olivia knew a 'development' was something they said when they'd found something troubling but didn't want to alert the family. Her stomach dropped. Without even thinking, Olivia instantly stood and moved towards the door. Fin caught her by the arm before shifting his eyes towards the older woman still seated on the sofa. Olivia turned and met troubled blue eyes. She sighed before moving back towards the older woman.

"Caroline, I… I need to go." Olivia said lamely, unsure of what to say. "I…I have to…"

Caroline cupped Olivia's face between her hands and pulled the taller woman down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Bring my little girl home to me, Olivia." Caroline said softly.

* * *

Olivia was out of the squad car before Fin was able to even put it into gear. He could see a few detectives milling around as CSU processed the scene. There was a dark SUV behind the police tape. Fin ran around the car quickly, taking her by the arm.

"Liv wait! You'll risk contaminating the scene."

"Get out of my way, Fin! I just want to see if it's…" She said shakily. "I have to."

Fin sighed and pointed a finger at her. "Okay, but you stay behind me and you touch nothing. Got it?"

Olivia's only response was a brisk nod.

A few detectives all dropped their heads and moved aside as Olivia and Fin approached. Olivia's heart started pounding as she saw Melinda leaning over into the back of the SUV. Her heart plummeted as Melinda turned and Olivia saw the bright red blood on her gloves.

Forgetting everything about evidence and procedure, Olivia rushed forward. Amaro was able to catch her at the last minute.

"Oh God! Is that… Is that blood?!" Olivia yelled brokenly.

Melinda paused then took a quick step back. She held up her hands. She knew Olivia would contaminate the scene if she came any further. "You can't be here, Sergeant. Get her out of here, Detectives." She warned.

Amaro was still holding Olivia by the waist keeping her back as she struggled to move forward.

"Is that… Is that Alex?! Doc? Melinda please! Is that Alex?"

Fin stepped between them and gave Melinda a hard look. "You've gotta tell her something, Doc. She's going to tear down the sky if you don't. You know that."

Melinda nodded and stepped aside to allow Fin to look into the vehicle. There was a young woman lying face down, long blonde hair covering her badly beaten face. "The MO is the same except this time he went out of his way to bash her face in. The damage is so severe I can't tell if it's... " She shook her head as her voice trailed off.

Fin took a deep breath. "Fuck."

"Cabot's blood type was on file from when she worked at the DA's office. I was just about to make a comparison with the database." She said gesturing to the small laptop one of her assistants was holding.

Fin took another look back at Olivia who was still trying to get by Amaro and a uniformed officer. "You can do that here?

She shrugged her shoulders. "I would rather do this back at the lab but I can't keep her in suspense. I have what I need here to do it."

Fin nodded. "How long will it take?"

"Few minutes."

"Okay. I'll try to hold Liv off."

Dr. Melinda Warner never liked performing any kind of test in the field. The woman was impeccable at her job because did everything by the book. Melinda didn't like there being any chance of making a mistake, but she also knew it would be cruel to make Olivia wait until she got the body back to the lab. The next few minutes were the longest minutes of all of their lives.

"Cabot is type 0. The blood type of the victim is AB- . This woman isn't Alexandra Cabot."

Fin let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He gave a brisk nod and headed back behind the police tape.

Amaro loosened his grip on Olivia as he saw Fin approaching. She stood, hands shaking and barely breathing. "Fin, is that…"

"No." He shook his head. He approached just in time to catch Olivia before her knees gave out. "It's not Cabot. Melinda ran a blood test. She said she's sure."

The feeling of intense relief mixed with worry and despair caused Olivia's body to rebel against itself. She quickly moved behind the nearby dumpster and vomited.

A few minutes later, Amaro pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. "Thank you."

"You okay, Liv?" He asked quietly.

Olivia merely nodded, but they all knew that she was far from okay. She took a deep breath and glanced around. "Is it him?"

Amaro nodded. "He left another note." He held up a small clear evidence bag.

Olivia saw another familiar business card bearing her name. On the back was another message.

 _"What goes around comes around."_

 **TBC.**

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: SVU belongs to NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

 **A/N:** Sorry for the lack of posts. I've had a bit of writer's block lately. Hopefully, this won't completely suck. Like always, let me know what you think either way.

* * *

 **Chapter 23**

Alex stood in the small shower very conscious of the fact that her captor was standing just a few feet away. She had quickly learned that Kevin wasn't living in a world of reality. In his mind, they were a happy couple and Olivia was a threat to that happiness. She kept her eyes on him and the gun he still held in his hand. He was standing in the doorway with his back slightly turned. He had agreed to allow her at least that little bit of modesty. As the water washed over her, she recalled the conversation they'd had when he'd returned with her food earlier.

 _"Here we are, my darling." He said placing a tray of food across her lap._

 _Alex just stared at him. "How am I supposed to eat this? You have my arms bound."_

 _"Oh, no worries. I'll feed you, love."_

 _Alex ground her teeth. "I would rather you let me feed myself, Kevin."_

 _He tilted his head and stared at her. Alex wondered what he was thinking. He suddenly stood and pulled the gun from underneath his shirt. Her heart raced. He gently placed it on the nightstand._

 _"I'm not sure I can trust you just yet, darling. That dreadful woman had you so brainwashed. It might be a while before things can go back to the way they were between us." He went back to preparing her food. He noticed her eyes on him and smiled. "No need to worry. I'm an excellent cook."_

 _For the next half hour, Kevin fed Alex her dinner much to her vexation. She had despised this and wanted nothing more than to shove the tray into his face and gouge his eyes out with the fork, but she knew she had to be smart. She had to do her part in staying safe and alive until Olivia could find her._

 _"It's getting late. I'm sure you're ready for a shower."_

 _Alex froze. The idea of being alone in a shower with this man was terrifying. When he began undressing her, she nearly vomited._

 _"Kevin, please don't do this." She pleaded._

 _He looked up as if he was clearly confused. His hands stopped on the buttons of her shirt. "What do you mean?"_

 _"I… I mean… we've never… um gone this far. I told you I wanted to wait… remember… until we were married. I would rather you not see me until then."_

 _Alex waited nervously. She knew playing into his delusions was her only option. Kevin appeared to be thinking the idea over. He met her eyes and Alex gave him the sweetest smile she could muster. He blushed and looked away shyly._

 _"Okay. I guess we could wait but…"_

 _"I can shower myself, sweetheart."_

 _Kevin kept the gun in his hand as he released the restraints on one of her wrist. He stood back and allowed her to release her other arm. Alex got a good look at the weapon when he came closer to release her feet. She could see that it was loaded and the safety was off. She swallowed hard. Now was not the time to try anything foolish._

 _He followed her into the small bathroom. He smiled bashfully before turning his back as she removed her clothing. He glanced over his shoulder as she stepped into the shower._

Alex saw Kevin tapping the gun against his thigh. She knew he was growing restless and her shower time would be growing to a close soon. She again discretely looked around the small bathroom for anything that she could use as a weapon. The small razor he'd provided for her to shave her legs caught her eye again. _'Maybe.'_ She thought. She then thought better of it knowing he would probably check to ensure the razor was still there.

"It's time to get out. Your towel is right there and I have some fresh clothes for you on the bed." He said pulling the shower curtain back slightly. Alex saw the bright red blush that covered his face as caught a glimpse of her.

For a brief moment, Alex thought about trying to seduce him then try to get the jump on him. But what would happen next? What if she couldn't overpower him? Alex knew she needed to have a plan. Now was not the time. She quickly redressed and returned to the other room.

Once again restrained, Alex lay alone in the silence.

* * *

Olivia paced the length of her living room for the hundredth time. Alex had been missing for nearly thirty-six hours now. Olivia knew the statistics. The odds of getting Alex back alive lessened with each passing hour. The NYPD was combing the entire city from top to bottom. They were doing everything they could, but nothing would ease Olivia's worry until she had Alex back home.

Olivia was dead on her feet and everyone knew it. Fin and Amaro had finally called in the big guns to get her to take Noah home and get some rest. She still couldn't believe they had called Caroline Cabot to do the honors. She paused and looked across the room at Alex's mother. The woman was surely going through her own personal hell and here she was sitting with her son and offering Olivia comfort.

"Olivia, why don't you come sit down? Pacing isn't going to help." Caroline said softly.

Olivia wanted to refuse, but found that she couldn't when she met blue eyes so much like Alex's. She moved over and took a seat with Noah between them.

"I know you're worried. I am too. She's… well she's my baby." Caroline said with a sad smile. "Alexandra would undoubtedly hate being referred to that way, mind you, but she is. She is my greatest joy and…" She paused to wipe a stray tear away. "That girl is my life so I have to believe that God would not take my heart away…not again in the same lifetime."

Olivia reached out and took the older woman's hand. "I don't know what to do, Caroline. For the first time in my life, in spite of all of my training and experience, I have no idea what to do next."

Caroline squeezed the hand holding her own. "Alexandra says you are the best detective she's ever met."

Olivia scoffed but Caroline continued. "I recall the first time she told me about you." Caroline readjusted a now sleeping Noah in her arms. She ran her fingers through his dark hair and chuckled. "Alexandra came charging in talking about this brash and stubborn female detective. She went on and on about how you were impatient and ignored all the rules."

"She was right." Olivia said hoarsely.

"Maybe, but she didn't stop there. Every week, she would come back with the same complaints. I found it strange because Alexandra rarely allowed other people to affect her in such a way. Apparently, you had a certain skill."

Olivia couldn't help but smile. "That's a nice way of putting it."

"As the weeks passed, the complaints weren't really complaints any more. Stubborn became determined. Brash and impatient became no nonsense and relentless. Before long, it was all about how kindhearted you were and how she had never met a more loyal and dedicated human being."

Caroline lifted Olivia's chin and met brown watery eyes. "I watched my daughter fall in love with you and I can see why. Alexandra says that you and those detectives in your unit never stop, that you all are unyielding in your pursuit of justice. So, I think that is what you should do. You should be who she believes you to be."

* * *

Olivia was back at the station bright and early the next morning. She hadn't slept much at all the night before. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Alex alone and scared and in the hands of a maniac. When she did manage to sleep, she awoke in a sweaty mess from a nightmare because she had been unable to save Alex. She knew she looked like death. She had seen the concerned look on Caroline's face as she left.

"You get _any_ sleep at all, Liv?" Rollins asked with concern.

Olivia shrugged silently.

"Where's Noah?"

"He's with Caroline. She agreed to stay at my place with him. Carisi and two uniforms are there guarding them. Carisi knows not to let them out of his sight."

Rollins nodded but said nothing.

"So where are we?" Olivia asked ready to get down to business.

Rollins headed over to the board. "We found two perps from your old cases that fit the profile. Tony Sinclair and Drake March. Both were convicted for violence against women. Same height and build to match the sketch from Angelica Ross and most importantly, both have an accent, a British accent.

"Okay. Let's bring them in."

* * *

Alex watched Kevin as he moved around in the other room. He had forgotten to close the door all the way after he had brought in her breakfast. She leaned across the bed as far as the restraints would allow. She could tell that she was in a house, not an apartment and it looked like there were trees outside the window. She quickly straightened up as Kevin turned to re-enter the room. She could see that he still had the gun.

He smiled at her bashfully. "I know you hate it when I leave you all alone, but I have to go to work. It would look strange if I didn't show up. You understand that right, darling?"

Alex gave him a fake smile and nodded.

This made him happy. He seemed to like her being submissive. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She struggled not to flinch away.

"I'm glad. Now, since you've been so good. I'm going to take these off. I…I can't let you leave the room but you can use the bathroom and watch television while I'm gone. Would you like that?"

Alex kept the excitement out of her eyes and just nodded. Ten minutes later, Kevin was gone and Alex was moving around the room frantically searching for a way out. She quickly realized Kevin may have been completely insane but he had covered his bases. The room was basically air-tight with no way out or means of communicating with the outside world.

"Think Alex. You have come up with a plan." Alex muttered as she moved her search to the bathroom.

* * *

Two hours of digging and they still had nothing. Both suspects had iron-clad alibis. One of them was in prison, hardly able to escape and commit a series of murders and kidnap a federal prosecutor. The other was now paralyzed from a car accident several years prior and living at home with his mother.

Olivia was at the end of her rope. They were running out of time. "I want to talk to Angelica Ross again." She said out of the blue.

Rollins and Fin looked at her strangely.

She ignored the looks. "She's the only vic that survived. She heard his voice. Maybe she remembers more now that some time has passed."

Fin stroked his goatee and nodded. "It's worth a shot."

"The chief isn't going to want you involved, Liv." Rollins said carefully.

Olivia stood and grabbed her keys. "I don't really give a _fuck_ about the chief right now. But if you're worried about any of this coming down on you, I understand."

"No way. I'm with you, boss." Rollins said standing.

Fin was already moving too. "You don't even have to ask."

* * *

Alex stared at the television as her picture stared back at her. The news stations were running the story of her abduction. That told her that Olivia and the team knew she was in trouble. She also knew they would tear up the city trying to find her. She just needed to buy herself some time.

She glanced down at the slender piece of metal in her hands. It had taken her a couple of hours, but she had managed to tear a piece of the brass binding bar that connected the carpet to the bathroom flooring.

Alex believed Olivia would find her. She had no choice but to believe that, but that didn't mean she had to sit by like a damsel in distress. If she had to fight her way out of this, she would. She had gone through hell once and found her way back to Olivia. Alex believed they could have a wonderful future together as a family and there was no way in hell she was going to let this man take that away from her…no way in hell.

TBC.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer:** Law  & Order: SVU belongs to NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

 **A/N:** Here's the next chapter. Let me know what you think.

* * *

 **Chapter 24**

"I know you want to put this behind you, but please… the woman he took she's… I know her."

Angelica tilted her head. "You're talking about that prosecutor… the one on the news?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes. Her name is Alexandra Cabot and she's a very good friend of mine. I care about her a great deal."

Angelica could see the concern in Olivia's eyes. "Okay but I don't know how much help I'll be. I told you everything I knew."

"I know this is a lot to ask, but can you take us back through that night again?" Olivia asked.

Angelica sighed and nodded before she began to recall the events of that night.

"… and that's when he grabbed me from behind. I could hear him rambling in my ear. He kept going on and on about karma and getting what we deserved."

She paused as the memories washed over her. She frowned. "He said… he said you deserve this for being a bloody dyke just like her. She was supposed to love me."

All eyes shot up. This hadn't been in the original report. "Did you just remember that?"

Angelica nodded slowly. "Yeah. I…I remember him saying that just before I was able to get the knife out."

"Do you remember anything else?" Fin asked.

She frowned and tried to concentrate. "There was something…"

"What? If you can remember anything, no matter how small, about that night _please_ tell us."

"I think I remember…" She frowned. "There was something on his forearm."

"Like a tattoo or…"

Angelica nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, it looked like little boxes that were linked together. It's hard to explain it."

Rollins quickly pulled out her notepad. "Could you draw it?"

Angelica shrugged and took the pad. "I could try." She closed her eyes and thought for a moment then drew what she could remember. "I think that's it."

Fin and Rollins looked at the small image then at one another. "That's a karma symbol." They said almost in unison.

Olivia nodded slowly. "Yeah… and I've seen that tattoo before too."

"Where?" Fin asked.

"Alex's secretary, Kevin Burke. I saw it on his forearm when we were at Alex's office."

* * *

"Kevin Burke, age twenty-seven. On the surface, he seems clean but if you dig far enough you can find anything on anybody." Fin said pulling the file up on the screen. "His paperwork said he graduated from some fancy college up-state but it's a lie. He took time off to deal with a _'personal issue'_ and never went back there." Fin said making quotations. "Turns out, Kevin had a bit of a mental breakdown. His family had him committed to a mental hospital for a while."

"Why the hell didn't the Feds know that? He worked at the fucking UN for crying out loud?" Olivia exclaimed.

"It was in his juvie file. He was a few months shy of his eighteenth birthday when it happened."

"Making him a juvenile. And of course all juvie files would have been sealed." Olivia added.

"Yep."

"What else do we know?"

"About a year later, Kevin was released and he enrolled in Hudson University. Everything was fine until he developed an unhealthy interest in one of his professors. Kevin said it was mutual while the professor denied it. Kevin's parents were big time donors and the university didn't want to lose the money or deal with a possible scandal so the entire issue was dropped. After that, Kevin sort of drops off the radar until he was hired by Alex."

"That's enough for me. Let's go get him."

* * *

There was no sign of Kevin at the office when Olivia and the team arrived. Apparently he had shown up for work as usual but never returned from lunch.

Olivia slammed her fist down on the desk in frustration. "He's smart. He knew not showing up for work would have seemed suspicious."

"Yeah, but smart enough not to hang around in case we came back with more questions." Fin added.

"Alright, I want a state-wide BOLO for Kevin Burke immediately while we regroup. And I want to know everything there is to know about this guy and everyone associated with him. There has to be something out there to tell us where he could have taken Alex." Olivia said heading for the door.

* * *

Alex blinked awake when she heard the door slam in the other room. She quickly hid the metal strip beneath her pillow and sat down on the bed. She tried to control her breathing as the door knob turned. Kevin face lit up when he saw her sitting quietly. "Hello darling. How was your day?"

Alex flinched as he moved into her space and placed a kiss on her cheek. She noticed he seemed more relaxed and at ease. She also saw a flash of the gun tucked into his belt.

"I had a good day. It was a bit lonely though."

"Oh, you missed me?" He smiled so widely it looked like it hurt his face. "That is wonderful to hear. I missed you too, my darling." This time when he leaned in for a kiss, he met her lips. Alex struggled not to gag.

"I'm so glad you've come to your senses again. It's just like old times."

"Kevin, why are we here? Why can't we go home… to our home?"

He caressed her cheek sweetly. "Oh, not to worry. This is just a temporary place for us. We will be leaving soon… just you and me love."

Alex swallowed.

* * *

"How are we on that background check?" Olivia asked staring at the evidence board.

"Got it!" Carisi said snatching the paper from the printer. "Kevin Burke doesn't own any property, but his mother does. She owns a cabin in the Catskills. It's been up for sale for over a year but it hasn't sold. It's vacant."

"It's vacant and in the middle of nowhere."

"Yeah and the perfect place to go if you wanted to keep a low profile and not be seen." Olivia said grabbing her keys. "Send me that address."

Fin, Amaro, and the others followed without a second thought.

 _"Hold on, Alex. I'm coming."_ Olivia thought as she raced to the car.

TBC.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU belongs to NBC and Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

 **A/N:** I apologize for the long period between posts. I had a little writer's block and I hated everything I wrote. So... not too sure how this turned out. Let me know what you think good or bad.

* * *

 **Chapter 25**

Alex sat quietly on the bed as she watched Kevin move around the room placing things in the open luggage.

"Kevin, where are we going?"

"Oh, don't worry yourself over that. I have everything taken care of."

"I'm sure you do, but there's just one problem."

"And what would that be, darling?"

"My mother. I…I can't just up and disappear. My mother will worry and she'll send the police after us."

Kevin turned and looked at her with a frown. Alex could tell that he was thinking so she continued.

"My mother and I are extremely close. You know that. She won't just…"

"Shut up!" He snapped.

Alex went silent and still. She watched him begin to pace back and forth about the small room. He finally stopped and gave her a soft smile. "You'll just write her a letter."

"What?"

"Yes, that's it. You'll write her a letter telling her how happy you are and how you plan to leave for a while."

"Kevin, my mother isn't going to believe that. She would never believe that I'd just up and leave without seeing her."

"Well you're just going to have to make sure that she does." His smile turned dark and maniacal. "I would hate for something to happen to her if she tried to interfere."

A cold chill ran down Alex's spine. She knew she'd have to do something soon. If he managed to take her out of this place, she had a feeling that she'd never see her mother, Olivia, or anyone else she cared about ever again. Her grip around the sliver of metal tightened.

* * *

The team followed SWAT into the small cabin that belonged the Rebecca Burke only to find it completely empty.

"Fuck! He's not here!" Olivia yelled in frustration as she looked around the empty dusty room. Anger welled up inside her and she kicked an empty box across the room. They all turned when several photo albums spilled out.

Fin stepped forward and lifted one of the albums from the floor. He flipped it open and shook his head at what he saw. Inside were hundreds of photos of Olivia and Alex. Olivia stepped forward and looked inside. Here stomach churned. This man had captured them in some of their most intimate moments. She grabbed the other two books and saw similar photos inside, including several of Noah. She wanted to strangle him.

"These were taken months ago. He's been stalking her for months." She mumbled as she continued to flip through the pages.

"Both of you." Fin said. "This entire book is all photos of you.

Olivia slumped down to the floor barely noticing Fin and Amaro giving orders to search around the cabin for clues.

Olivia kept flipping through the photos silently asking herself how she had not seen this. It wasn't until she came upon another photo that she paused.

"Hey guys." Olivia called as she scrambled to her feet. "Look at this."

Fin and Amaro came over and peered over her shoulder. "What is that? Isn't that Kevin?"

"Yeah. He looks a bit younger, but that's definitely him." They all stared at an older photo of Kevin with a cut out of Alex pasted next to his image. "He's standing in front of a cabin, but it's not this one. Look, you can tell." She pointed to the image behind him. "There are no windows except in the front. This place has windows everywhere."

"There's another cabin." Amaro muttered.

"Carisi!" Olivia yelled.

"Already on it, boss." Carisi said pulling out his phone.

* * *

Kevin looked around the small room again before turning back to Alex. "Okay. I have everything we need. It's time for us to go, darling."

Alex's heart began to race. She knew it was now or never. She wasn't about to allow this maniac to take her. She slowly slid the piece of metal from behind the pillow. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and thought of Olivia and Noah as Kevin approached.

* * *

"The fucking info from the Feds was faulty. Burke's mother owned two cabins. They're rental properties." Carisi said with his phone still to his ear.

"Then where is the other cabin?" Olivia demanded frantically.

"About a mile away down by a lake."

No one said a word as they rushed out. Olivia just kept praying she wasn't too late.

* * *

Alex could see the rope in Kevin's hands. He was making his way over to tie her wrist again. She quickly glanced over and saw that Kevin had placed the gun on the table across the room. As Kevin came closer, Alex held the metal tightly as she lunged forward making a quick swipe towards his neck.

Bright red blood erupted and sprayed across and down his white shirt. Kevin's hand instantly went to his neck as he tried to cover his wound. Alex quickly realized the cut was only superficial. She used the flattened palm of her hand and struck him hard in the face, breaking his nose, stunning him. She quickly scrambled off the bed and ran towards the bedroom door only to be pulled back. She turned and saw Kevin's other hand wrapped around her ankle. She kicked and tried to shake him away which only seemed to make him more enraged.

"You bitch!" He yelled. "You get back here, you fucking bitch!"

Kicking and grabbing at anything, Alex managed to make contact; the heel of her foot delivering another blow to his already broken nose. She heard him howl in pain and his grasp loosened. Leaping to her feet, she ran for the door only to find it locked.

She felt the cold metal of the gun being jammed into her ribs as a strong arm wrapped around her throat. She froze. He slowly dragged her away from the door.

"Did you really think I'd let you get away?" His voice was harsh and cold against her ear. "You're mine, darling. Don't you know you belong to me?!"

Alex trembled in his grasp.

"And now I'm going to have to show you." He said using his free hand to tear the buttons on her shirt.

Alex closed her eyes and prayed. "Please…don't." She whispered.

"Oh yes… say please again you bloody cunt!" He growled as he pulled her back towards the bedroom.

Suddenly a loud crash erupted.

"Police! Don't move!"

Alex opened her eyes and met Olivia's eyes across the room. She nearly smiled from relief only to feel Kevin's arm tighten around her neck pulling her closer to his front. She could feel the barrel of the gun pressing into her cheek bone as they stumbled back a bit.

"Don't come any closer! If you do, I swear I'll kill her."

All eyes remained trained on the gun aimed towards Alex's head. Olivia, flanked by Fin, Amaro, and Carisi very slowly fanned outward hoping to get a clear shot.

"I said don't move!" Kevin roared. He glared at Olivia and smirked evilly. "You come any closer and I will put a bullet through her bloody skull!"

"Okay. Just take it easy, Kevin." Olivia said softly. "No one has to get hurt."

The laugh that came out next to Alex's ear was cold and maniacal. "The only one who's going to be hurt is you, Sergeant. You and your precious little whore right here."

"Kevin, just listen to me…"

"Why should I listen to you?!" Kevin roared. "You never listened to me!"

Olivia was confused by his ranting. "Well I'm listening now, Kevin. Just talk to me and let me help you."

"Of course you want to listen now… because you want your precious Alexandra back." He said with a sneer. "But you wouldn't even listen to me before."

Olivia looked at him at a loss which only seemed to anger him even more.

"You don't even remember do you?"

"Why don't you tell me, Kevin?" She said calmly.

"Does the name Kathryn Perkins ring a bell?"

Olivia flinched. The name did sound familiar. "Who's Kathryn Perkins?"

"She lied about us! She didn't want to lose her teaching position so she lied and you! You went along with it and let them lock me up in that…that horrid place!" He roared.

"Kevin, I assure you that I don't know what you're talking about."

"I heard you at the meeting! You agreed with them. You said… I was a disturbed boy in need of help; that I had made the relationship up in my head. You said that! They listened to you and I got sent away to the bloody crazy house all because that bitch lied!"

Olivia's blood ran cold. A series of memories flashed before her eyes. She remembered him. It was a minor case from years ago. A professor at Hudson University made a claim that a student had been stalking her. They had investigated and found her claim to be true. When the ADA had asked her opinion, she'd said those words.

 _'He's still just a kid. It's obvious that he believes they had a real relationship. He made it all up in his head. If he gets the help he needs now, maybe he can still come back from this.'_

His much younger face appeared to her. "Oh god."

Kevin could see the recognition dawning in her eyes. "You remember me now, Sergeant?" He spat her title back at her in disgust.

"Kevin, no one was trying to hurt you. You were just misguided and you needed help. I just wanted you to get the help you needed."

He laughed. "I didn't need any fucking help! Kathryn loved me! She loved me and she just got scared! Everything was fine until you came along."

Olivia slowly shook her head. "No, Kevin. There was never a relationship between you and Professor Perkins. You became obsessed with her. Don't you remember? She was terrified of you."

"Shut up! You're still spreading lies about me! You took her away from me and ruined my life." His eyes started to lose focus and he began to ramble again. "We were happy! Now you're trying to do it again! Alex and I were happy. I finally found someone else then you had to come along and corrupt her too!"

"Kevin…" Olivia paused and waited for him to calm down a bit. He kept glancing around at the guns trained on him. She could see him shaking. She knew she had to keep him calm. "Kevin, I know you care about Alex. I know you do. I can see that… we all can."

"I'm the only one who loves her. It started out being about you, but I really do care for her." He said softly.

Olivia nodded slowly. "I know that now, Kevin. You're right." She met Alex's eyes briefly. "I know that I could never really love her the way you do."

"Damn right!"

"But that doesn't explain why you killed all those women, Kevin. If you just wanted to be with Alex, why would you do that?"

"Oh Sergeant." He laughed coldly. "That was all for you, of course."

He tightened his arm around Alex's throat and pulled her closer to him. Amaro grit his teeth. He couldn't find a clear shot.

"I wanted you to pay and what better way than to make you feel the way I felt; take what you took from me. I wanted Alexandra to see that you weren't who she thought you were." He pressed the gun deeper into Alex's cheek causing her to wince in pain. Olivia growled and tightened her grip on her weapon.

"It really was disgusting how she went on about you. It was always 'Sergeant Benson is the smartest detective I ever worked with. She is so brave, and so good at what she does.' I had to show her how wrong she was about you. And boy did I bloody ever. Hell, you couldn't even figure out that those women were practically replicas of her, could you? I left you so many bloody clues and you couldn't piece it together. Some detective you are!" He laughed and placed a kiss on Alex's temple. "See my love? She was never worthy of you. I made a complete fool of her… all of them."

"The only thing you did was show me how much of a monster you are." Alex said in a shaky voice.

He squeezed the arm around her neck causing Alex to whimper. "Shut up! You don't mean that! I'm not a monster!"

Olivia flinched. She had to regain his attention and keep him calm. "Tell me what you want, Kevin. Whatever you want, I can get it."

He turned wild eyes back to her and grinned. "What do I want?"

"Yes, you tell me what you want and I'll get it. Just don't hurt her… please."

He laughed out loud. "Oh that's just glorious! The brave and fearless savior of the NYPD is begging little old me."

"Just tell me what you want."

"I already have what I want. I wanted Alexandra and I have her. I wanted to show everyone how incompetent you were. I did that." He grinned wickedly. The look in his eyes made every hair on Olivia's body stand on end. In that moment, Olivia just knew. He didn't want to make it out of this alive.

Olivia took a deep breath. "If you love Alex prove it. If you love her, let her go. I'm the one you really want to hurt so just let her go and take me. It's like you said… its karma right? I should get what I deserve. Let her go and take me."

"Oh you actually think I'm stupid enough to fall for that. I let her go and you put a bullet in my chest."

"What if I put my gun down?" Olivia said. "What if we all did?"

"Liv." Fin warned as he kept his gun trained on Kevin.

"Olivia no." Alex said shaking her head. "Please…"

Olivia's eyes shifted until they met pleading blue eyes. "It's going to be okay. Trust me."

"No, it's not going to be okay, Sergeant. You ruined my life now I'm going to ruin yours."

It could have been a split second or a year. Time seemed to stand still as Alex met Olivia's eyes. Olivia's eyes widened as Alex mouthed the words _'I love you'_ just before she made her move.

Olivia saw Alex's hand come up and cover Kevin's wrist triggering a memory from months before.

 _*Flash*_

 _… I have a black belt in Karate."_

 _Olivia was genuinely surprised. "No way!"_

 _Alex pretended to be offended. "Why is that so hard to believe?"_

 _"Well… you're so… so…"_

 _"Careful." Alex warned._

 _"What I mean is you're so… delicate and… girly."_

 _Alex stopped them mid step and raised a brow. Before Olivia knew what was happening, Alex had maneuvered her into a complex hold. Olivia found herself unable to move. She was surprised by the strength she felt from Alex's arms._

 _"I'm disappointed in you, Sergeant. You of all people should know better than to stereotype."_

The movement was so quick, Kevin didn't see it coming. He howled in pain, loosening his hold enough for Alex to shift a few inches to the right. Shots rang out instantly as Alex dropped to the floor.

Then there was complete silence.

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer:** Law & Order SVU belongs to NBC and Dick Wolf. I own nothing.

 **A/N:** Thank you to everyone still reading this story. It's taken longer than I had expected to wrap it up, but I promise I have no intention of leaving it unfinished. Like always, love it or hate it let me know.

* * *

 **Chapter 26**

Alex felt dead weight holding her down. She could hear the commotion going on above her.

 _"Officer down! I repeat, Officer down!"_

She tried to push her way up, her mind screaming that she needed to get to Olivia. Suddenly she felt the heavy weight being lifted from her back. She opened her eyes to meet Fin's as he held out his hand.

He was giving her a quick once over. "Are you hit, Cabot? Cabot! Are you hurt?"

Alex's ears were ringing and she could barely make out what he was saying. She managed to shake her head as she glanced down at Kevin's lifeless body lying in a growing pool of blood, riddled with bullets.

She frantically asked him, "Liv? Where's Olivia?"

 _"Officer down! I repeat!"_ She could hear a distant voice shouting into radio once again. Her eyes widened as she looked around in a panic.

"Olivia!" Her heart sank when she didn't get a response. "Where is Olivia?"

Fin reluctantly moved aside. Alex could see Olivia lying prone on the floor a few feet away. Carisi had taken off his jacket and was holding it over the wound to Olivia's shoulder. There was blood, a lot of it, pooling beneath the fallen woman. Alex quickly scrambled to her side.

"Liv?! Baby?!"

Olivia's eyes fluttered but didn't open.

 _"9-9-9! Officer down! I repeat, Officer down! I need a bus at…"_

The overlapping voices became muted in Alex's mind. Alex's eyes, ears, all of her concentration was trained on the woman she loved lying there motionless and pale.

"Baby… wake up. Open your eyes, please. Liv, please!" Her voice cracked as she gently caressed her face and ran gentle fingers through soft brown locks. The chaos moved around her with each passing minute.

"Alex, the paramedics are here! They need you to move back."

Alex looked up and met Fin's gentle eyes. It was as if she could hear his words but nothing was computing in her mind.

"I… I don't… I…I can't..."

"I know, but you have to let them help her, okay?"

Alex allowed Fin to pull her away as the paramedics quickly stepped in and went to work. They had Olivia on a stretcher and were loading her in an ambulance in no time.

Alex stood frozen as the ambulance sped away, sirens blaring. Fin draped a blanket over her shoulders. "We need to get you checked out, Alex."

"No, I…"

"I know you want to be with Liv so I told them you'd get checked out at the hospital. Come on. We'll be right behind them. I promise."

Alex gave him a grateful look as he led her to the squad car.

* * *

The ride to the hospital was a blur. Alex vaguely recalled Fin calling her mother on the way. His voice sounded muffled and far away.

"Mrs. Cabot, this is Detective Tutuola. I wanted to inform you that your daughter, Alexandra Cabot, has been found and is unharmed." He had glanced over at Alex pondering if she wanted to take the call herself. He quickly decided Alex was not in the right state of mind to speak to anyone just yet.

"Uh… Alexandra is in a bit of shock at the moment, but she's physically unharmed. We are in route to Bellevue Hospital to get her checked out by a physician. I thought it might be best for you to meet us there… Yes, ma'am. Uhh… Sergeant Benson? Sergeant Benson is…uh… she's detained at the moment, but she wanted me to inform you immediately of your daughter's safety. Of course ma'am… We will see you there."

As Alex half listened to the one-way conversation, the word detained struck her like a punch to the gut. Olivia wasn't detained. She had been shot. She'd been shot by a maniac who was obsessed with them both. Her heart ached.

Once they reached the hospital, she was informed that Olivia was already being prepped for surgery. Apparently, Kevin had gotten off one shot before he had been killed that hit Olivia just below shoulder strap of the bullet proof vest she'd been wearing. The bullet had hit her in the left shoulder where it was still currently lodged and Olivia had lost a lot of blood. A female surgeon that looked much too young to be a surgeon, in Alex's opinion, was speaking to her rapidly, spouting medical jargon, and asking for her consent. Alex frowned in confusion.

"Wh… Why are you asking for my consent?"

"It says here that you're Ms. Benson's…"

"It's Sergeant." Alex immediately corrected.

The young doctor simply nodded. "It says that you're Sergeant Benson's next of kin."

Fin placed a gentle hand on Alex's shoulder. "Liv, refiled her papers a couple months ago. We always let each other know if we make changes so someone knows. She told me that she wanted to make sure you would have a say if something ever happened to her."

Alex swallowed the lump in her throat and squared her shoulders. "Of course…" She glanced at the young surgeon's name-tag. "Dr. Livingston. Do what you need to do."

The doctor nodded briskly. "The nurse will bring you the paperwork shortly." Was all the surgeon said before she disappeared into the OR.

Seeing the attorney sway on her feet, Fin clutched her elbow and led her over to an empty chair.

"You're a wreck. You need to get checked out, Cabot." He said sternly.

"I'm fine."

Fin sighed. He knew he was about to have a fight on his hands. He was about to try again when a soft cry came from the doorway. They all looked up to see a tearful Caroline Cabot rushing towards them with a sleepy Noah in her arms.

The older woman moved quicker than most would have thought possible immediately enveloping her daughter in her arms, sandwiching Noah between them.

"Alexandra… my darling girl! I was so worried. Are you all right?"

Alex melted into her mother's embrace in tears. The team discreetly moved away, giving the small family a moment of privacy. Alex allowed herself to rest in the safety of her mother's arms for a few moments before Noah began to fuss.

"I'm okay, Mom." She said wiping her wet cheeks as she pulled away.

Caroline cupped Alex's cheek gently and met her eyes. "Oh, my dear girl. I love you. I'm so glad you're alright."

"I love you too, Mom."

"Ayesh." A sleepy Noah said.

Alex pulled back and met familiar brown eyes. She wiped her tears and quickly took the sleepy toddler into her arms. Feeling his small body next to her own grounded her in a way that only one other person in the world could.

"Hi baby! I've missed you so much."

"Hi." He said showing off his tiny white teeth and dimples. The smile eased some of the weight on her chest for just a moment.

"Where is Olivia, darling?" Caroline asked glancing around. "She's been completely beside herself with worry. I can't believe she let you out of her sight."

Alex held Noah close to her chest and lifted wounded eyes to her mother's.

Caroline instantly knew something was wrong. "Alexandra?"

"She… She's hurt, Mom. She saved me, but…" Alex's voice broke off. She tucked her nose into Noah's soft hair unable to continue.

Caroline didn't have the heart to ask her daughter for more information. The devastated look in her eyes was nearly too much for her to witness.

"It's going to be alright, darling. Everything is going to be just fine. You'll see." Caroline said trying to convince herself of her words as well.

* * *

The minutes crawled by as they waited for Olivia's doctor to return. After much debate, Caroline managed to talk Alex into being examined by a doctor. The young attorney had begrudgingly agreed when her mother promised that she would arrange for a doctor to examine her just across the hall so Alex wouldn't have to leave. Having the Chairman of the hospital in the family and the Cabot name on one of the hospital wings came in handy at times like these.

The doctor had barely finished giving her instructions for taking care of her bruises and abrasions before Alex snatched the prescription, which she had not real intention of filling, out of his hand and rushed back to the waiting room. When she returned, Alex found the room crowded with police officers; young patrol officers to the highest members of the Brass. Alex took a seat next to her mother and Noah, the small boy immediately making his way back into her lap. They sat and waited anxiously.

Nearly two hours later, Olivia's surgeon walked into the room scanning the large crowd. When Alex went to stand, the young woman approached and held up her hand for Alex to remain seated. The tall woman knelt before her. Members of the 1-6 instinctively formed a protective circle around their commander's family.

"Ms. Cabot, would you like to speak privately?"

"No. These are… This is Olivia's family." Alex said in a scratchy voice. "How is she?"

"First of all, Ms… Sorry. Sergeant Benson," She corrected. "came through the surgery just fine and she is in stable condition."

Alex could hear a collection of relieved breathes being exhaled around them.

"The bullet entered her left shoulder and shattered her scapula. From there, the bullet nicked and collapsed the left lung. We were able to repair the damage and re-inflate the lung with few complications. Now, she did loose quite a bit of blood, but we were able to get that under control and she is resting comfortably now."

"So she…she's okay?" Alex in a timid voice few were ever privy to.

"I'll be honest, Ms. Cabot. She's very lucky. Her injuries were very serious and she will need quite a bit of physical therapy but barring any other complications, I don't see why Sergeant Benson shouldn't make a full recovery."

Full heavy tears fell from Alex's eyes as she quickly tried to wipe them away. The doctor reached into her chest pocket and handed Alex a small packet of tissues. Alex gave her a grateful look. The doctor patted Alex gently on the knee before standing.

"I'm sure you'd like to see her." The surgeon said with a gentle smile. Alex immediately nodded.

"She'll be placed in a recovery room shortly. I'll have a nurse come escort you down."

"Thank you… so much, Dr. Livingston." Alex said gratefully.

The doctor gave a curt nod then glanced around the room. "Now, I know how close nit the NYPD is and I'm sure they'll all want to see their sergeant, but I'm only permitting immediate family tonight. Sergeant Benson needs to rest more than anything."

* * *

An hour later, Alex left a sleeping Noah in the arms of her mother as she was escorted to a small recovery room. She nearly collapsed at the first sight of her lover. Olivia was lying there so still and peaceful. If not for the numerous beeping machines surrounding her small figure, Alex could have pretended the brunette was simply taking a nap. But Alex knew better.

She approached slowly, taking a seat in the lone chair next to the bed. Reaching out, she gingerly took Olivia's hand in her own. Alex noted that even though it was cold in the room, Olivia's hand was still as warm as she remembered. It wasn't lost on her that this was the first time she had held Olivia's hand in days. A tear made its way down her cheek as she recalled the memory.

 _-Flash-_

 _"Have I ever told you how much I love your hands?" Alex said out of the blue._

 _Olivia blinked and looked away from the movie they were watching on the television to Alex who was playing with her fingers. She chuckled. "Is that supposed to be the beginning of a dirty joke, Counselor?"_

 _Alex blushed at the implication. She'd forgotten that she'd said something similar to Olivia shortly after they had made love a few nights ago. She swatted Olivia's arm playfully. "Don't say things like that. Noah is in the room."_

 _Olivia laughed. "Babe, I know you like to brag about my kid's intelligence but even I don't think he'd understand what I meant. Besides, he's preoccupied with the mountain of toys you brought him back from your last trip."_

 _They both glanced down at Noah who was playing with numerous new toys on a blanket on the floor in front of them and Alex had the decency to blush sheepishly. She simply couldn't help it. She loved the boy and she'd spoil him if she wanted._

 _Alex rolled her eyes and went back to playing with Olivia's fingers. "Anyway… I wasn't trying to be flirtatious. I just really love your hands. They're strong but still so feminine…pretty even. This one would look lovely with the right ring on it." Alex said softly toying with Olivia's left hand._

 _Olivia's eyes widened slightly and she swallowed thickly. She looked Alex in the eyes. Alex opened her mouth to speak when Olivia's cell phone broke the silence._

 _Alex smiled softly as she recognized the ring tone. As 'Bad Boys' rang out throughout the room, Alex pecked her quickly on the lips before she got up from the sofa and headed towards the kitchen._

 _"It's Fin. You'd better get that."_

 _Olivia simply watched her go._

 _-Flash-_

The memory faded and Alex frowned. They had never gotten the chance to finish that conversation, leaving so much unsaid as they had so many times throughout the years. _'I should have made you stay and just asked you to marry me right then and there.'_ Alex thought to herself.

She watched Olivia for a few moments in complete silence before she found herself speaking.

"How do we keep ending up like this, Liv? What did we ever do to piss off the universe, huh?" Alex whispered. She leaned closer and gently brushed a few brown locks away from Olivia's forehead. "It's like as soon as we get close to what we've always wanted, something always comes along and tries to take it away. It's always been that way with us, but no matter what we just keep trying, fighting to be together don't we? And you know what? I think we finally got it right this time. I finally got to experience us… us really together. And…I… I don't think I could handle losing you now, not after knowing what it feels like to finally have you."

"Good thing… you won't… have to." Olivia whispered through parched lips.

Alex was startled. She looked up from the hand she was holding and slowly smiled as she met sleepy brown eyes. "Hi there."

"Hey."

Alex opened her mouth to speak but no words would come. Her eyes filled with tears as a sob escaped her throat. The sob turned into a full crying jag. Alex dropped her head to Olivia's uninjured shoulder and she wept, finally able to release the fear and tension of the entire ordeal.

Olivia wanted to hold her but found she was too weak to lift her good arm. She tightened her grip on the hand still holding her own, trying to convey the love and concern she felt.

"Don't… cry." She said, her voice tired and winded. "Please…Al."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I shouldn't have moved but I was so worried for you. You were going to lower your gun and I… I..." Alex wept.

Olivia managed to cup Alex's cheek, using her thumb to wipe away a few stray tears. "Shh… it's… alright. You're safe… that's all that matters."

Alex leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Olivia's lips. She pulled back and rested their foreheads together. "I thought I'd lost you."

"Never."

"I love you so much. Do you know that?"

"Love… you too." Olivia whispered weakly.

Alex could tell the other woman was fading. "You need to rest."

Olivia shook her head slightly becoming a little agitated. "No. Bur…ke? He killed…"

"Shhh…" Alex caressed her cheek trying to calm the woman. "Shhh…It's alright, darling. Kevin is gone. He's dead."

"You're… safe?"

Alex nodded. "Yes. Kevin can't hurt anyone ever again. You made sure of it. You saved me… just like I knew you would."

Olivia's eyes drifted shut for a moment. Alex continued to run hers finger through Olivia's hair.

"We can talk about all of this later. You just had serious surgery. You really should rest, sweetheart."

Again Olivia stubbornly shook her head. "No..ah?"

Alex smiled at the thought of the other love of her life. "Noah is fine. He's in the waiting room with mother. Apparently, she's his new favorite person now. I think I've been replaced."

"Never. You're… still… his favorite." She said with a hint of a smile.

Another tear escaped Alex's eye, this one was a happy tear. She brought Olivia's hand to her lips placing a kiss on her knuckles. "And he's still one of the two loves of my life."

A soft knock at the door interrupted them. Alex turned to see her mother peaking inside.

"Speaking of my other love. Look who's here."

Caroline smiled warmly, stepping farther into the room. She held a sleeping Noah in her arms. Something in Alex's chest ached wonderfully at the sight of the small boy's head tucked so lovingly into her mother's neck. Caroline moved closer to the opposite side of the bed and took Olivia's other hand.

"I know the doctor wanted to limit visitors, but I knew you would want to see that this little one was safe and cared for. I also wanted to thank you… for bringing _my_ little one home safe and sound." Caroline said sincerely to Olivia.

Olivia sighed and squeezed the older woman's hand, literally too weak to speak. But Caroline could see everything she needed to see in Olivia's eyes. If she had any lingering doubts about Olivia Benson's worthiness of her daughter, they were completely gone now. This woman had not rested until she had brought her Alexandra back to her even at the detriment of her own welfare. If that wasn't true love and devotion, she didn't know what was.

"I wanted to ask if it would be alright to take Noah back to your place, Alexandra. I know he has things there and that lovely detective, Rollins I believe, offered to drive me and remain there for the evening until you felt it no longer necessary. I figured you'd want to remain here with Olivia for the night."

Alex looked to Olivia. Seeing the subtle nod, Alex glanced at her mother with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Mother. That would be a great help. Olivia and I would like that very much."

"Thank…you." Olivia whispered.

Caroline smiled gently and squeezed the sergeant's hand. "No thanks needed. I've grown quite fond of this precious one…and you. I believe you will find that once a Cabot claims you, it's quite difficult to get rid of us." She said with a wink.

Alex leaned down and placed a kiss to Olivia's forehead. "I'm going to walk Mother and Noah out and speak with Detective Rollins briefly. How about you close your eyes and rest. When you wake up, I'll be right here."

"Promise?" Olivia asked.

"I promise."

Olivia blinked slowly and nodded. She managed to lift her hand enough to run her fingers over Noah's sneaker. Caroline and Alex shared a smile at the simple loving gesture.

"Rest well, dear. Noah is in good hands. We will check in on you tomorrow." Caroline said giving Olivia's hand one last squeeze before turning to leave.

Alex followed them silently. She turned back when she reached the door. Olivia's eyes had drifted closed and she was resting peacefully. Alex finally allowed herself to breathe.

TBC.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Remember to review.


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer:** Law and Order SVU and all characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.

 **A/N:** Sorry for the wait guys. I have no excuses. This is the last regular chapter. The epilogue to this story will be posted in the next few days. Thank you so much for your patience and your feedback. Like always, let me know what you think.

* * *

 **Chapter 27**

The soft beeping of the heart monitor pulled Olivia from her slumber. She blinked a few times. Her eyes, finally able to focus, fluttered around the room until they landed on the lone figure curled up in the chair next to the bed. She looked down and saw the blonde's hand was still linked with her own even as she slept.

The sight of Alex's tall figure twisted at an odd angle in what looked to be the most uncomfortable chair in the world made her frown. _'Your back is going to be killing you.'_ Olivia thought to herself.

She lay there taking in the sounds of the beeping monitors surrounding the bed and soft murmurings floating in from the outside. She focused in on Alex again and just watched the rise and fall of the blonde's chest. The woman truly was beautiful. A modern day Helen of Troy; the face that could launch a thousand ships. The face that men went to war over and she was hers, Olivia thought. A wave of relief washed over her. Alex was alive. Alex was safe. Alex was right here beside her.

A few minutes later, Alex began to stir and finally opened her eyes. Blue eyes immediately met brown and they simply stared at one another for a long while.

"Hi."

"Hey."

Alex untangled herself from the blanket she had covering her and gingerly moved to sit on the edge of the bed. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Olivia's forehead then her lips.

"How do you feel? Are you in any pain?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, just… groggy."

"Ah, must be those wonderful pain meds they've been giving you."

Olivia's eyes danced around the room curiously. It wasn't the same room she'd woken up in before. This room looked almost like a spacious hotel room. She glanced over to the large window to see sunlight shining through. "What time is it? Where am I?"

Alex glanced down at her watch. "It's about 9:30 in the morning."

Olivia frowned still trying to piece the previous events back together.

Alex ran her hand through Olivia's hair gently. "You were put in a recovery room yesterday after your surgery. When you were more stable, I had you moved to a private room last night so you could be more comfortable. You slept through the entire thing."

"Oh." Olivia opened her mouth to speak again but grimaced slightly.

"Are you okay? What is it?" Alex asked worriedly.

Olivia swallowed thickly. "Water?"

Alex immediately stood and poured some water into a cup. She brought the straw to Olivia's lips to take a sip.

The cool water was soothing to her dry throat. She sighed and closed her eyes. "Thank you."

Alex simply nodded.

Olivia tried to take a deep breath and instantly regretted it. She hissed as pain shot through her chest.

Alex placed a gentle hand over her chest. She watched Olivia carefully and stroked her hair as she spoke softly. "You're going to have to take it easy for a while. You had a collapsed lung so that's why your chest hurts."

Olivia nodded. She looked down at the bandages over her shoulder. "My arm?"

Alex knew Olivia would awaken with questions about her injuries, especially an injury to the arm which held her weapon. "The bullet shattered your scapula but they were able to repair the damage. Your surgeon was very good. She said there was no nerve damage, just some tissue damage which will heal with physical therapy."

Olivia groaned and rolled her eyes playfully. "I hate physical therapy."

Alex smiled softly, happy to see her Olivia coming back to her. "I know you do, but maybe we can find a way to make it fun for you." Alex said leaning in for a slow sensuous kiss.

When Olivia opened her eyes there was twinkle in them and that familiar smirk that Alex adored appeared on her lips. "I think I like that idea."

"Are my guys okay?"

Alex nodded. "They're all fine. They were here all night along with half of the NYPD. The Police Commissioner actually gave me a letter for you. It's in the drawer over there if you want to read it."

Olivia shook her head. "Not right now."

"Okay. Anyway, everyone was so relieved that you were okay. I finally got your squad to go shower and catch a few hours of sleep, everyone except Fin at least. He said he was going to the station to make sure the case was put to rest, that you'd want that. They'll be back later today to check in."

Olivia nodded and stared at the window in deep contemplation. "So it's over?"

Alex sighed and nodded. "Yes."

"Why would he do all this?" Olivia whispered.

"They found tons of pictures and crazy notes at the cabin. Apparently, he's been stalking you for years. I don't know how he saw it, but he must have seen something between us. He managed to manipulate his way into getting a job at the ICC which allowed him to get close to me as my secretary. I guess his plan was to use me to get to you, but somewhere along the way he became obsessed with me too. I'm sorry, Liv. I should have known."

Olivia frowned and squeezed her hand. "Hey, this is not your fault. There is no way you could have known any of this would happen."

"He kissed me last year. I should have fired him then or at the very least known something wasn't right. I just… I don't know. I guess I thought maybe I had led him on by confiding in him about my life." Alex said looking down tearfully.

Olivia lifted her chin and met her eyes. "This is not your fault. If you want to play the blame game you could blame me. If I hadn't asked the ADA to go easy on him years ago, he would have been in jail and none of this would have happened."

"No, Liv…"

"My point is…" She sighed and pulled Alex closer. "My point is the only person at fault is Kevin Burke. He killed those women and he took you because he was delusional and hell bent on revenge for how he felt wronged in his life. I'm sure he had his demons but there is no excuse for what he did."

Alex leaned in and pressed her forehead to Olivia's. The sat together in silence for a few minutes before Alex pulled away.

"I love you so much, Liv. I was so afraid I'd never see you again."

Olivia caressed her cheek. "I love you too and you should know by now that I'd tear down the world to get to you."

Alex hiccupped something between a sob and a laugh as she leaned in and captured Olivia's lips with her own again. Olivia drew her closer to deepen the kiss.

A soft cough from the doorway pulled the two apart. They both turned to see Serena Southerlyn and Abbie Carmichael standing there smiling at them.

Alex shifted back and beckoned them in.

Serena pulled Alex into a fierce hug. "I'm so glad you're alright. We were so worried. You are alright aren't you?"

Alex pulled back with a smile and glanced over to Olivia. "I'm just fine thanks to my very own knight in shining armor."

"I'm glad Olivia is okay too. I know how much she means to you." Serena said squeezing her friend's hand.

Alex glanced over to the bed where Abbie was giving Olivia was gentle hug. "She's everything."

"I see the doctor's around here are all into the alternative medicine these days. Maybe I should get myself banged up a little so the little woman over there will take care of me this way." Abbie said in her familiar southern drawl.

Olivia chuckled softly only to wince slightly. "Well look what the cat drug in. Hey, Carmichael. It's been a while."

"I go away for a bit and come back to find you still getting yourself shot at. You're never gonna change are you Benson?"

"Oh, I don't know… maybe it's time for me to hang it up. Maybe it's time I let myself be domesticated like you." Olivia said shooting a quick glance to Alex.

"Domesticated? Who the hell said anything about me being domesticated? I'll have you know that I am still…"

Serena cleared her throat softly behind them and Abbie paused. Olivia raised a brow waiting.

"I am still very happily married to the world's most wonderful woman." Abbie finished demurely.

Olivia smirked. "Who's the little woman now?"

"Shut up." Abbie mumbled.

* * *

Olivia managed to stay awake for most of the visit with their friends, but Alex saw her sergeant beginning to fade. She remembered what the doctors had said. Olivia needed rest more than anything. After Serena and Abbie left, Alex coaxed Olivia back to sleep.

Olivia didn't wake again until late afternoon when Caroline and Noah came by with an early dinner for the two. Getting Olivia to eat something was nearly as hard as it was to get Noah to eat. The older woman only wanted to hold her son which proved difficult with only one good arm and a sore chest. Noah spent most of the visit in Caroline's arms as she sat near the bed. Apparently, Alex had been right. Caroline was Noah's new favorite person… behind Alex that is.

"So when can I go home?" Olivia asked as she watched Caroline and Noah on the sofa across the room playing with a few toys.

"Your doctor said you'll need to stay for a few more days for observation. They want to make sure you're not in any danger of an infection."

Olivia groaned. Alex sat down on the edge of the bed allowing Olivia to shift into her arms. She stroked the brown locks lying across her chest. "I know you hate hospitals, but I agree with your doctor. I came so close to losing you. I don't want to take any chances that anything will take you away from me now."

Olivia sighed. She couldn't argue when she heard the tremor in the blonde's voice. "Okay."

"Speaking of going home. When you're released I want you to come home with me. You'll need someone to take care of you and there's Noah to think about and…"

"You don't have to sell me on the idea, Alex. I don't want to be anywhere but where you are."

Alex placed a kiss to Olivia's forehead. "Okay."

They sat in silence and continued to watch Caroline and Noah.

"What if I said I want you to come home with me… forever?"

Alex could feel Olivia go still in her arms. She held her breath.

"You mean…"

"I mean… I want you and Noah to come home with me and make it our home permanently." Alex said clearly and confidently.

Olivia watched her son for a moment as he giggled and hugged Caroline's neck and she smiled. "Okay."

* * *

 **TBC. Epilogue to come.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU and all characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

 **A/N:** So I made a mistake on the last A/N. This is **not** the epilogue. I had one more chapter in between that I totally missed. But look at it this way, you actually get one more chapter! Like always, let me know what you think.

* * *

 **Chapter 28**

Olivia lay awake listening to the most wonderful sounds. She glanced over at the nightstand and noticed the baby monitor was still on. _'Alex must have forgotten it was in here.'_ Olivia thought as she continued to listen. She could here Noah's giggles and slurred words as he and Alex sang the _Itsy Bitsy Spider_. Both were slightly out of tune but to Olivia it was more beautiful than any song she'd ever heard. Lacing over the song was the slightly elite voice of Caroline Cabot explaining to the two that they needed to be quiet or they'd disturb Olivia. Olivia was touched by how concerned the older woman seemed about her. It had been over a week since the shooting and she'd been home for two days now but neither blonde had left her side. Between Alex and her mother, Olivia had never been so pampered in her entire life. It felt like… family.

Family. That was something Olivia never thought she'd have. Now it appeared she had a ready-made family right down the hall. She took a deep breath and smiled. Today was the first day she'd been able to do so without wincing. Now if she could deal with this pesky shoulder, she'd be golden. Olivia looked down at the bulky contraption immobilizing her shoulder and entire arm and frowned. Sure, the doctors had told her that she would regain full mobility of her arm but that didn't mean it wouldn't be a pain in the ass in the meantime.

She pulled herself up in bed, using one arm of course, and sat on the edge. She eyed the letter from the Police Commissioner again. It had been over a week and she still hadn't opened it. She knew whatever was inside was probably going to change her life in some way. She just didn't know how. She took a deep breath and snatched it off the side table. After a few minutes of struggling with one hand, she managed to get the letter out of the envelope. She took a deep breath and began to read.

* * *

Alex wiped Noah's mouth and lifted him out of his high chair. He quickly made his way over to the blanket of toys lying in the living room floor. Alex smiled at him fondly, noticing how much better he was at walking. When she'd first met him months ago, he had been just learning. Now, he was nearly two and he was into just about everything. _'Who knew the terrible two's was really a thing?'_ She thought to herself.

"What are you smiling about?" Caroline said from the kitchen table. She had been watching her daughter as she drank her coffee.

Alex blushed and shook her head. "Nothing. I was just thinking how much he's grown since I met him."

Caroline looked over at the boy and smiled. "Yes, they grow so fast at this age. You were just as rambunctious at that age as well. Your father and I thought we would have to nail down everything movable. But you were my greatest joy no matter how many vases you broke …you still are." She chuckled as she saw her daughter blush. "You and Olivia must do yourselves a favor and enjoy every moment because before you know it, he'll be heading off to college."

Alex walked over to her mother and wrapped her arms around her from behind, squeezing her tightly. Caroline closed her eyes and placed her hand over Alex's arms enjoying the moment.

"I love you, Mom. I know I don't tell you this enough but I am so thankful for you and no matter what I will always be your little girl."

A few tears gathered in Caroline's eyes. She cleared her throat and patted Alex's arms. "I love you too, darling and it appears I have gained another daughter along the way."

Alex placed a quick peck on her mother's head and stepped away. "Speaking of Olivia, she should be up by now. I'm going to go check on her. Do you mind keeping an eye on him?"

Caroline clicked her tongue and ushered Alex away. "Go on. You know Noah will be fine with me."

Alex chuckled. "Of course. We all know you love him most."

"Picked up on that have you, darling?" Caroline said cheekily.

Alex ran her fingers through Noah's hair as she passed and made her way down the hall.

"I'm still waiting for that grandchild you know and he'd make an excellent candidate." Caroline called out behind her.

Alex simply shook her head and laughed. "I'm working on it, Mother."

* * *

Olivia read through the letter one more time before she placed it aside. She fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She heard the door snick open but she never looked away from the ceiling.

Alex took in the scene before her. She eyed the letter from the Commissioner for a moment before taking in Olivia's demeanor. She carefully eased on to the bed beside her.

"You okay?"

Olivia simply handed the letter to Alex to read. A few minutes passed before Alex placed the letter back in the envelope and placed it aside. She then moved closer and lay next to Olivia. They both stared at the ceiling in silence.

"So… Captain?" Alex asked softly.

"Yep." Olivia said

"So… they can just skip the Lieutenant's rank like that?"

"Technically, they're not. I'm already a Lieutenant."

Alex sat up on her elbow and looked at her. "Since when?"

"I got the results back about three weeks ago. I aced it."

"Of course you did, but why didn't you tell me?"

Olivia sighed and shrugged with one arm. "I was focused on the case and then you were taken. It was the last thing on my mind. And to be honest, I only took the exam because I knew the guys wouldn't want anyone outside the 1-6 commanding them. It just made sense for me to do it."

"So… you're a Captain now. That's a huge deal for you, but you don't seem very excited about it. You've been avoiding that letter for over a week as if you already knew what was in it." Alex watched her girlfriend carefully for a moment. "Talk to me."

Olivia reached over blindly and took Alex's hand. She brought it to her lips and placed a kiss on the palm before resting it against her chest.

"I love you, you know."

Alex frowned in confusion. "I know that. I love you too."

"I've been on the force since I was twenty-two years old. That's a long time. It's practically all I know."

Alex knew Olivia needed to work something out for herself so she simply remained quiet.

"We have an old saying among us cops… that the only way you leave the NYPD is either in a wheelchair or in a coffin." She paused for a long time. "I've given over twenty years to the job. I've been lucky enough to not need the wheelchair, but… I don't want to have to pay the ultimate sacrifice either. That's not fair to my son and it's not fair to you."

Alex moved closer and placed her head on Olivia's uninjured shoulder.

"Does that make me a bad cop?" Olivia asked quietly.

"No. That makes you a good mother and partner."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?"

"Because you _**are** _ such a good cop." Alex said simply.

Olivia sighed and continued to stare at the ceiling. Several silent minutes passed.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about this whole idea of karma. For a long time, I thought the job would be all that I'd ever have… all that I deserved to have in this life. Deep down I think I always felt like I was paying for the sins of my father. I felt like I was in this vicious cycle. The more I loathed him the more I felt like I had to give to the job; a penance of sorts. But then, Noah came into my life." She squeezed Alex's hand. "And you came back to me. It was like all that self-loathing and guilt started to disappear. I don't feel that way about my life anymore."

"I'm glad." Alex said around the lump in her throat.

"So… I'm not going to accept it. I'm going to retire."

Alex slowly lifted her head and stared into Olivia's eyes. She saw nothing but resolution there.

"Are you sure?"

Olivia nodded. "I've given my everything to the force for half of my life, Alex. I think it's about time I gave my everything to my son and the woman I love now."

Alex let out a tearful sob. "I love you and I'm with you no matter what you decide to do. I hope you know that"

"I know and I do. I just… it's hard for me to even consider walking away but..." Olivia sighed. "I just think there has to be a point where what I've given has to be enough. I've watched numerous people literally give their lives for this job. And I've seen how this job can destroy a person's soul."

For a moment, they were both quiet. Alex knew Olivia was thinking of her old partner, Elliot Stabler.

"What I'm saying is… I woke up to a healthy, happy family this morning and I want that. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I _really_ want that. And I don't want your lives to be tarnished by this job any more than it already has. You know what I mean?"

"I do."

Olivia let out a long breath before pulling herself upright. Alex followed. "So, you alright being with an ex-cop?"

Alex leaned over and placed a loving kiss on Olivia's lips. "Cop or not, all I've ever wanted was you."

Olivia blushed a little then chuckled. "Now, I guess the hard part is figuring out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life."

The baby monitor came to life as Caroline and Noah's voices rang out through the room. It sounded like the two were playing a game of crashing cars. Olivia and Alex laughed.

"How about we figure it out as a family?" Alex asked.

Something in Olivia's chest tightened in the best way and she smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Good. Now come on. Mother made her famous French Toast just for you." Alex said taking Olivia by the hand helping her up. "I'm beginning to think that she likes you much more than me."

"Alexandra Cabot, are you jealous?" Olivia teased.

Alex stopped and faced Olivia before opening the door. "Not in the slightest. I finally managed to do the impossible. I brought someone home that my mother finally approves of. It's a win-win and you know how I love to win."

Alex grinned and placed one last kiss on Olivia's lips before guiding her out the bedroom.

* * *

Epilogue to Come (For real this time!)


	29. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** Law  & Order SVU and all characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf. All mistakes are mine.

 **A/N:** So this is the end of the road for this story. I hope you enjoyed the journey and the conclusion. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride. As always, please let me know what you think. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Epilogue: 18 Months Later**

"Noah Benson-Cabot! You get back here young man!"

Alex and Caroline looked up from their individual tasks to see a flash of a giggling naked body racing through the living room charging towards them.

Caroline had just enough time to place her wine glass on the counter before she found her legs wrapped in a naked toddler. She looked down and raised an amused brow.

"Mimi! Mama! Save me. Mommy is coming to get me!"

They both glanced up to see a half soaked Olivia marching down the hallway looking very frustrated. Caroline chuckled. "I do believe you're about to be in big trouble mister."

"Don't you dare try to hide behind your mother or grandmother!" Olivia said seeing her son moving closer behind the older woman's legs. She wanted to be mad but the sight was so endearing, she nearly cracked a smile.

Alex shook her head. "I thought you said giving him a bath was a piece of cake?"

Olivia looked at her wife baffled. "When did our son become a ninja?"

Alex laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "He is rather agile these days. Maybe we should get him into gymnastics."

"I'd settle for just getting him into the bath tub." Olivia said reaching for the still wiggling boy.

Caroline laughed. "You two are such amateurs."

Alex raised a brow. "Excuse me?"

"Watch and learn, darlings." She said before looking down at the boy. "Noah?"

"Yes Mimi?"

"It is bath time, is it not?"

"Yes Mimi."

"Then why are you not in the bath at this time?"

Noah shrugged his shoulders. Caroline raised a brow and gave him the 'Cabot stare'. "Mommy got the bubbles wrong."

"Ah." Caroline nodded. "Not enough bubbles, hmm?"

Noah's head bobbed up and down.

"We can't have that now can we? Would you prefer Mimi give you your bath?"

"Yes please!" He said with a huge grin.

"Very well. Come along, my little prince." Caroline said holding out a hand. She led the naked boy out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the bathroom.

"I do have one condition however." She gestured to the tailored cream dress pants and top she was wearing. "Mimi has on Chanel. I do not wish to have it ruined with water stains. Are we clear, my darling?"

Noah grinned widely and bobbed his head. "Yes Mimi. No splashing."

Olivia stood with her mouth open in shock. "How does she do that?"

Alex leaned back against the counter and laughed. "Who knows? Only mother could manage to give a toddler a bath in Chanel and not get wet. Maybe she's a ninja too… or maybe a Jedi."

Olivia shook her head and leaning in for a kiss. "You're ridiculous. You know that right?"

Alex cupped Olivia's cheeks and brought their lips together for another kiss. "Ridiculously happy."

And they were ridiculously happy these days. Olivia now spent her days painting. She had even had a successful showing in a well-known gallery in Tribeca a couple of months ago. The remainder of her time was spent heading up the Healing Heart Center. With the backing of the Cabot Foundation, Olivia's center was able to offer counseling, treatment, and a safe haven for sexual abuse survivors. She had found a way to continue her life's work without the constant danger. Alex could not have been prouder.

Olivia wasn't the only one who made professional changes. Shortly after Olivia resigned from the NYPD, Alex decided to hand in her resignation as well. Alex enjoyed the work she did for the ICC and it did bring her a sense of gratification, but it just wasn't a good fit for her life anymore. She had a family now and spending days and possibly weeks at a time away from Olivia and Noah just wasn't acceptable. She now spent most of her days heading up the Cabot Foundation and taking on pro bono cases for the ACLU.

Olivia and Noah never spent another night in Olivia's old apartment after the shooting. Alex's place became their official home. What had once been a spotless, impeccably designed penthouse was now a real home filled with Noah's monster trucks, Spiderman action figures, and random toys mixed with Olivia's canvas paintings and workout equipment.

Every time Alex returned home from the office and nearly tripped over Olivia's sneakers by the door or saw Noah's Lego blocks scattered across the living room floor, her heart warmed. This wasn't just a place she lived anymore. This was a home. It was coming home to a similar scene that had made Alex realize that she wanted to come home to that chaos every night.

 _ **-Flash-**_

 _12 Months Ago_

 _Alex juggled her briefcase and the small bag of supplies she had picked up from the pharmacy on her way home. She had gotten a call from the day-care that Noah was running a fever and wasn't feeling well. Olivia, with the more flexible schedule between the two, had convinced Alex to stay at the office and that she would pick him up and take him home. Knowing how fussy Noah could be when he felt sick, Alex made sure to stop by the drug store to get everything they would possibly need to prevent them from needing to go back out later._

 _When she opened the door, she could hear Noah's whimpering coming from the bathroom down the hallway. She quickly discarded her coat and bag and made her way down the hall. She leaned in the doorway to the bathroom and watched as Olivia tried to sooth the boy with a cool bath. It seemed to be working but he was still whimpering. Olivia finally looked up and smiled._

 _"Hey, you're home."_

 _"Yeah. I brought some things from the store for him."_

 _"He's just a little feverish and he's all stuffed up which is annoying him."_

 _"Poor guy." Alex sympathized._

 _Hearing his favorite person's voice, Noah looked up and began to cry anew reaching out for Alex._

 _"Mama."_

 _Alex walked over and took a seat on the side of the tub catching his hand and rubbing his head. She was still getting used to her new title. They didn't really know how it happened, but Noah had started calling Alex Mama every now and then until one day it was Mama all the time._

 _Olivia moved back to allow Alex to get closer. She smiled as Noah attempted to climb out of the tub to get to Alex. The boy adored her._

 _"Hey, wait a sec buddy. You're going to get Mama all wet."_

 _Alex shushed her and quickly picked Noah up not caring in the slightest about getting bath water all over her thousand dollar suit._

 _Olivia simply shook her head as she watched the woman that everyone used to call the 'Ice Princess' gently dry her son and redress him with care. They spent the next few hours caring for Noah and trying to help him feel better._

 _It was well after midnight when his fever finally broke. He fell asleep lying between the two of them in their bed. Olivia ran a finger through his thick brown hair and looked up at Alex who still had her eyes trained on Noah._

 _"Fever's gone. I think he might sleep for a while." Olivia said softly. "Sorry he kept you up. I know you have that meeting in the morning."_

 _Alex finally looked up and met her eyes. "Marry me."_

 _Olivia blinked a few times as her mouth dropped open. "Uh…wh… what did you just say?"_

 _"I love you. I love him. I love waking up with you every morning. I love holding him and reading to him as he drifts off to sleep at night. I love that he calls me Mama. I love falling to sleep in your arms. I love the perfect days when everything is going right and I love the hectic days when everything is a mess like tonight. I love this life we've built together and I want this every single day for the rest of my life. Will you marry me, Olivia Benson?"_

 _Olivia's eyes were filled with tears and she swallowed around the lump in her throat. She nodded. "Yes, Alex. I'll marry you."_

 _Alex leaned over their sleeping toddler and cupped Olivia's cheek bringing her in for a kiss._

 _ **-Flash-**_

Alex giggled and tried to push her still half soaked wife back and wiggle away as Olivia playfully tried to pull her back into her arms again.

"Stop it! You're all wet."

Olivia's eyes darkened as she moved in and continued her attack on Alex's neck. "You have no idea just how wet I am right now, Counselor. Just one look at you does that to me."

Alex gave up the fight and allowed Olivia to fully embrace her. She shook her head and smiled warmly as she caressed Olivia's cheek.

"You're a mess."

Olivia chuckled. "Yeah, but I'm your mess."

Alex's eyes twinkled and she nodded. "Yes, you are and you're so much more than I ever deserved. I love you."

Olivia kissed her sweetly before she pulled back. Her eyes drifted down to the almost non-existing baby bump on her wife's midsection. She placed her hand there and smiled full of contentment. "I love you too and I think this life with our family is _everything_ that we deserve."

The End.


End file.
